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Thread: Scheduling/Feeding/Sleeping???

  1. #21
    Join Date
    Mar 2008
    Posts
    8

    Default Re: Scheduling/Feeding/Sleeping???

    Hi, I really feel for you and the stress I know you are feeling after reading something that makes you question what you have done. My LO is 14 weeks and for awhile he wasn't sleeping at all during the day, I mean at all. It was horrible and I was stressed beyond anything I ever imagined. I ready a ton of books to try to help me figure out what I was doing "wrong". I ready BabyWise, Baby Whisperer, Healthy Sleep Habits Happy Child, and the Womanly Art of Breastfeeding. For me the Womanly Art of Breastfeeding (demand feed oriented) was the one that seemed crazy to me.

    I think there are strong arguments on both sides of the spectrum. PDF (parent directed feeding) makes more sense for our family and I don't believe that either is the "right" or "wrong" thing for a baby. I think what is most important is that your baby is growing, gaining weight, having wet & poop diapers, and also that you as a mom are comfortable with how you are choosing to do things. Nothing is worse in my mind than trying to fit yourself into a mold that a book says you should fit.

    For me I have used the routine of Babywise the Eat, Awake, Sleep, but listen to his cues for when he is hungry and that is when this routine takes place. It has helped him to have a "schedule" of his own that has so far gone from very frequent feeds, to about every 2-3 hours, and now for the past few weeks he goes every 3-4 hours. He is healthy, happy, and we are able to function very well as a family with some predictability taking place. He has always slept through the nights so I wake him to feed him at certain times.

    Listen to your gut and ask yourself if you think the books you read are in line with what you want for you, your baby, and your family and if they aren't move on.

    For us the Baby Wise Book along with the Healthy Sleep Habits, which saved us during the napping issues, are the ones we found to be helpful.

    Good luck to you and just a little FYI, I know PDF kids and ones who were demand fed, both groups are healthy great kids. Do what is best for your family!

  2. #22
    Join Date
    May 2008
    Location
    Phoenix, AZ
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    50

    Default Re: Scheduling/Feeding/Sleeping???

    Quote Originally Posted by c218 View Post
    My baby girl will be 9 weeks old on Tuesday. I've been feeding her on demand thus far, but read a book (Babywise on Sleeping) yesterday which made me question that and actually really stressed me out. It said I should have had her on a schedule from day one following this pattern: feed/wake/sleep. Recently I began nursing her lying down at night because it's the only way either of us seem to sleep well at night. I'm wondering now that she's a little older if I shouldn't try scheduling and getting her to sleep in her crib, although she's such a STRONG nurser, she most often gets more milk than she needs. She doesn't spit up much at night because we go right back to sleep, but I fear that she may choke if she does spit up and I don't want her to be in a separate room for fear of that. After stressing out over that book, the one thing I did vow to do was to make sure she gets a full feeding on both sides during every feeding (except at night), which should eventually lead to feedings at more regular intervals than the demand feedings, right? I wonder what thoughts anyone can give me on this! Thank you kindly!
    I read the book "On Becoming Babywise" when my LO was 7 weeks old. I too was doing the demand feeding which meant that during the day she was eating every 4-5 hours and at night every 1 1/2 hrs. I was new to all this and had no idea what I was doing. That book put everything into perspective for me. I read a lot of posts on here and I agree you shouldn't allow a book to determine when you LO eats and sleeps, however, my LO was not gaining very well by demand feeding and I was getting no sleep (due to snack feeding).

    That book clearly states that you should feed your LO at least every so many hours (depending on how many weeks old) but if they want to eat earlier you can feed them. It worked great for me, since my LO never really told me she was hungry. After reading the book, I got her to start eating more during the day and within the first week of putting her on a sort of schedule, she was sleeping 7 hours straight. (I did end up putting her in her crib, due to her talking in her sleep throughout the night, which allowed me to get no sleep, since I was constantly waking up to check and see if she was really awake). After a few weeks of putting her on a feed/wake/sleep schedule she fell right into it and was so much happier. Before when I was demand feeding, she would start screaming when she woke up because she was so hungry. After I started making sure she was eating at least every 2 1/2-3 hours, she hardly ever cried to be fed and she took 1-1 1/2 hour naps constantly. It was great and she gained more weight then I could have imagined.

    I am sure this book is not for everyone, as all babies are different. But I do feel attacked from some of the PP that stated such a strong belief that this book is so horrible, when in fact it helped me greatly.

