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Thread: Will she hate me

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Aug 2007
    Posts
    53

    Default Will she hate me

    Hi my lo is 9 months old and i want to wean her a 1 year. I am skeptical bc i dont want her to hate me. I also dont want to loose that bond. So my question to you is will she hate me and will she still love me as much.

    P.S i want to stop at 1 year


    Please help


  2. #2
    Join Date
    Feb 2008
    Posts
    139

    Default Re: Will she hate me

    As long as you are loving her and meeting her needs, she won't hate you. You have plenty of time to help transition her to drinking from a cup or bottle so she can take milk. The hardest part for her to give up may be the comfort. Why is it that you want to wean at a year specifically?

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Dec 2006
    Posts
    9,280

    Default Re: Will she hate me

    She won't hate you. But keep in mind, nursing at one year is a lot different than nursing a younger baby, even a 9 month old. Nursing is not an all or nothing thing. If you feel like you need to set limits at one year, thats okay too. Being gentle with both you and your daughter's feelings is going to be very important as you begin the weaning process.
    Lyn
    Nursing the girl with kaleidoscope eyes


    Mama to Daniel (12/3/06) and Lucy Jane (8/28/08)

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Jan 2008
    Posts
    17

    Default Re: Will she hate me

    I agree that as long as you are meeting your childs need she will love you always. I was kind of like you at first... sure that at 1 year old we would stop bfeeding. My son is now 13 months old and I cant imagine stoping at this point. Not only is he not ready but I dont think I am either. I would not be so quick to set dates if you dont have too. You never know how you will feel when your baby actually is 1 year. You may still want to continue.

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Aug 2006
    Posts
    185

    Default Re: Will she hate me

    No, there's no way your child would ever hate you, so don't even worry about that. A YEAR of breastmilk is awesome and so much more than most babies ever get. You can always be proud of that wonderful gift you gave your baby.
    Now, she might react negatively to a very aggressive weaning regimine, but that doesn't mean she hates you. Just that she's protesting what she sees as a denial of her needs/wants. You will need to replace those nursings with extra mommy time spent cuddling and playing so she doesn't feel like her "special" mommy time and closeness is being taken away along with her nursings. That can help to mitigate any negative reactions she may have.
    When you say you want to wean at 1 year, do you mean you want to be totally weaned at one year OR begin the weaning process at one year? How long do you envision the whole process of weaning?
    As for a "weaning plan," it depends on how often your daughter nurses and how much solids she is eating. I'd recommend checking out some books on weaning. The Womanly Art of Breastfeeding has a section on weaning as well as a publication called "How Weaning Happens."
    When doing mother-led weaning, a gradual approach is said to be best. Both for you and baby. That way your body slowly adjusts and gradually your supply will go down - avoid painful breasts and mastitis. And your daughter isn't overwhelmed or feeling rejected. Dropping one feeding at a time with at least a few days in between is a good way to go. Usually the bedtime nursing is the last one to go, so keep that in mind. And remember to always replace the nursing with something else like a special drink/snack/book/activity while cuddling on your lap or having your undivided attention. That way you and she are still being connected and having closeness without nursing.
    Also, I think it's good to evaluate how you and baby are feeling at each step of the way during nursing. If you get your nursings down to 1 or 2 a day and feel comfortable with, you can maintain that for as long as you both want to. So, don't think that it's an "all or nothing" kind of thing. Remaining flexible and in tune with you and your baby's feelings and needs will allow you to cater your weaning journey to your situation.
    Good luck and congrats on giving your baby the wonderful gift of a year of nursing!
    Last edited by LaurasMom; May 9th, 2008 at 08:57 PM.
    Erin
    Mom to Laura (3/1/06)

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Aug 2007
    Posts
    53

    Default Re: Will she hate me

    I love bf and i dont want to quit my lo is only on bm and she occasially eats what mommy eats as far as solids go but the reason i want to stop is bc of my family they seem to think weirdly of bf after 1 my husband dosnt but they do and i dont know how to change their minds or even begin to.

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Dec 2006
    Posts
    9,280

    Default Re: Will she hate me

    If you and your husband have no problem with it, why should it matter what your family thinks? That is their insecurity and ignorance. When they see how healthy, happy, and well-adjusted your DD is perhaps they will change their minds?
    Lyn
    Nursing the girl with kaleidoscope eyes


    Mama to Daniel (12/3/06) and Lucy Jane (8/28/08)

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
    Location
    New Orleans, LA
    Posts
    5,036

    Default Re: Will she hate me

    If you are anything like the majority of mothers here who set out to nurse for one year, as soon as it arrives you are going to realize that it is too hard to say to the baby, "Happy Birthday, you can't have anymore."

    Mothering through breastfeeding is one of those decisions that needs to be left to the mother, IMO.

    If you want to stop b/c you are no longer comfortable..that's one thing. Don't let others bully you into ending something so valuable for you and that sweet baby of yours.
    Mother - Wife - Artist - Cook - Writer - EnvironMENTAList - Cloth Diaperer (but we are soooo done with diapers) - Organic Health Nut...I'm sure there's more.

    DD1 - 12/15/05 Breastfed for 16.5 months
    DD2 - 8/6/07 Breastfed for 3 whole years and 3 little, extra days.

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Jun 2007
    Posts
    354

    Default Re: Will she hate me

    Hi, No she will not hate you. You will always have a special bond because of nursing. I wanted to stop at 1 year but neither of us seem ready yet at 13 months.
    Isabella Grace 4/3/07, Elijah 6yrs, Logan 8yrs

  10. #10
    Join Date
    May 2007
    Posts
    1,864

    Default Re: Will she hate me

    If you and your husband are comfortable with it, that's the main thing. There will always be people who won't support your decisions, but it doesn't make the decisions theirs, know what I mean? Follow your heart on this.

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