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Thread: When she's ready...

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Feb 2006
    Posts
    58

    Default When she's ready...

    I’m guess I’m looking for a little support & encouragement.
    I’ve been nursing my petunia for 9 months now & I plan to let her self wean.
    I love nursing & so does she. Lately it seems like every one is curious to know when I plan to stop. Even those who praised bf in the beginning are wondering how long I’m going to let my dd nurse. I always say, for as long as she wants, or I’ll stop when she’s ready but I tend to get looked at like I have 10 heads!! Has everyone gone through the 3 degree of bf’ing?? How do you tackle such inappropriate questions???

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
    Posts
    88

    Default Re: When she's ready...

    I'd like to know myself the best way to handle this, I have thought about it a lot and have posted once before about this very issue. I don't know many people close to me (besides my husband) who supports me for extended bf and I, too, and getting the looks lately. My son will be 1 year on Saturday and I think DMIL thinks I'm just going to stop!!

    I have expressed to them all when they ask that WE plan to wean slowly at a gradual pace. I have a lot of luck when I respond to any questions that seem inappropriate or unsupportive with the following:

    AAP recommends BF for at least one year and then as long as mutually desirable after that. WHO and UNICEF recommend 2 years I think???

    HUMOR!! I often tell people lately that I'm sure he won't be nursing or sleeping with us when he goes to college.

    Confidence. I have found that since we have made the decision to let my son wean himself, I must sound confident of that when people ask and tell them why if they actually want to listen. I am a nurse and several of my coworkers last night actually praised me for "having the courage to BF that long", that they themselves couldn't do it due to peer pressure.

    Just some thoughts, and congratulations on nursing so long!! I hope that you and your daughter continue happily nursing for as long as you want to...

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
    Posts
    863

    Default Re: When she's ready...

    I'm dealing with that as well. What I've used includes (and is usually prefaced by "Every child is different..."):
    -confident broken record: "We believe in natural weaning." "He'll let me know when he's ready."
    -"we're working on it" since technically weaning begins when you start solids
    - answering their question with a question: "Why do you ask?" Maybe they're curious, maybe concerned... but in any case it helps you understand where they're coming from so you can respond appropriately and not come off as defensive if you don't have to really be defensive
    -UNICEF and WHO reccomend until 2 years and however long after as mutually desired
    -world wide average is 4 years old
    -When people ask "Are you STILL bf?" I respond, "Yes! Isn't it wonderful? I feel so lucky to be able to do this for him!" and smile
    -humor as mentioned before. Sometimes when people ask when he'll wean I say, "college!" and smile Usually they don't pry further.

    hope that helps!
    Kristie L.
    LLL Leader
    (the poster formerly known as fezzik812)
    Wife to Brett, Mommy to Seamus (5.1.05), and Emelie (1.18.08)
    "You must be the change you wish to see in the world."- Ghandi

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Jul 2006
    Posts
    14

    Default Re: When she's ready...

    My standard reply when someone asks me about weaning is either:

    * WHO recommends a minimum of two years (that shut my dad up).

    OR if I really don't want to get into it with the individual

    * we have started the weaning process (which to me begins when a child starts solids - note that I haven't mentioned when weaning will be finished!).

    Sometimes if I am feeling cheeky, I'll say "since I can eat whatever I want and not gain weight, I'm not weaning until college!".

    I'd pick your battles on this one. Some people are open to information and some people are looking for a fight. No reason to help the latter group.

    Siobhan

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Jul 2006
    Posts
    2

    Default Re: When she's ready...

    I have been dealing with this for quite some time as my son is two years and 4 months old and still nursing. I just always have told everyone that we are working on it. The truth is you are working on it and wont know when until it happens.

    I am sooooo glad I have taken the natural weaning approach! My son has cut back his feedings pretty much on his own and my body has naturally adjusted. He only nurses now at nap time and when I put him to bed (unless his dad puts him to bed then he usually wakes up to nurse at least once during the night). He will ask to nurse sometimes for comfort usually during a growth spurt or teething pain.

    Hang in there, after awhile you will probably find that they stop asking!

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
    Posts
    18,063

    Default Re: When she's ready...

    if you want to be a smarty pants say something like "Sometime before they go to kindergarden" That answer normaly stops them from asking again.

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Jul 2006
    Posts
    37

    Default Re: When she's ready...

    I am going through it now and my baby will be 7 ms on the 23

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