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Thread: Time to Hang up the Horns

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Oct 2006
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    473

    Default Time to Hang up the Horns

    It has finally happened, my 20 month old is absolutely done with the EBM I have been sending for him to daycare. I have been down to pumping once a day for the last 8 months. Which was so easy compared to the 3 a day, then 2 a day routines. My little guy is still, and always has been a reverse cycler, he nurses right when I get home from work, bedtime, mid-night, and an early morning dream feed. At his age, I consider that to be a decent amount of mommy's milk.

    When I picked him up from daycare yesterday, the ladies broke the news to me that he just won't touch his milk anymore. He hasn't apparently for a few months. They thought it might be a phase, but it appears not to be. He barely drank more than 2-3 ounces anyway on his good days. They said that they thought I should know so I don't have to go through the 'hassle' of pumping any longer.

    I know, sounds fantastic right? I should be jumping and doing cartwheels for not having to lug the mechanical baby around any longer. I am finding myself very sad though, my whole evening routine of scalding my milk, how proud I was each time I made his lunch and labeled his milk and cup. I feel like it was one of my last connections to my son during my work day, that I had to stop what I was doing and make time for him. Now that's gone too. I know I should be happy and thrilled to be done with it, I guess I'm struggling because it wasn't me who initiated it. My son clearly won't drink it any longer, my DH even said he can't get it to take it on the days he's home with him. He still hasn't been introduced to cow's milk, and won't be anytime soon. I was aiming to pump wean at 2 years anyway, I think I had built up that it wasn't that far away and I could make it. Now I don't have to worry about that any longer.

    Today is the first day I didn't send any milk with him, last night what I pumped at work went down the drain. The next week or so, I'm going to slowly wean that last pumping session.

    I know I should be happy but I'm struggling to feel that way, he's growing up. I am thankful I still get those nursing times when we are together. My time to hang up the horns surely doesn't mean our nursing relationship is over.

    Thanks for listening

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Aug 2006
    Location
    Oklahoma
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    6,745

    Default Re: Time to Hang up the Horns

    “Only with trust, faith, and support can the woman allow the birth experience to enlighten and empower her.” - Annie Kennedy & Penny Simkin

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Nov 2006
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    miles from nowhere
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    Default Re: Time to Hang up the Horns

    I'm sorry you're feeling sad about it. I think I know how you feel to an extent, since Nora stopped taking bottles of my ebm around 12.5 mos. I was ambivalent about it- part of me was very relieved not to have to mess with it all anymore and part of me was sad that it was over. But, I have to tell you that after that first 30 minute lunch when I was able to actually go outside and enjoy the afternoon while I ate at a leisurely pace instead of scarfing something down in between getting the pump set up and rinsing it clean I was just fine with it.

    Maybe you could find something fun to do during the times when you would have been pumping- go for a walk outside or catch a few pages in a book or something. It might help ease the transition.

    and
    “We are not put on earth for ourselves, but are placed here for each other. If you are there always for others, then in time of need, someone will be there for you.”
    --Anonymous

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Feb 2008
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    2,005

    Default Re: Time to Hang up the Horns

    Proud mom of 2 boys, both weaned gradually and with love.


    Find a local LLL leader

    For each and every one of us, the person from whom we can learn the most is our own baby: listen to him. - Mary White, LLL co-founder

    The best-kept secret in child psychology is that children who were never spanked are among the best behaved."
    Murray Straus, Ph.D.

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Feb 2007
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    1,285

    Default Re: Time to Hang up the Horns

    I felt the same way when I pumped weaned when my DS turned 1. I had made the decision to stop because he really wasn't taking more than 4 or 5 ounces a day from a sippy and I just couldn't stand to pump one more minute than I actually had too. But when I stopped I felt lost - almost, like I was really missing something. But after about a week I started celebrating that I had my lunch hour back! At that point it felt like a load was lifted off my shoulders....literally, I didn't have to lug the "mechanical baby" around anymore!
    Loving mama to S - 11/06, and F - 1/09

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
    Location
    New Orleans, LA
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    5,036

    Default Re: Time to Hang up the Horns

    Mother - Wife - Artist - Cook - Writer - EnvironMENTAList - Cloth Diaperer (but we are soooo done with diapers) - Organic Health Nut...I'm sure there's more.

