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Thread: I have a confession...

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Mar 2008
    Posts
    17

    Default I have a confession...

    so it's not really a problem - well depends on how you look at it I guess.

    So last night I fed my LO around 11 or so, and she woke up around 3 ish - I fed her and she was asleep.

    So I swaddle her and try to put her in her crib - she's asleep and comfy. LO is 5 wks old and hasn't slept 1 night in her crib since she's been home. She's taken a few naps in there - but never the night.

    I go back to my bed (I've been sleeping in the spare room- so that we don't wake husband since he's working and I'm still on leave). So I last maybe 5 minutes in bed listening to the monitor.

    I give up and go get her OUT of her crib and bring her sleeping/swaddled little form back to my bed. And she promptly starts crying because she's been sleeping with a nipple in her mouth for the past week or longer. Had I left her in her crib she'd have been fine - but I couldn't leave her there. I am so much in love with my baby girl, I couldnt' sleep without her. Am I pathetic? so even though my nipples are sore (I may have thrush - the LC has me using a home recipe for the all purpose nipple ointment - and it's helping with the pain at least) - I let her suckle and we slept for another few hours.

    I so don't want to go back to work I could live with leaving her for a couple of hours (part time) - but I'll have to leave her for 10 hours per day or more (I have a 45 min commute 2 x a day - so 1.5 hrs just driving - plus 8 hrs or more) I could just cry.

    As a result I haven't been focusing on pumping and freezing yet - I know I need to. How long do you think I should give myself to do this? I have 2.5 wks before I go back. I hope I have enough time to start building up a supply.

    Man. I am going to be so depressed when I start focusing on the pump/freeze project

    I am a computer consultant for crying out loud - I should be able to find a part time job. oy. oy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! MY heart is breaking..

    Tina

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Jul 2006
    Location
    Oh FFS!
    Posts
    10,008

    Default Re: I have a confession...

    No advice mama, I KNOW how you feel.

    Mama to my little Diva: Miss K (7/15/06)
    And her little sister: Lulu Pie (3/21/09)

    "Don't toush da mango"
    One-handed typer Extraordinaire!
    My body creates, houses, nurtures and nourishes life. That is awesome.
    Kegel Kop says: TIGHTEN UP!

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Mar 2008
    Posts
    198

    Default Re: I have a confession...

    Do you HAVE to go back to work? I guess that's a stupid ? since you probably wouldn't if you didn't have to. Try putting the crib in your room, that way she's close to you. My duaghter is going to be a year and still sleeps in our room and it's great. I can't even think about putting her in a seperate room. As far as the pumping goes I have no advice, sorry. Good luck, and I'm sorry you have to leave her.
    Mommy to Madilyn Born 4/25/07 9lbs. 15oz.
    C-section
    for 17 months. Greatest momments of my life!

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Mar 2008
    Posts
    17

    Default Re: I have a confession...

    Quote Originally Posted by Madilyn'sMommy View Post
    Do you HAVE to go back to work? I guess that's a stupid ? since you probably wouldn't if you didn't have to. Try putting the crib in your room, that way she's close to you. My duaghter is going to be a year and still sleeps in our room and it's great. I can't even think about putting her in a seperate room. As far as the pumping goes I have no advice, sorry. Good luck, and I'm sorry you have to leave her.

    well - right now life is good with 2 incomes. we don't (haven't anyhow) budget - and just go with the flow.

    So I have built a budget tentative with me not working - and - we could do it if we budgeted, and if I got a part time job and pulled in a few hundred bucks a month it would be enough to get by - anything over that would give us more cushion.

    So technically I could quit and just find a part time job. Problem is, as a computer consultant - I make decent money (Not great, but decent) - and if I get a part time admin job it will likely cut my salary in half. So part time at 20 hours a week would equate to 1/4 of the pay i get now.

    Anyhow - that plus the insurance (my company is great and pays 100% of our monthly premiums.) so it's a rough call. to go from financial security/comfort - to living paycheck to paycheck -

    i've been giving myself headaches everytime I try to think it through..


  5. #5
    Join Date
    Mar 2008
    Posts
    17

    Unhappy Re: I have a confession...

