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Thread: more help

  1. #1
    Join Date
    May 2006
    Posts
    1,568

    Default more help

    I posted a week or so ago about wanting to cut down on nursing/wean my 2 year old. Its going okay sometimes, but not other times. I also go back and forth on the whole idea. Somtimes nursing drives me crazy and makes me feel like I resent my LO. Other times I enjoy the cuddling aspect of it. Sometimes I think about CLW, but I really don't think its a good idea for me if I feel anger over her nursing. I agree with the concept, and at this point, feel like I am only continuing to nurse for her, not for me. Funny how everyone assumes that nursing past a certain age is just for the mom.

    What I started doing after my last post was that I am trying to only allow nursing in the morning when my LO wakes, then some point after lunch (around nap time if she gets a nap) and then before bedtime. I don't offer it- its just if she asks around that time, I let her. If she doesn't ask, I wouldn't let her (she has yet to not ask). She also asks at other times during the day when I do not let her. I tell her that she can nurse next at the next time (I say after lunch, or before bed...whatever is coming next).

    She sleeps all night most nights nowdays (finally) but the nights she has a waking, my DH tries to put her back to sleep. It doesn't work. She can scream and cry for hours. We do NOT agree with CIO. My DH stays with her. We have yet to see what would happen if he just stayed with her beyond an hour or two of screaming, because he has to work the next day. At that point, she nurses, and immediately goes back to sleep.

    Sometimes when I am out, like yesterday, she unzipped my vest and grabbed my shirt where my breast is. right in front of my friend, who is not nursing. It was awkward...

    I am thinking that if I could get her down to just the 3 nursings for a few weeks, then try cutting out another, etc.

    I guess I need to know if this sounds normal, and any advice on how to keep cutting out nursing, as the ones I have left are the hardest ones. I would love to get one of the LLL books, but I can't right now, and don't have a local group, nor does my local library have anything.

    I just don't like how nursing makes me feel, and the way she asks sometimes makes me feel wierd too. I just want to enjoy my LO without worrying about this anymore. Any thoughts?
    Mommy to 3 beautiful girls!

  2. #2
    Join Date
    May 2006
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    1,568

    Default Re: more help

    anybody have any thoughts/encouragment???
    Mommy to 3 beautiful girls!

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Dec 2006
    Posts
    1,197

    Default Re: more help

    I don't have any experience with weaning but 3 times a day seems reasonable. According to what I have read on this forum so far, continuing with the 3 times for a while and offering snacks and cuddling at the other times that she asks to nurse may help to get the idea that nursing is done at particular times during the day. After her mind is settled you can try cutting the middle-of-the-day session. If she resents you can always go back and forth, try different things. If she doesn't you can continue with two sessions for a while and work on further reduction afterwards.
    As for the night time, have you tried offering her water when she wakes up? Sometimes it works with my son when I'm really tired and he is really thirsty.

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Jan 2008
    Location
    NoVA
    Posts
    1,535

    Default Re: more help

    mama!

    Have you seen this (non LLL) resource on weaning? There might be something in there that you can use or that would help.

    I think this is going to take some time, and a lot of patience! Being consistent, and setting limits are great ideas. It's ok to feel like nursing isn't working for you and that it's hard for you to continue, these are feelings that moms can struggle with.

    Take it one day at a time
    Jessica
    LLL Leader

    Breastfeeding is an instinctual and natural act, but it is also an art that is learned day by day.

    Visit LLL of Ashburn PM's Blog!

  5. #5
    Join Date
    May 2006
    Posts
    252

    Default Re: more help

    My son is 25mo and our situation sounds like yours. I've been doing don't offer/don't refuse for awhile but I work fulltime and the one session he is adamant about not dropping is when I get home from work. At night, he usually will take water if I offer but most of the time I don't remember to bring the sippy to bed and I'm too lazy so I just whip out the boobie. I find that avoiding the usual places we nurse (big chair in the living room, lying down on the bed) seems to prevent/delay him asking. In the morning, I can get away with a quick feeding (or none, if he's already really awake by the time I get into his room). We do co-cleep about half the night and that's when most of the nursing takes place. He, too, grabs me when we're out but i think it's more playful than nursing-related. He did it at the store this weekend and I just shrugged it off. Act like he grabbed your finger instead of your breast and react the same. He also asked to nurse in the bathtub a few nights ago and I said "no" since we've never done that and he let it drop. I'm tempted to change my birth control, start up my allergy drugs, etc to minimize the milk but I don't want to freak him out if it dries up overnight. Mind you, I'm just waiting for the nursing to end before I do those things...I wouldn't take drugs to dry up if I weren't already taking those pills and have just delayed re-taking them thanks to nursing. Don't have much advice but you're not in this boat alone!

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Aug 2006
    Posts
    1,987

    Default Re: more help

    I've had success putting in a purchase request for LLL books at our library.

    Has it helped your feelings to cut down on nursing? Sometimes just that amount of control can make a difference. Another approach is to limit the time nursing at those times you would rather not but your lo is insistent by counting to 10 or singing a song or the ABCs or something. DS learned to count to 10 at just past 2 b/c of this.
    DS 1/2006 9 lb. 2 oz. 22 in.
    DD 10/2008 8 lb, 2 oz. 20 in.

  7. #7
    Join Date
    May 2006
    Posts
    1,568

    Default Re: more help

    Thanks for all the replies. The Kellymom resources look good.

    Unfourtunately I don't have a LLL group, so I can't get books from there at all. The nearest group is about 2 hours from here.

    I used to try counting...but now my LO just screams "more, more more" after 10 is done...

    So far I still don't like how we are down to 3 nursings now. She asks abou 3-4 other times during the day as well that I don't let her. I hope that these feelings subside since its best for her to continue with those last 3 nursings for now.

    Thanks again!
    Mommy to 3 beautiful girls!

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Aug 2006
    Posts
    1,987

    Default Re: more help

    I just reread my post and it wasn't clear--I put in the purchase request with our local library and when they got it in, they put it on hold for me and notified me.

    DS was pretty good with the counting to 10 thing, but the person who told me about it said if they insist, close things up, switch sides and do it again on the other side. She said you may have to do that several times at first, but it should get better.
    DS 1/2006 9 lb. 2 oz. 22 in.
    DD 10/2008 8 lb, 2 oz. 20 in.

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