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Thread: New Mom, Help!

  1. #1
    Join Date
    May 2008

    Default New Mom, Help!

    Hello Everyone,
    I have a new little boy that was born on 4/27/08 and he was 7lbs. 11ozs. I guess I didn't know how hard BF was going to be added with the pain of a c-section and never getting any sleep. I did not realize how hard caring for a newborn was going to be!! I was just wondering how everyone else is so successful in caring for their newborn. I love my baby sooooo much but I'm wondering if I'll ever be able to function normally again. I feel like everyday is the same day over and over again. It is getting really tiring and my husband goes back to work next week and he is such a huge help. I guess I'm in a panic because I'm not sure how I'm going to care for my new baby by myself without him. I'm going to a LLLI meeting next week and hopefully will be able to talk with other moms about all of this. I guess I just need some insight on how to deal with all of this.

    New Mom to Collin Matthew 7lbs 11ozs

    Breastfeeding for 2 1/2 weeks now!!!

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Jan 2006

    Default Re: New Mom, Help!

    and congratulations on your new arrival!

    The keys to surviving the newborn stage are: Eating nutritiously, drinking to thirst, sleeping when baby sleeps, skin to skin contact with baby before nursing, accepting help when it is offered (let someone else vacuum or wash the clothes!), and knowing that you're going to be nursing a lot and being prepared (set up a station with your water, some snacks, remote, diapers, wipes, extra blanket, phone, etc so all you have to do is veg out and feed your baby). Beyond that, the most important thing is support. Surround yourself with people who support you and your nursing goals.

    This is a great resource that discusses what to expect the early weeks:


  3. #3
    Join Date
    Apr 2008

    Default Re: New Mom, Help!

    You are doing great!! It is hard at first! Being tired makes everything feel so overwhelming. All mom's have been there - even those mom's that seem to have it all under control have had their days (weeks). Take one day - one feeding at a time! Sleep whenever your little one does (is this your first?) and don't worry about anything else but taking care of you and your LO. Usually by weeks 4-6, things seem a lot better. I know that if I can just get some sleep (2-3 hours), I always feel better.

    Hang out at this site - it is a great place for encouragement and support. You will also find that many other mothers are going through the same things - it is always nice to know that you are not alone. Also, the LLL meeting will be a great place for encouragement too! Just remember that you are doing a wonderful thing for your LO and that YOU CAN do it!!
    -ing Mom to:
    Breanna 2/26/02 BF 2 months
    Bailey 9/19/05 BF 6 months
    Brayden 4/3/08 BF 4 months and counting

    I love this site!!
    's to all the Mommies out there

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Nov 2006
    miles from nowhere

    Default Re: New Mom, Help!

    I definitely remember having the exact same feelings. Don't worry, mama, you can do this. It can be completely overwhelming at first, and if you had a c-section the pain of recovery and unability to do simple things (like sitting up, even) can make it seem extra difficult. But you should be getting a lot better soon from the surgery. I think it took me about 3 weeks before I started feeling normal again, not that I was completely recovered, but I didn't feel like a total invalid.

    You will feel normal again, I promise. Every day probably is the same right now, but it does get better. Your little baby will start to be more interactive and responsive to you, you'll get better at nursing, you'll start to get the courage to maybe leave the house for short periods of time (- for me, anyway, I holed up for nearly a month!). This time seems like it is passing really slowly right now, but you'll look back on it in a few months and wonder where all that time went!

    If you're not quite feeling up to being by yourself when your hubby goes back to work is there someone who can come help? Someone willing to do the crap jobs like dishes, laundry, etc while you sit and relax with baby? Someone willing to leave when you get tired of them being there?

    Let me just say congratulations on becoming a mommy!! and good for you for choosing to breastfeed. It can be difficult at first, but it gets sooooo much better and is so worth it in the long run!!
    “We are not put on earth for ourselves, but are placed here for each other. If you are there always for others, then in time of need, someone will be there for you.”

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Jul 2006
    Oh FFS!

    Default Re: New Mom, Help!

    Congratulations on your LO!

    It does get better and you are in the throes of it right now. Take it one day at a time. Set small goals for yourself. Here's what I did:

    I took a shower, daily (didn't matter when but it made me feel human). I left the house, even if it was just a walk around the block.

    Go to the LLL meeting if you can swing it. It's so important to see other moms, both who are at your early timeline in their nursing relationship and others who have passed and are still successful.

    Have a plan in place with your DH for when he is back at work. Talk and decide what he will able to help you with once he's home for the day. Maybe taking the baby so you can take a shower or make dinner or him making dinner). Just have something in place even if it changes once you get into the swing of things. Things will look up. The light got brighter once I reached, 3 weeks, then 6 weeks, then 3 Months, then 4 months. It's a gradually thing but it got better and better. It WILL get better.

