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Thread: I have a confession...

  1. #11
    Join Date
    Mar 2006
    Posts
    10,440

    Default Re: I have a confession...

    I walked away from a career I loved, had spent a lot of money and 10 years of my life preparing for (I'm a veterinarian) and was very well paid in order to stay at home with my first child. It cut our income in half, and we don't live where it's cheap to live.

    It can be done. We do without a lot of stuff, like cable TV, high speed internet, eating out, all kinds of nice stuff, but we have the basics covered plus a little.

    I did start picking up PT work out of the home when my oldest was 18 months old; before that, I watched a neighbor's baby to just make a little pocket money for me.

    Are the extra things your income buys worth missing all the firsts? That's what did it for me. The money is nothing in comparision to my children.

    Good luck deciding what to do regarding going back to work or not.

    For starting a stash, I would just start pumping a little bit every day and build up a day or two's worth of milk. Then, once you are back at work, you pump the next day's supply while away from your LO.
    Susan
    Mama to my all-natural boys: Ian, 9-4-04, 11.5 lbs; Colton, 11-7-06, 9 lbs, in the water; Logan, 12-8-08, 9 lbs; Gavin, 1-18-11, 9 lbs; and an angel 1-15-06
    18+ months and for Gavin, born with an incomplete cleft lip and incomplete posterior cleft palate
    Sealed for time and eternity, 7-7-93
    Always babywearing, cosleeping and cloth diapering. Living with oppositional defiant disorder and ADHD. Ask me about cloth diapering and sewing your own diapers!

  2. #12
    Join Date
    Nov 2007
    Location
    SW Ohio
    Posts
    3,133

    Default Re: I have a confession...

    Trust me, mama, I know exactly how you feel! I took 14 weeks of leave when my DD was born, and it STILL didn't feel like enough time with her... Everyday I come to work, I think about her all day long... I discussed staying home with DH, and I just don't know how we would swing it... I make more than DH, so it wouldn't make sense to give up my income... ANYWAY, the nice part is that she's in daycare that's maybe a half-mile from where I work. I can go and visit anytime, and I do pop in from time to time to check on her during the day... She always lights up and smiles great big when she sees me

    Regarding pumping... you will probably only need to build up enough stash for about 1-2 days worth to start out... My DD is 6 months now, and still only drinking 3 bottles with 4 ounces each, while she's at daycare (then she nurses all night long! ) All you need to do is pump enough at work to send with your LO to childcare the next day... that's what we do! I pump 3x a day while I'm at work, and although it's a pain and I'm starting to loathe my pump, it makes me feel like I'm doing something wonderful for her when I have to take time out of my day to go pump...

    Buff
    IRL all my friends call me Buff, Wife to CB since 10/11/2003

    Mom to DD - "MJ" born 9/2007 @ 8lbs 10oz, 21.5" She's 6 years old!
    My journey nursing MJ started HERE, but we got through it and she breastfed 19.5 months, self-weaned on 5/17/09


    Mom to my current nursling, DS - "ME" born 10/2009 @ 10lbs 1oz, 22.25" He's 4 years old! And yup, he's still nursing.

    Ask me about my successful VBAC! Click here for my birth story.



  3. #13
    Join Date
    Feb 2008
    Posts
    213

    Default Re: I have a confession...

    Well i had planned on going back to work when LO was 8 weeks old. here he is 13 weeks and I am still at home with him! I can' t be seperated yet! We do live paycheck to paycheck right now but both us would rather have a parent home with the little one (the other kids are in school) for this short period in his life.
    Mommy to E 12 , K 10 , A almost 6 , and Little J 20 weeks

  4. #14
    Join Date
    Oct 2007
    Posts
    254

    Default Re: I have a confession...

    When I was pregnant, I thought I'd definitely keep working. Well, I had my work leave extended until DD was over four months old and then I decided to go back to work very, very part time (I'm a nurse -- a great thing about my job and one reason I changed careers). I know many women work full time with a new baby, but I know there is no way I could do it. This does mean, however, doing away with some things we could have bought before, but I honestly don't even miss them. I do miss some things about working (co-workers, learning new things, etc.) but thankfully my job will be there for me when I decide I can go back more regularly. Is there any chance you can work from home a couple days a week? I know a lot of IT people do this. Or can you get daycare near your job so you can see your LO on lunch? Also, any chance your family can co-sleep permanently? I think that would be the only way I could be away from DD all day ... knowing I'd be snuggled up with her all night. Good luck to you!
    Jen, momma to Charlotte Rae born 9/25/07

    Still breastfeeding !

    and !


