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Thread: Obsessive

  1. #1
    Join Date
    May 2008
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    8

    Default Obsessive

    Do you ever feel as though you have become obsessive about nurishing your little one?

    I have local support from LLLI that encourages my breastfeeding (which I am greatly thankful for), but I can't help but feel overwhelmed by task of breastfeeding. My pediatrician recommended that I supplement with formula (once/twice a day) to help our baby with weight gain since she was low in the percentiles for that. She thought that this would only be temporary. Our 2 month check up is coming up and I am still supplementing. Over the last couple of days the amount of formula feedings have increased, which I know is because of convenience. As going back to work approaches (I still have a month and a half), I wonder if I will be able to stick with BF. I feel very good about BF and nurishing my daughter that way, but sometimes I wonder if I can really continue. I think about reclaiming my body, but also think about how sharing my body is really connecting me to my daughter and providing her with so many benefits. I know it is one day at a time and I am really going to try to get off of formula and increase my BF. I do pump as well to help with the night time feeds and I think that helps take some pressure off at times.

    Thank you for letting me share. It helps me recommit to BF by being a part of these forums.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Apr 2008
    Posts
    86

    Default Re: Obsessive

    you have to do what you feel is best for your baby. remember, when you are tense, frustrated, stressed, your LO can sense that and often take on those same emotions. relax and breatth. you are doing a wonderful job! if you truly want to get your LO off formula and on EBM/EBF then get your LO to your breast as often as possible so he is comfortable & so you can build up your supply. skin to skin time is important as well. GL! keep coming to the forums to stay motivated and connected. thats why im on everyday!

    Happily engaged to my best friend , Matthew
    1st time mama to Lucianna Dene' 3/29/08
    Exclusively and for 12 weeks and counting!!
    We discovered that we LOVE !

    Birth: 8 lbs 11 oz 21 in
    2 mo: 10 lbs 11 oz 23 in

    **first in my family to bf!**

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Jun 2006
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    COUGARTOWN Baby! From here on in!
    Posts
    17,438

    Default Re: Obsessive

    Quote Originally Posted by MamaB View Post
    Do you ever feel as though you have become obsessive about nurishing your little one?

    I have local support from LLLI that encourages my breastfeeding (which I am greatly thankful for), but I can't help but feel overwhelmed by task of breastfeeding. My pediatrician recommended that I supplement with formula (once/twice a day) to help our baby with weight gain since she was low in the percentiles for that. She thought that this would only be temporary. Our 2 month check up is coming up and I am still supplementing. Over the last couple of days the amount of formula feedings have increased, which I know is because of convenience. As going back to work approaches (I still have a month and a half), I wonder if I will be able to stick with BF. I feel very good about BF and nurishing my daughter that way, but sometimes I wonder if I can really continue. I think about reclaiming my body, but also think about how sharing my body is really connecting me to my daughter and providing her with so many benefits. I know it is one day at a time and I am really going to try to get off of formula and increase my BF. I do pump as well to help with the night time feeds and I think that helps take some pressure off at times.

    Thank you for letting me share. It helps me recommit to BF by being a part of these forums.
    I want to comment on two parts of your statement. The 1st is to ask why you find breastfeeding overwhelming? Can you pinpoint why? Because I I hear that and I don't really understand it. Women, all women who have children are completely sustaining their children for the length of their pregnancy and think nothing of it. We all eat the most healthy food possible, don't eat things that put our fetuses at risk (soft cheese, too much tuna ect.) and in general take our prenatals religiously. I don't understand the disconnect once a child is born. Clearly even though they are no longer inside of us the same things are true about them. In that for all the reasons you avoid risks before a child is born should still be considered. They are still forming and growing.

    Also, your statement about your Pedi "instructing you" to supplement due to your childs being in low percentiles deserves some examination and could perhaps serve as a learning tool for other new mothers. Because two things have happened as a result of it. 1st, while I know it's easier to be confident with a large baby, again I'm not really sure why. Every baby should be allowed to grow at their own rate, and in fact every baby from the 1stpercentile to the 100th percentile is in fact NORMAL. People have to be at one end of the spectrum or the other for there to be a spectrum. And yet these charts are consistently used to undermine new mothers confidence in their ability to feed. And time and time again misinformed Pedi's play into new mothers' fears, and then give them advice that is detrimental to their breastfeeding relationships. Supplementation ALWAYS affects supply and demand. It's a slippery slope and once your on it, you really have to put in EXTRA WORK to get off of it. In that, every time you supplement your body misses AT LEAST two signals to make milk. One when your child gets a bottle instead of being brought to your breast to stimulate production and again when your child doesn't come to the breast as soon as they normally would because formula takes so much longer to digest and absorb. SO instead of getting the next cue to feed in 1-3 hours like normal, your body doesn't get it for at least 4hours. Women who are already doubting their ability to correctly nourish their child take this longer break as a sign that formula is some how better or more satisfying than their own milk. When in fact NOTHING could be further from the truth.

