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Thread: New Mom, Help!

  1. #11
    Join Date
    May 2008

    Default Re: New Mom, Help!

    Thanks everyone for giving me so many words of encouragement in these first weeks. I'm glad that everyone else has had the same feelings as me when they were a new mom. Sometimes you just feel so alone sometimes. It's good to know there are people out there that care about you succeeding as a new mom. Thank you so much. I come here everyday now to read posts!!

  2. #12
    Join Date
    Jan 2008

    Default Re: New Mom, Help!

    Believe it or not, you will be fine! My daughter is 8 weeks old now and we're adapting quite nicely. I still don't get to sleep as much as I would like but it is getting better. Do you have anyone that can come help you during the day even if for a couple of hours? My mother would come up on occasion and clean up or do dishes while I nursed and if I wasn't nursing the baby she could hold the baby while I slept or got other things done.
    I also had a c-section, but didn't have any problems from that aspect of it.
    One thing that helped me was to feed the baby each time she cried/wanted it and that stopped any and all crying spells which we thought might be colic at several points they were so bad! But as soon as I fed her whenever she wanted or cried, the crying stopped. Now, to get more sleep at night, I feed her lying down and we both get more sleep. If you are a heavy sleeper, I don't recommend this though and also my poor husband and dog have been sleeping in the living room! As for painful nipples, I still have them because the baby has thrush, but I just nurse anyway because she needs it and I'm used to it so it doesn't bother me anymore. The pain for you should end if you just nurse through it.
    Good luck! It REALLY does get better and everyone goes through it. I have my own difficulties at this stage, but you too will get past the early days--just try to take it all in and enjoy your baby even when it seems hopeless!

  3. #13
    Join Date
    Apr 2008

    Default Re: New Mom, Help!

    Hang in there and ask for help! I learned after recovering from my C that I can never do it all. And no one expects me to. I also can't tell you how much I need to be around other women. I was a "loner" and until I went nuts one day and had a sobbing fit unexpectedly, I would not bother to ask for help or call anyone. I joined a BF group. Not only do I get support for bf, we compare what works for all sorts of issues and we help each other out. Everyone needs a break. At our group we snack, chat, hold each other's babies and it is ok to walk away for a few minutes and let someone else care for the baby while you take a breather.

    Aside from that, I take walks with the baby and sit while people I know fawn. I have my coffee, some adult conversation and a break from rocking, holding or feeding her. I also pump so every couple of days I leave the house and hubby takes care of her while I go to the grocery mart or sit at a cafe and read.

    I am sure once you have enough support in place, a large part of what you are feeling will pass.

  4. #14
    Join Date
    Mar 2008

    Default Re: New Mom, Help!

    As everyone has said, what you are feeling is so common and normal and overwhelming. I have a LO who is now almost six months old.

    What really helped me in those early days was to totally give myself over to the idea that my one and only job for the first 4-6 weeks was to take care of LO and try to get rest when I could. I was never one who found it easy to "sleep when the baby sleeps" - I actually thought that piece of advice was sort of a joke for me. What if he fell asleep in the kitchen bouncy seat or the carrier in the bathroom - I was too afraid to leave him there and go lay on the couch, and other such situations. Therefore my way of getting "rest" was to let everything fall by the wayside except for taking care of LO, which of course still is hard work in and of itself.

    This is what you SHOULD be doing right now! Nursing all the time, getting your milk supply established, making sure BF is going well, and getting to know LO and tending to his every need, and ENJOYING him. I know it is really overwhelming. I'm sure you don't need another person telling you to enjoy this because it passes so quickly, but it really is true. When you start feeling like it's so boring or mundane or miserable, try to step back and just realize that you are his whole universe right now - and you are giving him the very best by BF as long as possible. Try to focus on being present in the moment of whatever you are doing, whether it be nursing or changing a diaper. It really WILL pass by so quickly and then you will be reading all the forums about how to start solids and you won't believe where the time went!

    We had major issues with LO having his days and nights mixed up. He would be wide awake and wanting to be cuddle for hours in the middle of the night. There's no doubt about it, that really sucks when all you want is two consecutive hours of sleep. But it WILL pass, you just have to get through it and try to look on the bright side.

    The website www.kellymom.com is excellent and is referred to many times on this forum. It really helped me to know what is considered normal for BF and I still go there to get answers to questions as they come up.

    Also try to remember that breastfed babies are not the same as formula fed babies. BF babies may want/need to eat seemingly all the time initially and this is normal as long as wet/poopy diapers and growth are normal.

    It also really helped me to realize that for at least the first four months, I should not even try to get LO on any type of routine or schedule, that it was OKAY for him to feed totally on demand and let him sleep when he wanted. None of the sleep books I've read advocate any sort of "sleep training" before the age of four months. That helped decrease my stress by knowing that I just had to go with the flow and not even try to worry about routines or schedules at all initially.

    I loved going to LLL meetings - being there seeing all the other moms BF and hearing all their issues and problems made me realize I was not alone and decreased my stress level immensely.

    Just also wanted to pass along that although I did not have a C-section, I did have a long, exhausting, traumatic vaginal birth with a bad tear. I did not feel one bit better than than the day I came home from the hospital until LO was over 3 weeks old. I did not have the energy to even leave the house except for brief grocery runs for about 6-8 weeks. That part will get better, just hang in there and get as much rest as possible.

    You're doing great - keep up the good work!
    Last edited by sweetpeasmommy; May 16th, 2008 at 05:31 PM.

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