    DD1 - 12/15/05 Breastfed for 16.5 months
    DD2 - 8/6/07 Breastfed for 3 whole years and 3 little, extra days.

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Sep 2006
    Posts
    236

    Default Re: Time to Hang up the Horns

    My twenty month old DS has a cup of EBM during the day when we are out and nurses the rest of the day. He will only drink his breast milk if it is flavored ( we use an organic vanilla flavor) If I try to give it to him plain he points at me and says " nurse". I can understand your mixed feelings towards pumping . I pretty much ep with my DD for two years due to her prematurity. I was proud of myself - even though I hated the pump at times. Whatever decision you make you should be very proud of all your time and love you gave while you were pumping. I agree with you that the reverse cycling means your LO is getting plenty of milk. We also plan on waiting to introduce milk. It takes a great deal of dedication to have pumped and nursed for so long .

    Mama to DD Mariah 04/03 2lbs 8oz BF 2yrs 1 day!
    DS Ryan 07/06 4lbs 15 oz No solids until 18 mo's!
    "You must be the change you wish to see in the world" Gandhi

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Oct 2006
    Posts
    8,272

    Default Re: Time to Hang up the Horns

    Quote Originally Posted by LunaticLibrarian View Post
    My time to hang up the horns surely doesn't mean our nursing relationship is over.


    My experience was very similar - I was prepared to pump as long as my DS needed the EBM at preschool. But he wasn't taking more than 1 or 2 oz of EBM at preschool so I pump weaned when DS was 16 mo old.

    I similarly was very proud to be able to pump and provide that important liquid gold aspart of DS nutrition during the day. And I think that I always believed or hoped that when DS drank his EBM it made him think about me. So when I stopped pumping it felt like I was somehow letting DS down by not sending EBM to preschool with him and I felt like something was missing.

    But I can tell you that now 4 mo after pump weaning my DS is doing great at preschool and actually drinking MORE fluids during the day (soy milk & water) and that it hasn't affected our breastfeeding relationship at all. DS enthusiastically nurses as soon as he sees me in the evening and we enjoy that as special time to reconnect. He's also going strong with about 3 or 4 BF sessions per day.

    I can also say that I am quite happy to have that time back at work - and also the time in the evenings that I had previously spent scalding and washing pump parts and preparing sippy cups of EBM for the next day.
    Lynn
    DS1: bf 7/2006 -> 4/2009; multiple food allergies
    DS2: bf 9/2009 -> ???
    ; multiple food allergies
    Breastmilk Donor - http://hmbana.org/index/donatemilk
    Click HERE to learn about baby led solids (BLS) / baby led weaning (BLW)

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Oct 2006
    Posts
    473

    Default Re: Time to Hang up the Horns

    I had completely forgotten that I actually get my lunch hour back! Too caught up in my own pity party

    Tonight I was so pleased, I picked up DS and he nursed like a champ when we got home just like usual. He even blessed me with some good toddler nursing antics by driving one of his cars back and forth over the top of my breast while he nursed. He had plenty of milk b/c I actually blew off pumping all together today for the first time ever, surprisingly I wasn't engorged at all. I admit it was also nice not to have to scald, clean, store, etc. all that routine I've had drilled into my day for so long. I was thinking . . . I could get used to this.

    For all those moms who may be struggling, or at the beginning of their nursing relationship, I hope I illustrate that it is possible to make it to "extended breastfeeding" even when you work full-time, have lipase issues, and have a reverse-cycling, high-need, drama boy to boot.

    Thanks so much for your support ladies. I always feel lucky to be in such good company

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