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Thread: Child-led Night Weaning?

  1. #11
    Join Date
    Feb 2007
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    MollyWeasleyIsMyHeroVille
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    Default Re: Child-led Night Weaning?

    Im in almost the exact same boat as you! Only difference is that my dh doesnt help at night. We tried a modified method of the dr. jay one, I couldn't make him go THAT long to start out with either. He goes to bed between 8 and 9 pm and I always tell him, no more milk until 2:30. I know he doesn't understand 2:30 yet (he's 16 months old on the 19th), but I tell him anyways. Some nights he makes it most nights he doesn't. I can't just cuddle and love him either, if he fusses for more than 5 mintues (unless i'm in a determined mood he'll go for 10) then he gets to nurse. I can't do it, DH says i need to just 'put it away and tell him no' but he doesn't understand it's not always that easy!

    I'm not giving up on night weaning, but I'm trying to suck it up and not force him either.


    ~Meg~
    Wife to Ray (09/07/07)and Mama to:
    Xander (01/19/07) nursed for 30 months
    Liam (12/12/09) still nursing through the night and in the mornings!
    Sebastian (7/29/12) my newest little nursling who graciously shares his milk with big brother!


  2. #12
    Join Date
    Aug 2007
    Posts
    125

    Default Re: Child-led Night Weaning?

    I'm in a very similar situation as you are. Ali's almost a year old, but still getting up 3, 4 and even 5 times to nurse in the middle of the night and I'm exhausted! I tried offering her more nursing sessions during the day but she doesn't want it. We do not co-sleep and I put Ali down awake after nursing. When Ali does wake up in the middle of the night, my DH can not console her. She only wants to nurse and she nurses until she's satisfied. The wierd thing is.. Ali has stayed at my Mom's over night twice recently. Both times she has slept through the whole night! I'm jealous!

    Last night when she awoke after an hour of being asleep...I tried offering her water in her sippie cup and she took a couple of sips. When I tried leaving the room, she screamed and cried so hard that she lost her breath. I can't handle that. It just breaks my heart. I gave in and finally nursed her even though she had a good nursing session an hour earlier. I always give her the breast when she wants it. And not giving it to her when she is used to getting it will be traumatizing to her and I'm not ready to handle that yet.

    I feel for what you are going through and much 's to you!

    SAHM to Ali born on Memorial Day, May 28, 2007
    3 weeks early and weighed 6 pounds 6 ounces
    Ali weighs 17 pounds 10 ounces at 12.5 months old


  3. #13
    Join Date
    Nov 2007
    Posts
    213

    Default Re: Child-led Night Weaning?

    Quote Originally Posted by eireann_83 View Post
    The wierd thing is.. Ali has stayed at my Mom's over night twice recently. Both times she has slept through the whole night! I'm jealous!

    !
    That's happened to me too! She knows when I'm around *SIGH*
    Last edited by tamarama; May 14th, 2008 at 11:11 AM.

  4. #14
    Join Date
    Dec 2006
    Posts
    219

    Default Re: Child-led Night Weaning?

    to you, and I'm glad you posted this, because I was just about to do so!

    My dd will be two next month, and lately not only has she been frequently night nursing, but night waking as well, asking to go downstairs to the couch, or read a story, or watch a show .

    I've done a lot of research on night weaning, but because of her crying and begging for yum yums, have been hesitant to "push" her to that point. I'm still on the fence, and although 8 hours of sleep sounds wonderful. . .the crying and sleep deprivation it would cause to get there still scares me.

    My mom is coming for a visit, and my ds loves to sleep with her/in her room (he still co-sleeps and he's going to be 4 next week). When she leaves, we are going to have that be "his" new room. . .and I'll be helping him with that transition. . .and dh will be rocking dd to sleep. . .we'll see what happens in the middle of the night.

    again to you and trying to make this a smooth transition for your little one!
    Cloth Diapering & Family, SAHMomma to Joel (5/04) and & to Hannah (6/06) and devoted wife to Joel

  5. #15
    Join Date
    Oct 2006
    Posts
    11

    Default Re: Child-led Night Weaning?