    I did read one post on here where the they feed their LO before she puts her LO down for a nap. The only issue with this, which the book does address, is they may only feed until they fall asleep instead of feeding until they are full. If they only feed until they fall asleep, which I did do to get my LO to go to sleep, then they either are only snacking, which leads to more feedings, or are not full, which means they will wake up earlier from a nap because they are hungry sooner. After reading the book, I fed her right when she woke up and made sure I kept her awake to take a full feeding, which led her to take longer naps. It was great.

    I still keep her on this schedule and she is now almost 7 months old. She takes 2 two hour naps a day and eats every 3-3 1/2 hours and sometimes she will want to top off before she goes to sleep, which I will do. She stays awake for 1 1/2-2 hrs after she wakes up and then again after the first nap. She goes to sleep at 8pm and wakes up between 7 and 8am.

    I really hope that some of the PP on here do not discourage you from trying to put your LO on a schedule if this is something you want to do. It is proven in many studies that babies adapt really well to scheduling, becuase they know what to expect and I truly believe that. I am one person that has proven that with my LO.

    Good Luck!
    Married my soulmate Jay 4/22/06
    First time Mom to Alexis 10/29/07 6lbs 15oz 19 3/4 in
    6 month checkup 12lb 10oz 26 1/2 in
    7 month weight check 14lb 6oz - Yea!!
    9 Month checkup - 16lbs

    and

    Love to

    Goal
    6 months
    9 months
    12 months

  3. #23
    Join Date
    Mar 2008
    Posts
    102

    Talking Re: Scheduling/Feeding/Sleeping???

    It is so nice to hear that on this site there are other moms who love BW. I was being driven batty trying to do demand feedings and was lost, in the dark, sleep deprived, and just plain ready to give up BFing. Since I read BW everything has smoothed over. I love the fact that I, to some extent, know when she is going to be tired, and when she is going to be hungry. I also like that I know she will be hungry and eat right before I go to work and 1/2 hr after I get off, giving me just a little bit of extra time to get out and on the road before I pick her up. Maybe it is just my personallity- I do schedule nearly everything in my own life (and allow for flexibility). BW just works better for both of us.
    Reagan Allison
    Born 12/29/07
    7 lbs 3 oz
    Goals:
    Nurse 1 month
    Nurse 3 months
    Nurse 6 months
    Nurse 9 months
    Nurse 1 year

  4. #24
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
    Posts
    2,866

    Default Re: Scheduling/Feeding/Sleeping???

    Quote Originally Posted by ReallyLoveBeingAMom View Post
    I am sure this book is not for everyone, as all babies are different. But I do feel attacked from some of the PP that stated such a strong belief that this book is so horrible, when in fact it helped me greatly.
    Please don't let what others think about a book let you feel that it is an attack on you. "No one can make you feel inferior without your consent."--Eleanor Roosevelt

    I'll be back with more info...running out for the night!

  5. #25
    Join Date
    Apr 2006
    Posts
    168

    Default Re: Scheduling/Feeding/Sleeping???

    Tons of info out there on the whole Babywise thing. Here's a website with lots of info that will make you feel better about trashing that book!

    http://ezzo.info/

  6. #26
    Join Date
    Dec 2007
    Posts
    185

    Default Re: Scheduling/Feeding/Sleeping???

    I haven't read the other responses yet but I'm sure I don't need to say anything else about Babywise.

    I didn't have a schedule for my little one for his first three months. I fed him every time he was hungry, played with him when he was awake, and put him down for naps when he showed tired signs. He's five months old. I still feed him completely on demand. But right around three months, he put himself on a sort of schedule that works very well for us. He stays awake for about two hours, naps for about two hours, is awake for two, and so on. He also gets himself up no later than 7 every morning and is ready for bed by 7 every night. Going on a two up, two down schedule works well for us. It's scheduled enough that he gets as much sleep as a baby needs but it's flexible enough to handle the days when we're on the go for four or five hours at a stretch.

    Babies aren't manipulative. They came from an environment where they were held 24/7, were warm, soothed, and fed without ever wondering if the warmth and comfort they needed was suddenly not going to be there. The first few months of a baby's life outside the womb are the same: They can't see well. They can't move to get out of danger. They certainly can't feed themselves. And they can't communicate their needs. Our little ones need every bit of comfort, affection, and nursing we can give them. It's not manipulative that they cry. It's their only means of telling us what's wrong. Listen and respond. Books can give you guidelines and suggestions but they don't know your child the way you do.You've spent nine weeks nurturing your little one. You KNOW what she needs. Trust that.

    ~~ Meri
    Truth never dies but it leads a wretched life.

  7. #27
    Join Date
    May 2006
    Posts
    2,178

    Default Re: Scheduling/Feeding/Sleeping???