    Two phrases you used really stood out to me and made me think about the different perspectives and how they affect our thinking. You said you feel over whelmed and you think about re claiming your body. I have never felt overwhelmed with breastfeeding. Irritated, touched out and strapped to the couch, sure. But the word that I feel best describes the way I feel about breastfeeding is EMPOWERED. I am responsible for his development and growth. And I did it! I am STILL DOING IT!. I make my kid grow!
    You talk about reclaiming your body. And I know many women share that sentiment. I feel as though my body, has claimed it's true purpose in life. No longer are my breasts ornamental. They are utilitarian. They are being used for the one true purpose they have. Which is to sustain my child.

    And lastly I want to answer your last question. Which is OF COURSE you can do it!! It won't be easy. Going back to work and pumping never is. Nothing about it is. Being separated from your child and pumping is extra work. But I hope some of the mothers that went back to work and made it a year come and tell you how they feel when they made it a year. Because those are WONDERFUL empowering stories! And one of the most powerful things about those stories IMO is the way that breastfeeding keeps those mothers and children connected. And helps them reconnect after being away from each other for 8+ hours a day. So I hope you decide that breastfeeding is worth continuing. And more importantly I hope you know that you in no way failed because you have a baby whose weight is in the low percentiles. It takes all kinds. You want to know if breastfeeding is working, count diapers. That's it. If it goes in, it comes out. If you have enough wet diapers in a day your doing fine.
    Good luck to you!

    Way too lazy for formula

  4. #4
    Join Date
    May 2008
    Posts
    213

    Default Re: Obsessive

    Hi! I understand your frustration. There are days when I feel consumed by breastfeeding and when bottle feeding with formula seems so much more convenient. I've had to supplement with formula first due to jaundice then to low milk supply, so that slippery slope of formula is certainly tempting at times. B/f is a commitment, to be sure, and it's often difficult for me to imagine how I'm going to exist outside of my house and off of the couch if I'm still b/f my daughter. How do women manage that and still run errands, be social, etc? Well, it can be done even if it does take a bit more thought than just packing formula and bottles. My LO and I managed an entire day out and about yesterday with only the boobs for nourishment.

    I hope today is a better day for you and that you're feeling more confident about breastfeeding. Hang in there...you can do this!
    Fran
    Mom to Anna, March 28, 2008

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Mar 2008
    Posts
    165

    Default Re: Obsessive

    Quote Originally Posted by DJ's Mom View Post
    Also, your statement about your Pedi "instructing you" to supplement due to your childs being in low percentiles deserves some examination and could perhaps serve as a learning tool for other new mothers. Because two things have happened as a result of it. 1st, while I know it's easier to be confident with a large baby, again I'm not really sure why. Every baby should be allowed to grow at their own rate, and in fact every baby from the 1stpercentile to the 100th percentile is in fact NORMAL. People have to be at one end of the spectrum or the other for there to be a spectrum. And yet these charts are consistently used to undermine new mothers confidence in their ability to feed. And time and time again misinformed Pedi's play into new mothers' fears, and then give them advice that is detrimental to their breastfeeding relationships. Supplementation ALWAYS affects supply and demand. It's a slippery slope and once your on it, you really have to put in EXTRA WORK to get off of it. In that, every time you supplement your body misses AT LEAST two signals to make milk. One when your child gets a bottle instead of being brought to your breast to stimulate production and again when your child doesn't come to the breast as soon as they normally would because formula takes so much longer to digest and absorb. SO instead of getting the next cue to feed in 1-3 hours like normal, your body doesn't get it for at least 4hours. Women who are already doubting their ability to correctly nourish their child take this longer break as a sign that formula is some how better or more satisfying than their own milk. When in fact NOTHING could be further from the truth.
    I completely agree with this statement. My LO is on the 5% and my ped tried to get me to supplement on several occasions saying that she should be gaining weight a lot faster. He had even drawn his own growth curve for her when she was first born which was completely outside any curve and believes that she should be on that line. HELLO...your line was a suggestion not something that SHOULD happen. My LO is content and doing awesome developmentally, she's just little and petite. I've been pretty petite all my life. I always got out of supplementing because she has reflux and inconsistent bowels and formula would make both those issues even worse.

    As long as your LO is gaining weight at a consistant rate and is content and doing well developmentally, there is no need to supplement in order to put on weight. Definately consider bfing exclusively, even going back to work. I'll be going back in August and I plan to be pumping my little heart out to make sure all she gets is breast milk while she's at day care.

    Good luck and even when it gets rough don't give up because its what's best for you LO.
    First time mom of Cristiana Veronika

    Born on 1/26/08 (@ 36 wks) weighing 5 lbs 14 oz


    and

    + = happy baby

  6. #6
    Join Date
    May 2008
    Posts
    174

    Default Re: Obsessive

    Just wanted to add some support to you. BF is harder in the early weeks but it really does get so easy with time; you'll forget that there was ever a challenge. Caring for a newborn is challenging early on too...this also gets easier.

    My pedi is also pushing more supplementation w/ formula. Both my boys were preemie and I am so tired of having their growth compared to a full-term baby's...especially for my 6 week old (really a 1 week old gestationally). As long as babe is growing and following a curve (be it 5th, 50th or 95th) then they are OK.

    Sounds challenging to have to go back to work so soon...good luck. We are lucky here, we get a year here so it is less stressful.
    2005 2008

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