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Thread: Passing Down Bad Habits

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Apr 2008
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    6

    Default Passing Down Bad Habits

    This is going to sound so crazy, but my mother has really gotten in my head about this and I need some advice.

    I have a three year old that I am still breast feeding. We were planning on stopping when he got to be four, but that is still several months off. As I'm sure some of you know, at three years old they are plenty aware of the world around them and this is where my problems begin.

    My husband is into the Ultimate Fighting Championship (or MMA as he and his buddies call it). Whenever there is a big event on TV they all come over to our house and order it on pay per view. That is not the bad thing in and of itself, but our house is small and I have nowhere to go so I end up breastfeeding our three year old right there in front of the TV. My son is observant enough to know what is going on and my mom is fearful that these half dressed women, violence, and foul language will be passed on to his young, impressionable mind.

    When I talk to my husband about this, all he can say is "Don't you realize that Matt Serra is going to beat up GSP this weekend and now is not the time to have this conversation!" He says it so emphatically I'm afraid to push the issue. He gets so riled up about the USA vs. Canada thing that he refuses to listen to reason and refuses to see that it might not be a good environment for our son.

    He swears up and down that our son will do this UFC thing one day and it is better to get him cheering for it early on. I wouldn't mind if our son took up the sport one day because I enjoy it too (even if I think GSP is going to win!), but my mom has me worried that I may be exposing my son to too much, too soon.

    How can I more effectively communicate my fears and make my husband see my (my mom's) point of view, or am I crazy to think about the impression it could leave on him?

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Jun 2006
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    Default Re: Passing Down Bad Habits



    If it's not your POV I wouldn't bother talking it over with my hubby. You two can work out what is proper and appropriate for your family

    If it was something you actually were worried about, I would talk to him when it's not on the TV, but another family time, like on a walk or at the dinner table

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  3. #3
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
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    Default Re: Passing Down Bad Habits

    could you go out when its on?????
    I think I might take my kids out and go to the indoor playground or something else just to give my hubby some alone friend time.

  4. #4
    Join Date
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    Default Re: Passing Down Bad Habits

    Quote Originally Posted by andrea_ohio View Post
    could you go out when its on?????
    I think I might take my kids out and go to the indoor playground or something else just to give my hubby some alone friend time.
    Me too. But I also agree with PP that if YOU are not concerned then thank your mother for her interest. You have taken her opinion into consideration and discussed it with DH but are not ready to make any changes at this point.

    L e i l a, married to hubby, loving our "bock-ee" kinda girl, 6.23.06
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  5. #5
    Join Date
    Apr 2008
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    Default Re: Passing Down Bad Habits

    Well, I am concerned. I obviously want to do what is right for my family. Leaving isn't the best option for two reasons:
    1) These fights generally come on late a night so my options would be limited on where I could go; and
    2) I really like watching them myself.

    The UFC is the premiere fight league in the nation and I really enjoy the action. These are true athletes competing at a high level and I admire their skill and intensity. I just don't want to warp my child somehow. I'm not willing to skip a feeding and really don't know how to accommodate everyone. I understand that my mom is just concerned. Do yall think if she watched the fights with me, my husband, and his friends she might see his POV?
    Last edited by CJJScout; April 14th, 2008 at 02:00 PM.

  6. #6
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    Jan 2006
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    Default Re: Passing Down Bad Habits

    maybe your mom would be willing to watch toddler?
    then you could watch the hights with hubby?

  7. #7
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    Apr 2008
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    6

    Default Re: Passing Down Bad Habits

    Quote Originally Posted by andrea_ohio View Post
    maybe your mom would be willing to watch toddler?
    then you could watch the hights with hubby?
    That isn't a bad idea. I really enjoy watching the fights and would hate to give that up. Apparently a lot of women are getting into the sport now and they actually have women that fight. I don't want to fight, but I love the sport.

    Any other women here watch the UFC? Am I totally off base and overreacting about the whole thing?

  8. #8
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    Apr 2008
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    Default Re: Passing Down Bad Habits

    ttt for advice.

  9. #9
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    Mar 2006
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    Default Re: Passing Down Bad Habits

    I think it is horribly violent, but my dh LOVES it. He is a champion wrestler and fighter and thinks its awesome. I don't mind watching it, I do sometimes enjoy it, but i don't want my kids watching it at a young age. My reason is that I think when they are young its hard for them to discern the difference between reality and play, and until they can, I want them to play nice. I won't keep them from watching it into eternity, nor will I fight with dh about whether or not ds will wrestle (he will, if he wants to), but for now I want to keep them innocent.

    But its your choice--not your mother's, kwim?

    Erin
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  10. #10
    Join Date
    Feb 2007
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    Default Re: Passing Down Bad Habits

    My DH has been practicing MMA and watching (myself included) UFC for many many years. We have even been to a couple of live events. My DS is 16 months and my husband and I already agreed that we do not want our son watching UFC at all until he is at an appropriate age....maybe that age is 10, 11 or above or maybe not at all? I have no idea yet. In any case I personally do not feel that a 3 year old should be watching it because it can be quite brutal with the blood and all. I would imagine that can be a scary sight for such a small child to see. Can you try to put DS to bed before the fights come on? If not, I myself would sacrifice and take son in another room if he is still up. UFC is on often enough now that if you miss one, you be able to see another one next month.

    PS - Matt Serra is married to my cousin so of course I am rooting for him!
    Loving mama to S - 11/06, and F - 1/09

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