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Thread: Wanting to throw in the towel with BF

  1. #11
    Join Date
    Dec 2007
    Posts
    99

    Default Re: Wanting to throw in the towel with BF

    Have you checked out the "Happiest Baby on the Block" DVD? It illustrates some foolproof soothing techniques. Our LO is approaching 5 months and the techniques worked from day 1 to the present.

    I'm saying this because our LO went thru a stage where she needed more baby-taming. Without it, she didn't nap well, was hair-trigger fussy and didn't eat as efficiently. Until we consistently used the techniques again (5 S es) she was either too hungry to sleep well or too sleepy to eat well.

    The DVD is miraculous and shows how it works with every baby. I am now a big believer in the calming reflex.

    It can change your life from one of haggard desperation to getting some rest hope.

    Good Luck!

    P.S. Formula feeding doesn't necessarily guarantee a happier baby that sleeps. They can get problematic digestion, and lose the antibody protection against illnesses.

  2. #12
    Join Date
    Mar 2008
    Posts
    212

    Default Re: Wanting to throw in the towel with BF

    Kate,
    I just wanted to add a word of encouragement. You're doing great, and it's definately a hard thing to do. I'm feeling a bit worn out today too. Before you stop breastfeeding, you might consider giving up everything else. Park it on the bed or couch. Don't clean anything, cook anything, don't fix anything. If anyone has ever offered to help, call them. Give yourself the best chance possible to get over this hump.

    Mostly, know that you are not alone. You can do it.

  3. #13
    Join Date
    May 2007
    Posts
    307

    Default Re: Wanting to throw in the towel with BF

    I know how you feel. The beginning is really hard. I stopped nursing my daughter when she was about 6 weeks old because it become so painful and stressful for me. With my son, I had a really good lactation consultant, who helped guide me. I had a rough start with him, but he is now 1 year old and we just weaned. It's hard to imagine going that long when you are in the stage you are in. In fact, while I've had an amazing nursing relationship with my son, I am not really looking forward to the beginning stage of nursing the next one (I'm pregnant). Everyone is right...it does get soooo much better. My son also nursed for an hour each time. I decided to pump exclusively, which helped. With my daughter, I was like you - I could hardly get 1 whole ounce the whole day put together! I know I was extremely stessed, which can make getting a let down hard. Do you have good swaddling blankets? When the lactation consultant showed me how to properly swaddle my son, it made all the difference in the world. everytime he would get fussy, I would swaddle him and he would almost immediately calm down. Maybe you should try that? The bottom line is, a healthy and happy mama is the best thing for your baby. I applaud you for giving it your best. If you are going to regret giving it, then hang in there. With my daughter, I felt relief when I decided to stop (with a little bit of guilt) because I was just an absolute mess (I had post partum depression), but with my son, I felt so proud that I made it through the struggles and acheived a successful breastfeeding relationship. You have to do what works for your family. If you're really stressed out and need a break, try giving a formula bottle here and there (not everyone is going to agree with this idea, but as long as it doesn't seem to upset the baby's stomach to switch back and forth, then it should be fine - maybe check with your pediatrician first). Good luck!!!
    Jillian
    Mommy to ...
    Ella (11/03/04)
    Owen (03/29/07)
    Cate (11/17/08)

  4. #14
    Join Date
    Jul 2006
    Posts
    779

    Default Re: Wanting to throw in the towel with BF

    Just wanted to send a hug your way. Most of us were in your same shoes, so it may help to let you know that we're still alive to talk about it It's just the way most babies are...they want to be held, fed and don't sleep too much. It seems like you've got a good hang of her latching on, so try nursing in bed...it will help you relax and sleep.

    How often is she feeding. The good thing about her feeding often is that it will help your supply.

    Just try to keep in mind that she was in your belly for 9 months, keeping warm and receiving food around the clock..so it's a big change for her to be out in the world. Hang in there...you're doing great

    At 14 months by son is busy walking around and getting into everything...I miss being able to hold him for long periods at 8 weeks.
    Mom to Colin Robert - Born on January 28, 2007

    Check out my website:
    www.nycbreastfeeding.com

  5. #15
    Join Date
    Apr 2008
    Posts
    60

    Default Re: Wanting to throw in the towel with BF

    Don't give up. I remember being there, and it really does get better. I found that I did not respond well to my pump after awhile, so I tried hand expressing. Oddly enough that was better for me. My LO did not eat for such a long period, but she was eating all the time. I went to using a pacifier with her and that helped us a lot. We found out she was comfort eating more than eating for health reasons. Try and stick with it. Do some cosleeping so you can get some rest and see if that helps. Also, if you really feel like you are going to be sick, eat before you BF. I seriously threw up in the beginning if I did not eat before I nursed. I wish you the best!