    Mama to my little Diva: Miss K (7/15/06)
    And her little sister: Lulu Pie (3/21/09)

    "Don't toush da mango"
    One-handed typer Extraordinaire!
    My body creates, houses, nurtures and nourishes life. That is awesome.
    Kegel Kop says: TIGHTEN UP!

  6. #6
    Join Date
    May 2008

    Default Re: New Mom, Help!

    i remmember getting cabin fever at about two weeks. but it was cold and i was stuck inside for a whole month.
    i would wake up hungry, but ds would be nursing for 45 min, so i would be stuck in bed. so have dh have a snack ready for you.
    also, nursing pillow called Breast friend was a life saver, because it wraps around you with snaps, ds would lie on it and nurse, and i could support him with one hand and have the other hand free, and be somewhat mobile.
    you are your baby's whole world eventhough she can't tell you. be there for here. it will get better, everone says that and it is true.
    sleep with your baby with your bra off, they learn to latch on pretty quickly by themselves, barely waking you up

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Feb 2008

    Default Re: New Mom, Help!

    Mama! I totally hear you! I can't tell you how many times I cried or broke down those first 2 months. I also had a c section and my DH stayed with me for 2 weeks. My mom did help for 5 days after that but let's just say she's not a warm fuzzy person.

    I remember the first morning DH walked out the door to work and left me alone with DS, I was like "What the hell am I supposed to do now" I didn't have the super love hormones yet and I thought I wouldn't make it alone for an hour let alone a day.

    Here's what I did. I printed up a calendar and schedule at least one thing to do everyday. Sometimes it was going to the grocery store to get applesauce, but It was something I looked forward to doing that day. I am (or was) not a baby person so I needed activities other than, staring at the baby. By the time we got moving, dressed and out to the errand I ususally felt okay. Then back home and when DH walked through the door I swear I've never been so happy to see someone...ever!

    I also had a HORRIBLE time BF at first, cracked bleeding nipples, thrush, etc. Oh yeah, I also put myself out there like, a friend of a friend had a baby the day after DS and I cold called her to see if she wanted to talk a walk one morning, etc.

    It will end, BF will get easier (now I wouldn't give it up for anything), you will make it through this, your body will heal, you are never alone in this!

    Sorry so long winded!
    Mommy to Maxwell 10-9-07 weaned with love (a party and a remote control monster truck) on his 4th birthday
    My Boy 3-16-10
    And my sweet pea Sam 2-12-11

    Watch Your Language

  8. #8
    Join Date
    May 2008

    Default Re: New Mom, Help!

    Oh my gosh-I could have written your post 3 years ago. Now I have a 3 1/2 year old and a new daughter (4/24/08 7lbs 15oz).

    I was so overwhelmed by parenthood. I didn't know what to do with my newborn daughter. I felt like a zombie from the lack of sleep and wondered how I'd survive each day, and how/why people continued to have kids if it was this hard. But the good news is I survived and you will too!!

    You need to find a schedule that works for you. Sleep when you can and let others help you. Ask a neighbor to run to the store to grab bread, diapers or whatever you need. Something that made me feel better was accomplishing one thing for the day-maybe unloading the dishwasher or taking a walk. Some days we did 5 things, other days just doing 1 thing was plenty.

    Do you have any friends with kids or mommy groups that you could join?? Just talking to other moms helped me know I was not alone in the day to day struggles.

    Hang in there, you and your new son are both learning!

  9. #9
    Join Date
    May 2008

    Default Re: New Mom, Help!

    I'm not far from your experience and am still on the newborn learning curve. The main htings to remember are to take care of yourself physically (plenty of water, nutritious meals, sleeping) and to let the non-essential things go. The most important thing right now is to care for your LO and to establish your milk supply.

    I had a c-section, too, so the recovery process, the pain meds, and the physical limitations are added difficulties to bringing home the baby. It does get better! Just accept that there are going to be some nights when you are exhausted, when you can't imagine getting up one more time to breastfeed. Then, tell yourself that this, too, will pass. Your body is demanding a lot from you right now in terms of recovery, so accept any help that you can and don't push yourself too far. If putting the clothes in the dryer is as far as you get and they don't get folded for a few days, no biggie! Just wear them out of the hamper.

    Hang in there. It's a learning process...you learning to be the mom and your LO learning to breastfeed, too.
    Mom to Anna, March 28, 2008

  10. #10
    Join Date
    Aug 2006

    Default Re: New Mom, Help!

    The pp had some great ideas. I think most of us have been there. The overwhelming time really does end eventually, but you're right, now it seems like each day is an eternity in and of itself.

    One thing I found helpful when DH went back to work was that we was able to work some half days, then he came home for lunch for a few more days. It really helped to know he would be there even for a little while during the day.
    DS 1/2006 9 lb. 2 oz. 22 in.
    DD 10/2008 8 lb, 2 oz. 20 in.

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