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Thread: just need to vent

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Jan 2008
    Posts
    104

    Default just need to vent

    I just need to vent a little. I met up with an old friend this weekend who I haven't seen for 4 years. We had lunch, shared pics, caught up on things and during this time of course we talked about babies. My LO is 8 1/2 months old and I breastfeed, she doesn't have any but her younger sister has a baby who just turned 1. Anyway to the point, we got on discussion on why I breastfeed when formula is BETTER than breastmilk. I keeping my cool said no breastmilk is the best for baby and for mommy. She of course asked why I thought that. I told her that one thing about breastmilk is that it gives the baby antibodies from me to help fight off infections - her response "Formula has that now and they are better than the ones in breastmilk!" I also told her about all the other benefits and told her about all the benefits for the mother also. She says the only benfit to breastfeeding over formula feeding was that it helps mom lose weight. She said for that reason when she has a little one she will breastfeed for about 3 weeks and that would be it and the formula all the way. I didn't want to argue about this - it is our each indvidual choice and I don't have a problem with those that formula feed (I have tons of friends do), I just have a problem with those who question me on why I am breastfeeding (very argumentively) and doesn't have all not even a fraction of the facts! Sorry, very frustrated and just needed to vent and thanks for letting me share!
    Jen 30 ~ wife to Gary
    step-mom to 12 yo Hayden
    mommy to 1 yo Lilly



    Goals:

    We made it 1 YEAR!

    My Lilly Bug is offically 1!



    trying to quite but still



    Loving & & ing

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Feb 2008
    Posts
    213

    Default Re: just need to vent

    How misinformed she is!! Isn't it frustrating?!?! There are so many people that honestly think formula is the best thing for baby.
    Mommy to E 12 , K 10 , A almost 6 , and Little J 20 weeks

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Jan 2008
    Posts
    187

    Default Re: just need to vent

    I feel your fustration!!! A friend of ours and his wife are due in June. She has told me MANY time on how disgusting and repulsive she thinks BFing is when she knows I do it!!! Then she goes on to tell me that she asked her doctor and that the doctor told her that there is no difference on loosing weight when it comes to FF babies vs BF babies (I suppose that was her main concern) and that the health reasons are not that much different either because (like the OP's friend said) now formula has all those same things that BM does

    ignorance is bliss .... I think people choose to hear what they want and discard the rest.

    All I have to say is, I feel bad for the babies to be of these two people.

    Jake: Born 11/15/07
    6lbs 5oz ~ 19inch and 3/4's long

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Mar 2006
    Posts
    1,048

    Default Re: just need to vent

    Wow. Yes each of us is entitled to her own choice, but what an uninformed choice she's making. That sounds like a VERY frustrating conversation. Still, you know what? I said really ignorant things before having a baby too. Not that bad.. but... Maybe if she gets pregnant, she'll get a book or two and get the real facts. Sometimes we learn as we go.

    I do worry a little about her repeating her ignorance out loud so confidently. Especially to breastfeeding mothers. Can you e-mail her some sound references or something? Say, "Hey I totally respect your choices regarding breastfeeding and will assume you respect mine, but just in case you want some credible resources for future reference..."

    I would like her to stop saying that stuff. How the heck would formula have antibodies??

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Mar 2008
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    121

    Default Re: just need to vent

    It's just a good day to vent isn't it!
    My MIL who had never breastfed, who had both her son's on soy formula and fed them cereal in their bottles when they were 3 months old suggested that I give my 16 week old some cereal at night just because he started night waking and night nursing last week. Of course I'm not happy about my LO waking & nursing at night since I thought he had established a good routine, but I'm not going to give him solids before 6 months.

    sometimes she worries me because she watches him 3 days a week and i often wonder if she'd slip him something. i'm pretty sure she wouldn't ever do that. i think i'm just sleep deprived, which is making me hostile right now.

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Mar 2006
    Posts
    1,048

    Default Re: just need to vent

    If she starts doing that, the poop will change.

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Feb 2007
    Posts
    2,738

    Default Re: just need to vent

    Sorry you had to deal with that. To some people ignorance is blss.
    Mama to my Rubies
    C '07
    A '09
    And my Christmas Eve baby
    L '12
    I will carry you all my life
    And I will praise the one who's chosen me to carry you
    W Apr '11
    R Nov '11
    The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched. They must be felt within the heart. *Helen Kellar*

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Mar 2008
    Posts
    157

    Default Re: just need to vent

    jojo1079: I know my MIL would slip our baby solids if she got the chance! watch out!

    I try to let MIL and my mom do things their way when they're around baby (since they both live 7+ hours away), but once they leave, I'm back to my own ways. So far the solids thing hasn't got past a simple conversation. Even my Sis in law (who lives here) insists on giving babies cereal as soon as you want them to sleep thru the night. Hello? Do these people think I'm not reading or trying to do the best thing for LO? SCARY

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Mar 2007
    Posts
    1,307

    Default Re: just need to vent

    IMO, it would not hurt to print off some accurate info from some good sites (maybe Kellymom, AAP, WHO and/or LLL) and send it to her with a note saying every mom must do what they think is best but I thought you might like some accurate info on the topic.

    I hate when uninformed people spout off on bf!
    Mom to Lainey (11-8-06)

  10. #10
    Join Date
    Oct 2007
    Posts
    254

    Default Re: just need to vent

    It is so funny how many people know so little about breastfeeding. At the same time, I know a ton of people who admit breastfeeding is better, even though they formula feed (a couple friends admit it was just too hard for them to BF). People just say crazy things sometimes though. For example, my grandmother (who is 82 years old), said maybe I should just pump and feed DD a bottle because "all that closeness isn't good." That made me laugh even though I love my grandmother dearly, and I think she had good intentions!
    Jen, momma to Charlotte Rae born 9/25/07

    Still breastfeeding !

    and !


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