Okay, so this sucks but I can't afford to fight it anymore and have no choice but to accept it and make the best of it, so I want to do what I can to ease the baby's transition:
Single mom with 5-1/2 month old baby, exclusively breastfed from birth, just starting to experiment with solids. At 3 months old I tried to return to work and she suddenly refused all bottles, tried different nipples, different methods, different people, etc. she just screamed so I gave up and took a job as a nanny and bring her with me. Aside from those few days trying to work, she's basically been with me 24/7, co-sleeps, etc. She's going through an everyone-else-is-a-stranger phase and cries and reaches for me if anyone else holds her (except my twin sister, that's a puzzler for her).
At 7 months, she is court-ordered to go with her father for 8 hours each Sunday, and at 10 months, he gets every other weekend from Friday 6 pm to Sunday 6 pm. I don't know what he will feed her or how and more than likely he will refuse to tell me so I have to consider all possibilities. I will "offer" BM, but if I push it more than that he will probably refuse to spite me.
How do we do this? I need to experiment to find out if lipase is an issue with my milk and attempt to build a new stash. I assume I should start teaching her to use a sippy cup? Should I offer formula at times in case he gives her that instead? What will happen if he gives her whole cows milk? If I nurse before she leaves and when she comes back, can she do well with solids only for 8 hours at 7 months?
For the weekends, I don't even know where to begin. Assuming she'll drink from a cup, how much BM would I need to send for 48 hours at 10 months? What will happen if he gives her solids and water only? Is cosleeping going to make it worse for her than if I tried to get her used to sleeping alone now? Do I need to teach her to fall asleep without nursing?
Aside from all that -- how do I get her to accept other people? He is supposed to start with 4 hours a week but so far hasn't and probably won't, so he will be a stranger. If she cries when he takes her, will she stop when they're gone? Is there anything I can do to help her trust him? Do babies in daycare adjust okay during stranger-danger phases? How long does it take?
Thanks for any suggestions, I just want to do the best I can for her.