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Thread: so ready to quit

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Jun 2008
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    27

    Default so ready to quit

    hi my son is 9m and these pass to weeks i am totaly over bf! I have a baby who never sleeps and snacks all the time. i am always worried he is hungry and just not knowing if he hungry or not is getting to me. i reallly want a schedule but its so hard with bf and not knowing how much he has taken. i want to leave but fear he will be hungry all the time. anyone have suggestions? he only eats sometimes for like 5 mins. and he nurse before naps. ok tia

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Jul 2006
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    Oh FFS!
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    Default Re: so ready to quit

    9Months did you say? How long does he sleep when he does nap? Can you do anything for yourself during that time? Is he learning anything new?

  3. #3
    Join Date
    May 2006
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    Default Re: so ready to quit

    We all have days like this. Believe me!!!

    Can you post a bit more on the troubles you're having? Are you not getting a good night's sleep, or is it a napping issue, or is it both? Are you able to get out by yourself ever? Will your baby take a bottle? How often does your baby nurse in a 24-hour period? Is he growing nicely and meeting milestones?

    Hang in there! I remember 9 months being an exceedingly hard time. But it gets better!!!
    Coolest thing my big girl said recently: "How can you tell the world is moving when you are standing on it?"
    Coolest thing my little girl sang recently: "I love dat one-two pupples!"

  4. #4

    Default Re: so ready to quit

    mama. These days are hard.

    How is his diaper output? As babies get older and learn new things, sometimes they like to come back to mama to check in and remind themselves that you are still there for them, so they can feel confident and go off and explore some more.
    Shannon
    LLL Leader

    Protect your privacy online; don't use your full name. Click My Alias at the top left corner.

    I'm horrible at html and encoding links, so I apologize in advance for all the long links!

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Oct 2006
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    Idaho
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    3,787

    Default Re: so ready to quit

    All I can say is your doing a great job!!! It is so hard but well worth it.. Hang in there!!!
    Allie
    Wife to T
    Mother to 4 crazy ones

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Jun 2008
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    27

    Default Re: so ready to quit

    i dont know where to begin. he doesnt nap, and he always fights sleep. please dont judge but i have done some cio. its causing fighting btw me and my husband. I am always worried he hasnt had enough. i cant leave in fear that he will be hungry since he only eats for 10mins! i cant seem to figure it out at all. he did improve with the cio but after teething and a cold i back to where i started. he wont nap during the day and if he does fall asleep its for 30mins. he is so exhauseted byt he end of the day he goes to bed btw 530-6pm. like lastnight he woke at 10pm and we ended up fighting because he has gone till 3am so i figured he could do it again. but my husband felt he was hungry since i worked and i have no way of knowing how much he had. i just want my son to be rested. i have to pump at work which i hate, i never get much 2-3oz. so i am always worried about my supply. its taking a hit since af returned. it just seems like i all i do is worry about bf. hence the resentment. i feel like i cant leave because, h e might get hungry. uggghhhhhh i just so feed up. with it all.

  7. #7
    Join Date
    May 2006
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    21,361

    Default Re: so ready to quit

    Quote Originally Posted by @llli*daniels.mama View Post
    i dont know where to begin. he doesnt nap, and he always fights sleep. please dont judge but i have done some cio. its causing fighting btw me and my husband.
    Don't worry, no-one will judge you! It's torture to go 9 months with little sleep, and sometimes that means trying things that we never thought we'd do, like CIO. Have you read Elizabeth Pantley's book The No-Cry Sleep Solution? It's got a lot of gentle ways to help your baby sleep longer and better for naps and at night, and it has a number of ways to help your baby disassociate sleeping with nursing.

    Fighting with your husband over your child's sleep is really rough. I've been there! It's really hard for exhausted people to communicate well and to be patient, and if you can't do either of those things you are going to fight. Once your baby is sleeping better, the fighting will end.

    Quote Originally Posted by @llli*daniels.mama View Post
    I am always worried he hasnt had enough. i cant leave in fear that he will be hungry since he only eats for 10mins!
    At 9 months old, I would be surprised if your baby took more than 10 minutes to nurse. Most babies become very efficient nursers, and get everything they need in a very short period of time.