    Quote Originally Posted by ReallyLoveBeingAMom View Post
    I am sure this book is not for everyone, as all babies are different. But I do feel attacked from some of the PP that stated such a strong belief that this book is so horrible, when in fact it helped me greatly.
    I'm glad that things worked out for you so well. However, Mr. Ezzo's info has also been very damaging to many babies and families. It is truly not safe advice to apply to all children, because while it might work for a lucky small percentage of folks (like you), it can also really harm others.

    I don't know if you took the chance to read the links that GPAC posted, but if not, I'd urge you to check it out to see what everyone is talking about. I certainly don't want you to feel attacked, but there is evidence as to what they're talking about, and it would really benefit you to know what they're all talking about.

    Here is an interesting quote from AAP News (American Academy of Pediatrics):
    'Babywise' advice linked to dehydration, failure to thrive
    Matthew Aney M.D.

    Expectant parents often fear the changes a new baby will bring, especially sleepless nights. What new parent wouldn't want a how-to book that promises their baby will be sleeping through the night by three to eight weeks?

    One such book, On Becoming Babywise, has raised concern among pediatricians because it outlines an infant feeding program that has been associated with failure to thrive (FTT), poor milk supply failure, and involuntary early weaning. A Forsyth Medical Hospital Review Committee, in Winston-Salem N.C., has listed 11 areas in which the program is inadequately supported by conventional medical practice. The Child Abuse Prevention Council of Orange County, Calif., stated its concern after physicians called them with reports of dehydration, slow growth and development, and FTT associated with the program. And on Feb. 8, AAP District IV passed a resolution asking the Academy to investigate "Babywise," determine the extent of its effects on infant health and alert its members, other organizations and parents of its findings.
    http://aapnews.aappublications.org/c...stract/14/4/21

    This particular page has lots of info and links if you want to learn more about the other side of the story: http://www.ezzo.info/feeding.htm

    And this link has firsthand accounts of babywise users who ended up having a much different experience than you did. Many of them ended up with babies in the E.R. http://www.ezzo.info/voices.htm

    Again, I'm really happy for you that the program worked for you, but please don't take it personally when folks speak out against it. It's not personal. There is concrete evidence that Ezzo's babywise program is harmful to many babies, even though some kids do fine with it.

  8. #28
    Join Date
    Jun 2008
    Posts
    1,363

    Default Re: Scheduling/Feeding/Sleeping???

    I used the principles from Baby Wise with my first baby and it worked for us. But, we are having another one this month and I will do whatever it takes to make this baby happy. If a schedule works, then we'll go with a schedule. If this baby needs to feed on demand all the time, then I will do that. I think it depends a LOT on each baby's unique personality and needs. Good luck!

  9. #29
    Join Date
    May 2008
    Location
    Phoenix, AZ
    Posts
    50

    Default Re: Scheduling/Feeding/Sleeping???

    Quote Originally Posted by samantha6672 View Post
    Tons of info out there on the whole Babywise thing. Here's a website with lots of info that will make you feel better about trashing that book!

    http://ezzo.info/
    I really wish everyone would stop making me feel like a horrible mother by using this book! I thought this forum was supposed to help other mothers, not put them down for reading a book and actually liking it. That website is just other peoples opinions. This book was recommended to me and it did work. I am ready to not even be on this forum. I can't believe you can have such a strong feeling about it. You really make me feel really bad! I don't appreciate it at all. Why don't you just let everyone make their own decisions and stop trying to get everyone to take your side. I am really mad.
    Married my soulmate Jay 4/22/06
    First time Mom to Alexis 10/29/07 6lbs 15oz 19 3/4 in
    6 month checkup 12lb 10oz 26 1/2 in
    7 month weight check 14lb 6oz - Yea!!
    9 Month checkup - 16lbs

    and

    Love to

    Goal
    6 months
    9 months
    12 months

  10. #30
    Join Date
    May 2008
    Location
    Phoenix, AZ
    Posts
    50

    Default Re: Scheduling/Feeding/Sleeping???

    Quote Originally Posted by @llli*eelme.eelme1 View Post
    I used the principles from Baby Wise with my first baby and it worked for us. But, we are having another one this month and I will do whatever it takes to make this baby happy. If a schedule works, then we'll go with a schedule. If this baby needs to feed on demand all the time, then I will do that. I think it depends a LOT on each baby's unique personality and needs. Good luck!
    Thank you!!!!!!!
    Married my soulmate Jay 4/22/06
    First time Mom to Alexis 10/29/07 6lbs 15oz 19 3/4 in
    6 month checkup 12lb 10oz 26 1/2 in
    7 month weight check 14lb 6oz - Yea!!
    9 Month checkup - 16lbs

    and

    Love to

    Goal
    6 months
    9 months
    12 months

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