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Thread: Need a hug....

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Nov 2007

    Default Need a hug....

    I am feeling like I want to run away. My LO is now 20 months old. I am finding it really hard to balance a career and care for my boy and the best mom i can be. I recently have started a new job which is both challenging and time consuming. I still pump once a day and finding time to do that is really a challenge. My LO is allergic to Dairy and soy and is still underweight so he still needs all the added nutrients of MM. Then I rush home, cook, we eat supper and he goes to bed at around 7pm or so. But the problem is he wakes up so much during the night, it used to be once or twice now it's about 5 to six times and this has been going on even before I started my new job. I am exhausted. We do co-sleep (he goes down in his crib to start with) then sleeps with us when we go to bed. I am finding that I am becoming short tempered and grumpy and I know it's because I am tired. Work also requires me to travel, I am pushing back saying that when I took the position I said I couldn't travel, the only solution would be to take LO with me with his caregiver (but that's a really expensive option as I would have to pay), I guess I am just feeling overwhelmed. I breastfeed when he wakes up throughout the night as it's the only way to get him back to sleep. I love my LO and want to be the best mother I can be to him, I just feel that I am not being that for him at the moment and I don't know what to do about it. My husband tries to help out where he can but he works even longer hours than me so it's not like he can make dinner or anything or goodness knows what time we would eat. Plus I try to go to bed as early as I can to try to get as much sleep as possible. This means that DH and I hardly spend time with each other and haven't been intimate in a long time.

    I don't know what to do to make this all better, but I really want to continue nursing and I know my son is not yet ready to wean. What advise can you guys give me. There's really no one I can talk apart from my DH, my family do not believe in co-sleeping and extended breastfeeding and if I complain they tell me that if I stopped both of those things he'd sleep through blah blah blah

    I guess I just need a bit of support to say this too shall pass and I will eventually get some sleep....

    Mother to Zayne 19/8/06 2.56kg

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Jan 2006

    Default Re: Need a hug....

    Oh yes, this will pass. I think my DS had a vocabulary spurt around 20 months and was waking up many times during the night. Now, at 30 months it is more like once or twice.

    I really admire you for continuing to pump this long. Good for you and your LO!!

    I am fighting the career battle too and don't have much advice. I've been trying to save time whereever I can, which is mostly getting dressed and making dinner. For both my outfits and our meals I have a bunch of (mostly) easy selections we rotate through. At least once a week I hand over responsibility for dinner to DH. I don't care if we have pizza or frozen pot pies for the second time that week as long as I don't have to think about it.

    You'll make it! It sounds like you are doing a super job to me.

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Jun 2007

    Default Re: Need a hug....

    I totally understand! I feel sometimes like I give 100% to my job, come home tired, so my family gets the leftover mommy! It's hard to balance everything. It'll get better....

    If not, then maybe it's time to talk with DH about you cutting back on work?

    Hi! I'm Shelley!
    Feeling like a and lovin' it!
    Cloth Diapering Convert

    Married DH 8/5/2000
    DS 2/25/03 Always making me laugh!
    DD 1/23/07 Loves to Breastfed 15 months with no end in sight!

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Jan 2008

    Default Re: Need a hug....

    I think your doing an awesome job with what you've been given.

    Whenever I think about things just getting too overwhelming or I question a decision I'm making, I think about 5 or 10 years in the future.
    Will what I'm doing right now make me proud in the future? Will I be happy we did this or did that? Just little things, I'm not talking about quitting work, because sometimes that's just not possible.
    I think you'd be proud of yourself for co-sleeping and giving your LO an "all night hug" or pumping for him because you know he needs your milk.

    This WILL pass mama, and you might even miss it just a tad bit
    LLL Leader

    Breastfeeding is an instinctual and natural act, but it is also an art that is learned day by day.

    Visit LLL of Ashburn PM's Blog!

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Jul 2007

    Default Re: Need a hug....

    First, give yourself the credit you are due! Yuo are doing a great job. We are not to 20 months yet but I have a lot of the same feelings and it's so hard. You feel like you can't win, but know that you are! You are providing so much for your child and he will be a stronger person because of you! I definately agree with someo f the above, but what has helped for me is having one night a week where I didn't worry about dinner, we have the exact same thing on Wednesday nights or take-out. It has helped immensly, who would have thought. Best of luck and keep reaching out! We are here!

    Mommy to Gabriel born 12/25/06 Breastfed 12/25/06 - 12/09 and possibly here and there still
    Madelyn born 9/24/09 delivered at home and caught by my husband

    "To put the world right in order, we must first put the nation in order; to put the nation in order, we must first put the family in order; to put the family in order, we must first cultivate our personal life; we must first set our hearts right."

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