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Thread: would you go into temp debt to stay home with LO longer?

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Dec 2007
    Posts
    99

    Default would you go into temp debt to stay home with LO longer?

    So I am in the same position as many mothers. DD is almost 5 months and I'm running low on funds. I am a consultant so I've been able to pick up some work here and there which helps. Unfortunately, marrying DH and filing separately killed me in taxes, which will virtually wipe out my savings when I pay the tax bill.

    Being a consultant, it's a feast or famine situation. If I sign up with an agency, I am locked in for 2 + long days per week, but am guaranteed x number of dollars for showing up and doing the work. Unfortunately, pumping would be almost impossible, as I get no paid breaks and have no privacy ( i.e. hospital, prison). I was told that as a contractor, I don't get the legal protections for pumping on the job. So, if I chose to that, I would probably hand express on the fly for only comfort.

    Then there's the choice of continuing to do what I'm doing now- just taking what comes in from the community and not contract with an agency. I have complete control over my schedule, work in my own office, and can easily pump or just work a half day at a time. The down side is that I have no idea when I'll get a referral and never know for sure how much I am going to make. The hourly is better, but there is no consistent income

    I've reduced expenses on my end- even let go of the hospital grade pump to use my old PISA! Still in maternity wear because I'm too cheap to buy clothes. Wearing the same pair of shoes day in and day out that hurt my feet the least. All I have bought for myself is nursing shirts and bras (boobs got 2 cup sizes bigger nursing )

    My DH and I have a deal. While I am on maternity leave, we keep finances separate. He pays for everything, except I pay "rent" for baby to make up for lost income when roommate left when baby was born. I buy groceries and pay for my own office expenses and gas. Once I go back to regular work, we will re-evaluate, merge finances and set up a budget.

    DH is very proud I am exclusively BF ing and supports me in doing so for a year or longer. He knows I am going broke and is encouraging me to not sell out and contract with an agency before LO is a year old. Of course, he also does not want me to go into debt staying home, either.

    I am tempted to just keep coasting along and tap into my business credit line that has a really good rate (7.25%). Marketing my services would cost money and would only make sense if I wanted to never go back to agency contracting.

    So I am torn. I am completely debt free except for a student loan that is very reasonable (and not repaying right now due to maternity). I know exactly how much I'd make if I set up to start work after the first of the year (14 months off). I could pay off the debt in less than 6 months. The only unknowns would be the length of my commute and my ability to pump.

    Has anyone else been through this? What did you work out? I am afraid I will NEVER want to leave DD and go back to work. I know that I absolutely refuse to give up exclusively BFing- no formula here! Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated. Thanks in advance!

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Jun 2006
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    Default Re: would you go into temp debt to stay home with LO longer?

    I am going to anwer the question in your title.. No I wouldn't go into debt to stay at home. But I wouldnt go to work (unless I HAD to either) DH would get a second job, we'd move to a cheaper area, we'd sell everything we could , live on 'less', etc etc ...

    Have you ever read Total Money Makeover by Dave Ramsey? Since you guys are relatively debt free already most of what he talks about would miss the mark with you but he has great stories and idea for budgeting Can you do what you do from home?
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  3. #3
    Join Date
    Dec 2007
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    99

    Default Re: would you go into temp debt to stay home with LO longer?

    If I am not contracting with an agency, about half of what I do , I can do at home. I evaluate people for alot of different stuff, so half is spent doing the eval, the other half writing up the report.

    DH is doing all he can do. He is very well paid at his job and does side business already. Poor guy is saddled with a huge mortgage ($4,200/month) and I know his ex gf of many years stuck him with debt he is repaying. Evidently they shared finances without being married. She was a compulsive shopper and he's still paying for it two years later.

    When I found that out, I almost refused to marry him. I did when I got pregnant, but we still have separate finances. We agreed my debt would remain my own, and his, his own.

    So essentially, since marriage, his expenses have only increased in terms of utilities and payroll deductions for health insurance. He's making ends meet as things are now, but is not saving any. Until the house sells, which may be a few years given the market, he's in an unfun holding pattern.

    I'm not asking him to completely support me or pay my debt. I just want to stay home, exclusively BF, but go back to work eventually and build a nest egg over time.

    I will read the book, though. Thanks!

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Aug 2007
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    439

    Default Re: would you go into temp debt to stay home with LO longer?

    I would do whatever I could to NOT go into debt. We are in the process of trying to get out of debt right now. Debt is vicious! A little bit of debt can turn into a mountain of debt very quickly, and it can ruin your life, and the lives of your loved ones too. I am speaking from experience.