    My DD is 22 months and for the past couple months has been gradually reducing the number of times she wakes at night (we cosleep), at which time she wants to nurse back to sleep. Prior to this, she was waking (still) every few hours and latching on for what felt like forever which was taking a toll on me since I work full-time. I skimmed parts of Elizabeth Pantley's book and Dr. Sears and decided to try setting a certain time frame during which nursing was done for the day. So from 11 pm to 5 am if she woke and wanted to nurse, I covered myself up tight and rolled away. I thought I'd try patting her back, or singing quietly to her, or having my husband rock her. But in the end, I found if I just made nursing inaccessible she cried for less than a minute then laid back down, squirmed around, then went back to sleep within minutes. I was and still am, shocked! I don't follow the timeframe very strictly now; just depends on how tired I am if I allow her to nurse or not. But I love knowing that she is capable of getting back to sleep without nursing.

    I haven't moved on to full weaning or night weaning yet since where we're at is working fine for our family now, but I think this shows there are options.

  6. #16
    Join Date
    Oct 2006
    Posts
    1,048

    Default Re: Child-led Night Weaning?

    my ds is 26 months, goes to bed around 8 and wakes up at 12:30, 3:30 and 5:30....this has pretty much always been his schedule and i adapted...then all of the sudden i couldnt sleep while he nursed....i find myself wide awake the whole time, and was shocked how long it actually was!
    my goal is to nightwean him....he understands about the sun coming up but thinks im kidding he knows "'other side' doesnt go nanight" and ive never been able to handle that heartwrenching type of crying
    i figure if he cant put himself to sleep to start off he will never do it during the night....so that was our first step and it went really well (i made another post about it)
    now we do alot of talking in the middle of the night...when he starts nursing i tell him a bunch of things about why it will only be for a little bit.....most times he will nurse pretty quick and when i tell him i want to roll over he just rolls over himself
    i think if i had tried these things at 16 months i would have gotten some more opposition, but i could be totally wrong.....
    i think it all has to do with how you feel inside about his reaction....do you get that pang in your heart like its really sad for him when you try something new, or is it more of an overtired 'brat' cry....if its the first one, imo id try again in a couple of months
    ~To the world you might be one person, but to one person you might be the world~

  7. #17
    Join Date
    Jul 2007
    Posts
    960

    Default Re: Child-led Night Weaning?

    thanks for posting this. No advice. In the same boat. My daughter is almost 14 months and is a night nursing addict. Some nights Im ok with it and others im dead tired. Good to know that at somepoint it gets better.
    My little May baby just turned THE BIG ONE!
    Formally known as kaykate23

  8. #18
    Join Date
    Feb 2006
    Posts
    436

    Default Re: Child-led Night Weaning?

    We decided to night-wean at about 26 months, after I decided I just desperately needed the sleep. We adapted the Dr. Jay Gordon method. First we decided he could nurse at bedtime and then again when I went to bed (usually 11-12), and then no more nursing until 6:00am. The first couple of nights were very rough, but it worked pretty much like the method described. We told him that he couldn't nurse while it was dark in the room (when he goes to sleep, we leave one of the lights on until we go to bed). Then when he woke and wanted to nurse after that, I held him while he cried and struggled, just explaining over and over again that nighttime is for sleeping and that there's no nu-nu when it's dark and he can have nu-nu again later when it was light. Of course, that was February, so it was still dark at 6am. I also offered him water. After crying angrily for what seemed like ages, he finally relaxed as I rocked him and then went back to sleep. We had a couple of bad nights like that, and then he started sleeping longer stretches, and going back to sleep more easily when he woke and I told him no. Eventually, he was making it most of that whole stretch, and we noticed that he was sleeping better in the early evening as well. We dropped the 11-12 nursing soon afterwards, since I was actually having to wake him up for it, and we found he could make it all the way through until morning.

    The problem we had was that as spring approached, it got lighter earlier! We didn't think of that. That meant he wanted to nurse more like 5am. We had some early morning struggles while I insisted that he had to wait until 6am. Now I'm a bit more flexible, especially since I've found that if I nurse him earlier, he's more likely to go back to sleep! So sometimes I nurse abour 5:30 and again at 8am, sometimes only once around 7am, it depends on the morning. We're still nursing at bedtime as well. But I have so little milk left at this point that I may try to wean him from one or both of the nursings soon.

    Anyway, you might try the Dr. Jay Gordon method, I think it works well with toddlers if done lovingly and firmly, adapted to your situation. Here's the link:
    http://www.drjaygordon.com/development/ap/sleep.asp
    Annie
    Mama to Jeremy Daniel (12/10/2005)


    I'm a late cloth convert...and you? :tumbsup

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