  6. #16
    Join Date
    Mar 2007
    Posts
    1,307

    Default Re: Wanting to throw in the towel with BF

    I have not read all of the posts but I do agree with the mom nursing vacation. It is normal for a little one to nurse frequently in the early weeks. It does get easier but it is a gradual transition. You could try breast compressions when your little one is nursing to get more milk out which might end the nursing session earlier. She also may be comfort nursing. While this is great for supply it can get frustrating. Have you tried a pacifier? After she has nursed for a while you can try to trade the breast for a paci. Your loved one may also be going through a growth spurt which will cause her to nurse frequently. This will help build your supply, though, which is what you want.

    Have you been consistent with the pump? If you stopped pumping for a while or missed pumping sessions then this could cause a decrease in the amount pumped. Also, if you are pumping on top of full time nursing then 1 to 2 ounces is great. Most women on average pump about 4 ounces (total for both breasts) in one session when away from their loved one. If your little one is going through a growth spurt this could be why your pumping supply decreased too. She may be eating more than normal. You can increase your pumping output by pumping/nursing more frequently. But, it sounds like you need to take a break and just concentrate on nursing and getting some rest.

    I just wanted to say again that it does get easier. My little one was what I would consider high needs. The first 3 to 4 months were difficult for various reasons (jaundice, cluster feeding, fussy periods {which I later found out was caused by the milk in my diet } etc). But, my SIL formula fed and her first little one was the same way. So, switching to formula will not guarantee things will get easier for you.

    Hang in there.
    Mom to Lainey (11-8-06)

  7. #17
    Join Date
    Feb 2008
    Location
    Michigan
    Posts
    75

    Default Re: Wanting to throw in the towel with BF

    Hang in there! You are an awesome Mommy from all the health benefits you have already given your LO! It DOES get easier and if you give it up then you might regret it in the long run! Give it time! YOU CAN DO IT! Remember, the more your LO eats, the more it is going to increase your supply!
    since day 1 (Sept '07) !!! so Daddy can feed Mia while I'm at work! because we both love it!


    I my Husband and Daughter!!!!

  8. #18
    Join Date
    Apr 2008
    Posts
    7

    Default Re: Wanting to throw in the towel with BF

    Have you considered removing dairy from your diet? Dairy in mom's diet can cause fussiness in some infants.

    Also, have you considered oversupply? or forceful letdown? Baby could be getting too much foremilk and not enough hindmilk. This can cause baby to want to nurse frequently and can irriate the intestines.

    I can send you some LLL articles if you want.

  9. #19
    Join Date
    Mar 2008
    Posts
    2

    Default Re: Wanting to throw in the towel with BF

    Are you sure your LO is really eating that whole time or are they using you as a paci? Babies like to suck. Have you tried a paci?

  10. #20
    Join Date
    Feb 2008
    Location
    Pullman, WA
    Posts
    363

    Default Re: Wanting to throw in the towel with BF

    It's all been said. Sounds like your LO is normal (and so are you). I hope you don't give up. But do try to rest. Only feed her and yourself. Call in all of those offers for help, like one of the pp said.

    And I wouldn't resort to artificial nipples or artificial milk at this point. It will throw bigger wrenches in your situation. Remember, babies don't use their moms as pacifiers--pacifiers are fake boobs, not vice versa. I read something in those early weeks that helped keep me going when people told me that my LO was using me as a paci (no offense to pp, it was just hard on me to hear that when I was struggling). Anyway, here it is:

    "You are not a pacifier; you are a Mom. You are the sun, the moon, the earth, you are liquid love, you are warmth, you are security, you are comfort in the very deepest aspect of the meaning of comfort.... but you are not a pacifier!" -- Paula Yount

    Whenever I sit down to nurse Jaime and he's having a hard time, and I start to feel frustrated, those words come into my head. . . "you are liquid love. . .".

    Hope you're feeling better tonight and getting a little rest. It's true, it really will get better.
    Stephanie, mom to Jaime Hoban 11/04/07 and Annika Jayne 12/21/09


    We . . . no room in the bed for more!

    We love our cloth diapers!

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