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Thread: So stressed and confused

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Mar 2008
    Posts
    204

    Unhappy So stressed and confused

    So the time is coming for me to decide what to do about going back to work. I need help... here is our situation.... sorry for the length.

    My bf and I are living with my mom and plan to stay here for a while. He makes fairly good money, but his income every month = his bills every month. We are crazy in debt (me, about 6 grand in credit cards; him, about 15 grand in credit cards and 30 in trucks), we know we made stupid decisions about debt and since moving in with my mom in jan, I am proud to say neither of us has put anything on credit! Ok so, because he does make good money, we don't qualify for daycare assistance from the county. Here are my options for going back to work

    1. There is a summer job that I could work at for July & August. It is closer to home and I could work nights and weekends, therefore I wouldn't have to pay DC. But... my lo has super cranky nights and as selfish as it is, I like to be the one to comfort her. Also, my bf is really not good at calming her down, he gets more worked up than she does. My mom would be completely willing to take care of her, but she doesn't get along with my bf, therefore making the evenings very akward and most likely wouldn't work.

    2. I could go back to the job I was at before maternity leave. I love it there (a daycare), and miss it so much! It is farther from home though. And the problem is DC for DD. If I brought her there, I would only bring home $80 a week for working 40 hours. This is hardly enough to cover my gas, let alone my bills. I only need to make about $400 a month, but that is with saving nothing. For the summer, my sister will be home and will be willing to watch her, so I think personally that this is the better plan.

    But then in the fall we have a whole nother issue. I am planning to go back to school full time. Which will be 2 and a half days a week. There is a DC at the school, and they roll the tuition for the DC into your tuition for school, so you can take a loan out on it. This is great, but I still need to bring in the $400 a month. So I could work 2 and a half days, but I have no idea for DC. I could take out a student loan to cover my bills also, but that just puts me farther into debt. I have no idea what to do. And I am so tired of stressing over it and having it constantly on my mind. It is killing me. Sorry to vent! But any ideas??

    Loving being a first time mom to Mia Lynn! Born 2/26/08!!

    At birth:8 lbs
    Coming home: 7 lbs 6 oz
    1 month- 9 lbs 12 oz
    8 wks- 11 lbs 6 oz
    3.5 mos- 13 lbs 4 oz
    5.5 mos- 17 lbs 2 oz
    10 mos- ~20 lbs

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Jun 2006
    Location
    Not around here as much :(
    Posts
    12,132

    Default Re: So stressed and confused

    #1 get the book Total Money Makeover by Dave Ramsey ASAP

    #2 after you read it get back to us and see if you still think you need to go back to work asap.


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  3. #3
    Join Date
    Mar 2006
    Posts
    8,591

    Default Re: So stressed and confused

    I'm sort of there with you. I took an extended leave and I need to decide soon what we are going to do. I have until the first of June, which seemed like a long time but is getting here all to quickly. Frankly, the fact that we have made it this long without going any further into debt makes me lean toward staying at home, and finding a parttime job doing something else next fall. Dh's business is doing great, so his second job is working out really well, I cook all our meals from scratch and its healthier, and the kids are getting awesome one-on-one time with their mama. But I make and bring home A LOT, so its a heartwrenching decision for me.

    Erin
    Wife to a grizzly
    Mama to my little deer (12/05) my loving bear cub (9/07--), and our little tiger (3/22/10)
    Born by one c-section and 2 amazing VBACs


    Miles in 2012: 350.5/900 (Actual Miles Ran: 189)
    Miles in 2011: 708.5 (Actual Miles Ran: 509)
    Miles in 2010: 800.5 (Actual Miles Ran: 620)

    January Miles: 37.5/75
    February Miles: 59/75
    March Miles: 42.5/60
    April Miles: 64
    May Miles: 41/70
    June Miles: 59
    July Miles: 39.5

    227.5 miles on my new shoes
    338 miles on my old shoes

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Mar 2006
    Posts
    8,591

    Default Re: So stressed and confused

    Oh, and I second the book recommended by the pp!!! Its awesome, and while he totally promotes working more, he also promotes that it be by the breadwinner, and that one parent stays home, if at all possible!!!

    Erin
    Wife to a grizzly
    Mama to my little deer (12/05) my loving bear cub (9/07--), and our little tiger (3/22/10)
    Born by one c-section and 2 amazing VBACs


    Miles in 2012: 350.5/900 (Actual Miles Ran: 189)
    Miles in 2011: 708.5 (Actual Miles Ran: 509)
    Miles in 2010: 800.5 (Actual Miles Ran: 620)

    January Miles: 37.5/75
    February Miles: 59/75
    March Miles: 42.5/60
    April Miles: 64
    May Miles: 41/70
    June Miles: 59
    July Miles: 39.5

    227.5 miles on my new shoes
    338 miles on my old shoes

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