  5. #15
    Join Date
    Nov 2006
    Location
    miles from nowhere
    Posts
    11,086

    Default Re: I have a confession...

    You're not alone, mama. I know exactly how you feel. Especially being the one with insurance- that was a huge deal for us. Is there any way daddy could stay at home for a while? It really eased the transition for us. I make more $ than him so he was the one that quit his job for several months and stayed home.

    just a thought
    “We are not put on earth for ourselves, but are placed here for each other. If you are there always for others, then in time of need, someone will be there for you.”
    --Anonymous

  6. #16
    Join Date
    Feb 2008
    Posts
    85

    Default Re: I have a confession...

    I go back to work in 1.5 weeks after a 14 week leave with my LO. I already have a freezer stash, but I was a fanatic about pumping and caused myself some oversupply problems. I am in dread of going back to work full time. My DS is very high needs and deeply attached to mom. He is sleeping in his crib, but that was a big adjustment for me. It was mostly for DH's sake, who wanted to sleep close to his wife, but is a light sleeper and awoke at every little noise (including nursing!) that DS made. We are both teachers, so my income is needed, and I think it would be hard (especially for DH) to give up our lifestyle for me to SAH. I am taking comfort in the fact that my husband has 6 weeks of leave after I go back, and then we have summers off together, so DS won't need daycare until he is 8-9 months. So I am trying to come to terms with it, but I know exactly how you feel. Finding a part time job or a work at home type job doesn't seem feasible right now because I just finished my master's degree in education, so it would be a bit of a waste to stop teaching at this point. Hang in there...you don't need a huge stash of milk just yet. You won't get very much pumping at first, so I would start soon. Take heart, though, you will be able to pump more as you go on...it's the best thing you can do for your LO if you must work full time Best of luck!

  7. #17
    Join Date
    May 2007
    Posts
    271

    Default Re: I have a confession...

    Boy can I relate. I have to say, going back to work when Caitlyn was 4 months old was the hardest thing I have ever done. I have been back to work for 8 months now, and while it does get easier, I still hate leaving her every morning.

    We co-sleep which helps. I can't sleep without her Laying in bed snuggling with her is my absolute favorite thing to do I live for the weekends when we can (usually) spend some extra time snuggling before we have to get up.

    I am still breastfeeding, which hasn't been easy since I am gone anywhere from 8-12 hours a day, but it is so worth it!!! Plus the co-sleeping helps. SHe does most of her nursing at night.

    As far as the freezer stash goes, I have a nice little stash, but have only had to get into it once or twice. I pump before work, once during work, after work and on weekends which has been enough for her. When I noticed my supply start to drop I started taking Fenugreek. I have recently cut out one of my pumping sessions each day. Now that she is eating food she doesn't need as many bottles.

    Caitlyn will be a year old on the 22nd and we are still breastfeeding,
    co-sleeping and I still dread leaving her every morning. I don't see stopping any of those anytime soon
    Carol
    Proud mom to,
    Cassi 5/17/85
    Carlie 3/16/96

    The Twinzillas
    Camryn 8/17/06
    Carson 8/17/06
    & their Shadow
    Caitlyn 4/22/07

  8. #18
    Join Date
    Mar 2008
    Posts
    12

    Default Re: I have a confession...

    I am in a similar position. My son was premature and my husband is picking up extra hours for me to stary home til the date that I was technically supposed to back to waork if he had been born on time. I only work 20 hours ( 2 ten hour days), and although I know part time is better than full time I just don't know how I am going to elave my baby boy... with my oldest son I went bakc to work at six weeks and my baby will be three months by the time I go back and I give myself anxiety attacks evertime I think that I have to go back to work... and I have tons of time left- wont go back to work until 05/20!!!

    Going back to wok is hard, especially when your job has all the perks. I wish you the best of luck.

    AS far as pumping and freezing I would start soon, I already started... now my concern is pumping at work?!?!? Anything for baby though. Take care.
    Mammakat0830

    Mommy to Christian Alexander 02/15/08
    and Bryan Andrew 05/31/03


    Exclusively and trying to ...

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