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Thread: husband problems- help

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Jul 2007
    Posts
    11

    Default husband problems- help

    My baby is 11 and a half months and in the last several weeks I feel like things have completely deteriorated with my husband.

    1. We stopped watching tv around the baby which was more my choice than his but he agreed to it. The baby used to not look at it and be able to continue playing with it on, but she started staring at it. He loves tv and I think it is what he does to relax.

    2. The baby seems so much more attached to me than him lately even though he really tries. She cries when I give her to him in the morning after I am done nursing. they used to cuddle together at that time.

    He has become so irritable and we fight all of the time now. I got to go lo is crying.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Nov 2007
    Posts
    250

    Default Re: husband problems- help

    to you mamma! Having a lo is not easy. My son used to be very attached to me at that age and didn't want anything to do with Daddy, but now that he is 20 months old, he loves to spend time with dad playing and doing whatever. I think it's just a phase they go through and dad should not take it personally (although I know how much it hurts when your lo rejects you), maybe you could do some activities together, we often go out to child friendly venues, where they have jungle gyms and sand pits and I let daddy watch LO while he plays in there, they have bonded really well doing this (we started doing this around 12 months or so) - that way he gets to spend some time with LO and you get time to have a cup of coffee or whatever and have some time to relax. I use this time to phone my friends and catch up. HTH.


    Mother to Zayne 19/8/06 2.56kg


  3. #3
    Join Date
    Dec 2007
    Posts
    150

    Default Re: husband problems- help



    We had to turn the TV off, too, because LO was just staring at it at times. So, we set up a routine, 6:30 is dinner, 7 is bath, 7:30 is bedtime. We've been doing this routine since LO was about 6 months old and daddy does the whole routine. Daddy even bottles baby off to sleep at night. Although, there have been days when baby screamed through the whole thing (those were very few). I had to learn not to "rescue" them. Dad had the situation in hand and he could comfort the baby and handle everything. Now, the bedtime routine is strictly daddy time and they both love it.

    Maybe you should set up a strictly daddy time, like the morning time daddy and baby used to have. If baby screams, let dad handle it. You know he can and both people will be better off learning what works for each other. There were times when your LO was small and you didn't know what to do and the baby just cried at you, but you somehow worked through it and you're both better off because of it.

    Also, you may just want to leave and go out for a walk or a cup of coffee. And, of course, these are just my opinions.

    Good luck.
    Mom of 1, AJ born 4/12/07

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Apr 2008
    Posts
    7

    Default Re: husband problems- help

    My husband is the SAHD to our 20-month old little girl while I work four 10-hour days. They have a GREAT relationship and he is a wonderful father. They just play all day and sometimes nap together.

    But when I am around he might as well be dog poop. She wails when I try to go to the bathroom or take a shower. She freaks out when he takes her from the kitchen so I can finish my dinner. She throws a fit when he tries to take her downstairs on Saturday mornings so I can sleep in at least once. You get the idea.

    He knows not to take it personally, though you can see him struggling with it sometimes when they have such great fun together at other times. I agree that setting up some strict father/daughter time will help her see how much fun he is while scoring you some valuable YOU time. They can go for a walk or go to the playground, or go to a bakery and have a treat. Eventually she'll realize that daddy is fun too.

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Jan 2008
    Posts
    1,081

    Default Re: husband problems- help

    A few thougths...

    Her crying when he takes her in the morning - my daughter started doing that as well, but he just told our daughter she would see mommy in a little bit and she was o.k. with daddy. After a few minutes she would stop crying as he would get her interested in something else. Be persistent and trust that your husband can handle the situation. Boundaries are so important to the well-being of everyone in a family.

    As far as the tv goes, we had that issue in our house too - I don't like our daughter (16 months) watching tv so we compromised in that he goes to another room to watch the news and then we watch tv after she goes to bed. Maybe you and your husband could work something out so you both feel satisfied with the tv situation.

    And try to think of the big picture of life and remember these things will pass and try to focus on you and your husband getting along and building your relationship to how you want it to be in 5 or 10 years rather than these daily issues that arise.
    Mommy to:

    Emmalynn Marie
    Born at 37 weeks on 12/22/06
    5lbs 1oz 19 1/2in

    Owen Charles
    Born at 29 wks 6 days on 01/17/09
    2lbs 14oz 15in
    In NICU for 2 months


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