    Quote Originally Posted by mothersky View Post
    No advice mama, I KNOW how you feel.
    thank you! believe it or not i just got that those icons are hugs I first thought it was mom hugging baby but - just got it now. ugh. I am ready to cry over this!!

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Feb 2007
    Location
    Sunny Arizona
    Posts
    3,171

    Default Re: I have a confession...

    DS slept in our room until he was 4 months old, the only reason he got moved is the crib wouldn't fit in our tiny room and he maxed out the weight on the bassinet. I was a nutcase the first few nights. DH had to actually keep me from going and checking on him when I knew he was sleeping just fine.

    Most moms here would be totally sympathetic to both your situations. I made a pro/con list of me staying home and all the things we'd have to live without if I stopped working. It wasn't even close. Staying home is so rewarding for me.

    I think the thing that tipped the scale was when I was talking to a friend about it and she passed on some advice her daycare gave her; "pack a disposable camera in the diaper bag everyday since most of your daughters "firsts" will probably happen without you"

    The very thought made me cry and I was willing to get a smaller cell phone plan and cut the cable etc. Good luck to you!

    Oh and I'd try to pump once a day until you go back just to get started then you can just pump at work to take care of the next days feedings.

    Amy married to my bestfriend since 10/30/04

    Proud SAHM to DS born 2/17/07 and DD born 9/11/08 Both weaned together 11/2011
    Currently milk, peach, peanut and tree nut free. DD has outgrown her wheat, cheese, egg, garlic, and citrus allergies

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Mar 2008
    Posts
    102

    Default Re: I have a confession...

    Going back to work is hard. I cried my first two days back. I know that me working is much harder on me than my daughter and that, although it is not much helps me get through the days. Just think you have all night to spend with your DD. How much more you can treasure that time together to help you get through your long days at work.

    In terms of pumping, since you will be nursing and pumping, to start to get a stash going, I would suggest starting to pump at least one week before you return to work. That is what I did and it has worked well for my DD and me so far. I am a bit of an over producer now that I am pumping, and have about 1 month worth of a stash in the freezer.
    The best way to start is it add in a extra pump session where you LO is usually sleeping. Even 0.5 to 1 oz is great to start. Pumping in the early morning worked best for me so I set and alarm clock to wake myself up early.

    If you post in the pumping section I am sure that the mammas there will give you lots of great advise.

    Best of luck!

    Robyn
    Reagan Allison
    Born 12/29/07
    7 lbs 3 oz
    Goals:
    Nurse 1 month
    Nurse 3 months
    Nurse 6 months
    Nurse 9 months
    Nurse 1 year

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Aug 2006
    Location
    Oklahoma
    Posts
    6,745

    Default Re: I have a confession...

    If you want to SAH I recommend looking into Total Money Make Over by Dave Ramsey NOW.
    “Only with trust, faith, and support can the woman allow the birth experience to enlighten and empower her.” - Annie Kennedy & Penny Simkin

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Dec 2007
    Posts
    99

    Default Re: I have a confession...

    Any way you can extend your leave without giving up your job? That way you could be with LO longer, but not jeopardize your job security.

    You don't really need a big freezer stash since you will hopefully pump at work to keep up your supply. Having some saved up is fine, but a large amount is not crucial. How far ahead you start pumping all depends on how much you want to save....

    But I think you know that you aren't ready to start thinking of going to work yet, making it hard toi face the pump. And that's OK

  10. #10
    Join Date
    Jan 2008
    Location
    Orange County, CA
    Posts
    3,092

    Default Re: I have a confession...

    Have you tried this calculator? http://www.parents.com/app/stayathomecalculator/

    We discovered that the cost of daycare in our area alone ($1100 a month) would eat up a huge chunk of my income. Not to mention dry cleaning, eating out, gas, etc. We made a deal that I would stay home for the first year, and then I have to find a way to bring in some more money, be it working from home or out of the home, part time or full time. Although I will admit that it was really challenging to get over the idea of having the extra $$ my job brought in, especially when our close friends are buying a house and we're just crossing our fingers that the landlord doesn't raise our rent.

    Then I got laid off a week into my maternity leave so our decision was pretty much made for us.
    Karen

    Proud mama to
    Kaitlyn Ann 12/23/07 - 7 lbs., 15 oz.
    11/09
    Jackson Thomas 1/16/11 - 9 lbs., 3 oz.


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