I just returned home yesterday from the hospital with our first baby. I had a few problems and the baby had a few problems so we were in there for about 5 days. They induced labor and then tried to give me an epidural (sp?). They tried three times and gave up because the guy kept getting into spinal fluid or something - I am a little lost on the details. After the third try he said he would have to give me a spinal shot or something. I was a little dopey from the newban they gave me for pain so I don't remember many details. They gave me two of those and wouldn't give me anything after I started pushing. Long story short I pushed for two and half hours - have stitches in places I don't even want to think about and I don't really remember the next two days.
I wanted to breastfeed but they gave the baby bottles while I was out of it. When I started trying to breastfeed I had a lot of problems getting her to stay awake to feed and also latching on. I guess those two problems are normal. The nurses were great but they all had a way of doing their own thing. They told me not to hold her in a craddle position (which was easier on both of us it seemed) and to hold her like a football. The baby didn't like it and I didn't like it. Then I had to wear these shells of some sort because I guess I am not set up right to breastfeed. Now when I try to breast feed I have so much pain that it literally makes me cry. The nurses keep telling me it will get better but so far it has gotten worse. They gave me a pump to use at the hospital and I would pump for 20 minutes and get barely 2 cc's of anything. The baby wouldn't use the bathroom and they said I needed to make sure she had so many dirty diapers per day. I finally broke down and gave her formula because I didn't want to make her sick.
With everything going on I have fed her formula mostly and breastfed her maybe twice. Would I be wrong to get a pump and just use bottles to give her breast milk? The nurse told me I would produce what she needed but I can't tell if I am starving her or not. She kept losing weight at the hospital but they said it was fine - she went from 8lbs 5oz to 7lbs 11 oz.
I am so lost on this stuff. I don't want to feed her formula. I want her to be healthy. I am in a lot of pain when I try to feed her. What should I do?