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Thread: help, i'm losing my patience

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Jul 2007
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    Default help, i'm losing my patience

    My DD is almost 3 now and she's slept in my bed since she was born and always nursed to sleep and i feel i'm too tired to do it anymore. I'm a single mom and worn out. I feel i have no time to myself and could use some free time at night or during nap time. She stays latched on to sleep through her whole nap so i can't move and at night i'm lucky if i can sneak away for an hour before she wakes up and realizes i'm not by her side. And when she does wake she has to nurse again and then sometimes won't go to sleep for hours because i think she is afraid i'm going to leave the room again. this past week she's been keeping me up till midnight and i've been overtired and i lose my patience and get mad and tell her she is going to start sleeping in her own bed because she's too big now and we are both too cranky the next day from not getting enough sleep. I feel bad saying that to her but at midnight when im exhausted and its been going on for days in a row i can't take it anymore. I need some time for myself as i am with her all day also as i watch kids in my home so i can be with her all day. So does anyone have any ideas on how to get her to start sleeping in her own bed and possibly to stop nursing? I dont want to tramatize her by taking away her 2 comfort zones but i'm afraid i'm going to lose it if i dont change this soon.

  2. #2
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    Jan 2006
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    Default Re: help, i'm losing my patience

    3 is a cool age cause you can bargin with them.
    What worked for potty training? What sort of reward?
    That might work for weaning also.
    Some kids like coins or stickers or small toys.
    My dd will turn 5 in June.
    Shes weaned but she still gets up at least 1 time a night.
    So even if you wean you might have some of the night wakeing still.
    My dd starts out in her own bed and then at some point she comes and gets in bed with me, she never wanders the house or cries anymore.
    Dr sears has a great page on stopping the all night nurser
    The last nursing for us was the right before bed nurse.
    At 3 she might be ready to give up naps. (I know thats not what you want to hear but....) My kids were somewhere between 2 and 3.
    Try no nap and early bed time.
    What time do you get up?

  3. #3
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    Default Re: help, i'm losing my patience


  4. #4
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    Default Re: help, i'm losing my patience

    thanks for responding...i get up around 6 because i have kids come over early but i try to let her sleep in until 8 if she doesnt realize im not in bed. and i've tried no naps but she is miserable about 3 or 4 and then i feel it is too late for a nap cause she'll be up all night i like for her to be in bed by 8 but lately she's been up till midnight even if she goes to bed at 8 she'll realize im not next to her and wake up and wont go back to bed even if i plan on staying next to her then. she is not potty trained yet either i've also been trying to but she always wants to go potty after she goes in her diaper even when i can tell she is going or about to go i'll tell her to go on the potty but she doesnt want to. i've tried telling her she is too big to nurse and she is a big girl now and she says she doesnt want to be a big girl she wants to be a baby still, she pretends sometimes she is a baby still..does ur DD still sleep in your bed? i wouldnt mind so much her waking up once a night if she went back to sleep on her own..its that im trying to have a little bit of a life again and i cant even have my mother watch her for me at night because she wakes up an hour after i leave and will stay up till i get home and then every night there after she wont sleep because she thinks i will leave or something. i just want to get her in her own bed..i wouldnt mind nursing once before bed if she went to sleep and stayed asleep without me being next to her and avail for nursing all night

  5. #5
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    Default Re: help, i'm losing my patience

    my dd comes in and gets in bed, sometimes I wait till shes asleep and then I go and get in her bed.
    she starts out in her own bed. I go in and read stories and if they are quiet I will stay untill they go to sleep.
    She shares a room with her 6 year old brother and her 11 year old brother.

    Have you tried her own bed?
    even in the same room works for some.
    a pallet or crib matress on the floor beside the bed.

  6. #6
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    Jul 2007
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    Default Re: help, i'm losing my patience

    i did try her own bed for a few days but she would cry and fight going to sleep until 1 or 2 and i was too tired so i gave up, i would stay in her room on the floor but she wasnt happy about it...the first night she did ok and fell asleep around 11 but each night after it got worse and worse till i figured she just wasnt ready for it and gave up but now i want to try again

  7. #7
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    Jan 2006
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    Default Re: help, i'm losing my patience

    Hi mamalisa, and
    You've really reached your wits end about this -- you're exhausted!
    Feelings of nursing burnout can be very common.
    Here's a few articles with responses from different mothers about what they've done in similar situations. There are ideas on ways to cope, setting limits, and taking care of yourself, too. Maybe something in there will help?
    http://www.llli.org/NB/NBJanFeb00p15.html
    http://www.llli.org/NB/NBSepOct97p150.html
    http://www.llli.org/NB/NBJulAug93p121.html
    Hang in there,
    Mary

  8. #8
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    Default Re: help, i'm losing my patience

    thank u those articles were very helpful

  9. #9
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    Default Re: help, i'm losing my patience

    I did not read those articles but I have heard others on here say it is better to put limits on the nursing instead of saying they are too old for it. Like say we can nurse right before bed or we can nurse tomorrow . . . instead of saying we are never nursing again because you are too old. Then of course they want to get as much as they can because you are going to take it away kind of thing. Since I have not weaned yet and my 17 month old still wakes at night I probably am not the best to give advice. But, two things you could try is say: we are going to start nursing twice (or how ever many times you are comfortable with) a day - and let her pick the times (kind of putting her in control of it). Also it might help if she has a lovey to sleep with or if you get her a new special stuffed animal that is now her bunkmate.

    Good luck.
    Mom to Lainey (11-8-06)

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