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
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    18,063

    Default Re: would you go into temp debt to stay home with LO longer?

    thats us too.. our debit is about the same as my hubbies 401k....
    I've been home for 12 years.
    You realy have to look at what its going to cost to work...
    Ive fianly got all but one of my kids in school. Shes turning 5 this summer...
    When I return to work soon my mom is willing to keep my dd a few days a week and she will stay with hubby when he is home.
    I'm only looking for something part time! MAybe 3-4 hours after supper each night and maybe longer on the weekends.

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
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    18,063

    Default Re: would you go into temp debt to stay home with LO longer?

    could you talk him into working out a budget right now and relay thinking about how much its going to cost to go to work.
    When I needed to stay home 12 years ago we sold a car and went down to just one.
    That helped. extra gas insurance and just running around when I should have been home.

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Jun 2007
    Posts
    141

    Default Re: would you go into temp debt to stay home with LO longer?

    We are in so much debt i get nauseaus thinking about it.

    That being said... i would definately go into debt to stay home. I LOVE being a stay at home mom (was able to stay home for 3 years with ds- he's 5 now).

    Unfortunately i have to work right now to pay the bills- I have no option. As soon as my dh's business is able to cover all of our bills- I will happily quit and live extremely modestly! These babies are only babies for a short time- I hate missing a moment!!

    Lauren

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Feb 2007
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    Sunny Arizona
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    3,171

    Default Re: would you go into temp debt to stay home with LO longer?

    I guess it would depend on the kind of debt. My original reply was no I wouldn't, but I just realized we are. We have a loan that has negative amurization(sp?) right now so I can stay home. However we have no credit card debt, car loans etc. Just my school loans but it's only $93/month for those right now so we just chalk that up as an expense like electric etc.

    With our home loan we can still make up the extra money by property appreciation. Our home is only 3 years old and we don't plan on moving for another 5 years so buy the time we go to sell it should all even out. If not we can always refinance in a year or two. DH has a finance degree and used to do mortgages for a living so I trust him to monitor the situation and do what's neccessary. Sorry for the life story

    I would not however, go into credit card debt. We had about $24,000 when we first got married that we've paid off and I don't want to be in that position ever again.

    You're in a tough situation and I wish I could give you more advice but having a secure financial situation is just as important to future of your LO and marriage as anything else. Good luck!!!

    Amy married to my bestfriend since 10/30/04

    Proud SAHM to DS born 2/17/07 and DD born 9/11/08 Both weaned together 11/2011
    Currently milk, peach, peanut and tree nut free. DD has outgrown her wheat, cheese, egg, garlic, and citrus allergies

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Mar 2008
    Posts
    157

    Default Re: would you go into temp debt to stay home with LO longer?

    I would not go into debt to stay home past the first 6 months. I'm a big Dave Ramsey fan as well. Even though you think you can pay it off, you never know what the future holds - I speak from personal experience...

    If you take the hourly job, could you maybe pump in your car (parked of course! HA!) between appointments? I have a converter that I plug into the cigarrette lighter and tinted windows, so I can pump as needed. At 6 months, you could add solids and maybe get by with only pumping a couple of times per day? You could just keep pump and cooler in car until evenings. Even supplementing a bottle or two of dreaded formula would be better than quitting breastfeeding OR going into debt - IMHO.

    Though you can ignore this advice if you want: I think DH should do as much as possible to support you in staying home at LEAST the first year. Even if that means going ahead and combining the money and budget. My DH works 6 days a week at a full time job and 2 days a week at a part time job. In return, I do EVERYTHING else (I don't know whose got the better part here) j/k! We live on $2500/mo with a very tight budget. It is SO worth it!

  10. #10
    Join Date
    Apr 2008
    Posts
    74

    Default Re: would you go into temp debt to stay home with LO longer?

    Hi - I'm in somewhat of a similar situation. I wish I can be a stay-at-home mom and not have to work, but my husband has agreed to let me stay home for at least the first 6 months. He was on the fence with me staying for an entire year, but I'm trying to prolong it as long as possible. But with the impending gloom of a recession coming on, he's afraid our finances will be too tight. I've used my short-term disablity insurance and am currently using my paid family leave. Were you able to use your short-term disablity and paid family leave? Not sure what state you live in, but in California the FMLA law is very much adhered to. Can you look into it in your state? Maybe you can get paid for at least another 6 weeks.
    Also, I've decided to just return to work part-time and when I was on the internet looking for potential jobs, I saw postings for an online survey taker.
    Has anyone heard of that? If it's legit, it pays you for every online survey that you take from the company itself so there is no middle man. Maybe you can do something on the side if you can't do your consultations at home?
    Maybe you can babysit or sell things on Ebay?

    Anyway, I understand what you're going through - but just remember that there are always other options out there. You just have to be creative- and it sounds like you're already trying to find avenues to stay home and raise your child.

    Good luck!

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