    Since you're worried that your baby will be hungry if you leave him, I see a few options:
    1. Pump and leave a bottle (if he will take one).
    2. Leave some solid food.
    3. Take your baby with you and nurse on the go. You probably wouldn't need to- most babies are so interested in the outside world that they go longer without nursing when in public.

    Quote Originally Posted by @llli*daniels.mama View Post
    i cant seem to figure it out at all. he did improve with the cio but after teething and a cold i back to where i started.
    That's normal. Most kids have sleep setbacks when teething, mastering a new developmental skill, or being sick. You might want to take your baby in to the pediatrician and make sure his ears are okay- ear infections cause a lot of sleep problems!

    Quote Originally Posted by @llli*daniels.mama View Post
    he wont nap during the day and if he does fall asleep its for 30mins. he is so exhauseted byt he end of the day he goes to bed btw 530-6pm. like lastnight he woke at 10pm and we ended up fighting because he has gone till 3am so i figured he could do it again. but my husband felt he was hungry since i worked and i have no way of knowing how much he had. i just want my son to be rested.
    Ouch! What a night you must have had!!! My husband and I had similar fights over nighttime feeding. It seems to me that your baby is going to bed awfully early, probably as a result of his failure to nap. Since he went to bed so early, it makes sense that he got hungry again earlier than expected. Again, I'd recommend Pantley's book. You could also try waking him right before you go to bed, and seeing if he will feed. That might keep him satisfied longer.

    Quote Originally Posted by @llli*daniels.mama View Post
    i have to pump at work which i hate, i never get much 2-3oz. so i am always worried about my supply. its taking a hit since af returned. it just seems like i all i do is worry about bf. hence the resentment. i feel like i cant leave because, h e might get hungry. uggghhhhhh i just so feed up. with it all.
    Pumping is not a good gauge of your supply! Babies are much better at getting milk out than pumps are. But I can totally understand your worry, and the resentment.

    If exclusive breastfeeding is pushing you over the edge, and you feel like you want to wean, there are a few things to consider. First, switching to formula may not solve your child's sleep problems. If he's conditioned himself to want to eat during the night, he will probably just wake you up screaming for a bottle. Second, a lot of moms combo-feed. If you feel like weaning is the only way you can preserve your sanity, you might want to consider trying the occasional bottle of formula, just so that you can get out of the house and have so sane time to yourself, or so that your husband can take over one of the nighttime feedings. Just remember that every time you supplement with formula, you risk decreasing your supply. It's a tough choice to make. But remember, being a mommy is hard work, the hardest there is. No one thing will work for every mom and every baby- so do what is right for you and your baby.
    Coolest thing my big girl said recently: "How can you tell the world is moving when you are standing on it?"
    Coolest thing my little girl sang recently: "I love dat one-two pupples!"

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Jun 2008
    Posts
    27

    Default Re: so ready to quit

    thing is i had wanted to make a year with out supplementation. So i not sure i want to go that route. I think its the sleeping thing that really getting to me. is it due to breastfeeding that makes him wake so much. how would i know if he wasnt getting enough milk? i not that great with solids not much of a routine i give him some in the morning and some in the afternoon any thoughts

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Jul 2006
    Posts
    2,453

    Default Re: so ready to quit

    First, . My little guy was a terrible sleeper too. It not fun, but it does get better.

    Here is an article on how to tell if your baby is getting enough milk. http://www.kellymom.com/newman/04enough_milk.html

    I always had to remind myself that babies nurse for comfort as well as for food. Sometimes I'd try not nursing him when he woke because I knew he simply couldn't be hungry, but he made it perfectly clear that comfort nursing was a need just like food.

    But I wouldn't blame nursing for the night waking. My daughter was not breastfed and woke just as frequently for a bottle. Even after we stopped feeding her at night, she woke for hugs and cuddles. Some kids sleep well, ours don't.

    The No-Cry Sleep Solution is a good read. Much gentler than cio, but you can feel like you are doing something to solve the problem. Might help with DH.

    Good luck!
    Katie
    Just one more fanatical cloth diaper convert...
    Mom to Morgan (01/10/04) and Zachary (07/12/06)
    What are M & Z up to now?

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