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Thread: Very close to giving in!!

  1. #11
    Join Date
    Dec 2006

    Default Re: Very close to giving in!!

    Sorry to hear about your troubles! Many of us have been there.

    Quote Originally Posted by Gracesmom View Post
    I've been told to try to feed every 2 hours, so I am attempting that in hopes of anticipating the hunger cues. But, how can you tell the difference between just fidgeting with fingers and actual hunger?
    When in doubt, put her to the breast. I haven't read all the responses but I assume someone told you that you might be waiting too long before feeding, which results in a frantic baby that's much harder to nurse. Some babies need to nurse every hour or even more often. This is hard in the beginning but will pass. I put a rocking chair in front of the television and just held DD and nursed her as much as she needed. It's hard but more than worth it in a million different ways. You're trading some inconvenience in the early weeks for huge conveniences down the line, and of course a healthy child.

    Smacking or licking lips
    Opening and closing mouth
    Sucking on lips, tongue, hands, fingers, toes, toys, or clothing

    Rooting around on the chest of whoever is carrying him
    Trying to position for nursing, either by lying back or pulling on your clothes
    Fidgeting or squirming around a lot
    Hitting you on the arm or chest repeatedly
    Fussing or breathing fast

    Moving head frantically from side to side
    from Hunger cues-- when to feed the baby

    Really you want to try to catch her at the early signs. This might mean you're nursing much, much more frequently than you ever imagined would be necessary. And this might last a few weeks. If you just give in to it, and remind yourself that it's temporary, you might better be able to enjoy this extremely brief period of time.

    Is latching on something that just comes with time or if you can't get them to latch you might have to stop breastfeeding?
    It definitely gets easier for both mom and baby with time and practice. Given enough time and effort virtually all healthy babies can learn to nurse from the breast. Giving a bottle at this point is counter-productive and should be avoided especially if you're having latch issues.

    I guess that's my question for the whole breastfeeding journey...is it just that it takes a while for the two of us to "match up" so to speak and all of these latching, preferential feeding sides will likely improve?
    You'll both get the hang of it. It's the most natural act in the world, but unfortunately it doesn't always come naturally. The good news is that the beginning weeks are by far the hardest part. I was convinced that I'd NEVER like breastfeeding, and I just kept slogging through because I didn't have the heart to quit. I was completely wrong. I'll be grateful and amazed that I didn't give up until the day I die. I "hated" nursing for 6 or 7 weeks. And then the rest of it I totally loved. To think I could've missed out on the good part of breastfeeding is a horrible thought to me now.

    The sacrifices of parenthood start right away. But in the end they're far, far more important in the long run than the enjoyment of the newborn most of us dreamed of when we were pregnant.
    Erin (32), breastfeeding CLW, knitting cloth-diapering crocheting, heirloom tomato-growing philosophizing poker-playing feminist artist mama to my 19 month old daughter! Baby #2 due January 2009.

  2. #12
    Join Date
    Mar 2008

    Default Re: Very close to giving in!!

    You are doing a great job if you are still going!! I felt the same way when my lo was about the same age! I got to the point where I was so emotional about it that I just couldn't do it! I pumped after my milk came in and gave her pumped milk for a little over a week. Finally after that I tried again and it worked so much better to nurse her! I am not saying the same would happen for you, but if you hang in there it is worth it!!

    You can do it!! Just keep trying and it will get better!!

    Loving being a first time mom to Mia Lynn! Born 2/26/08!!

    At birth:8 lbs
    Coming home: 7 lbs 6 oz
    1 month- 9 lbs 12 oz
    8 wks- 11 lbs 6 oz
    3.5 mos- 13 lbs 4 oz
    5.5 mos- 17 lbs 2 oz
    10 mos- ~20 lbs

  3. #13
    Join Date
    Aug 2007
    Davenport, FL

    Default Re: Very close to giving in!!

    It takes time to get the hang of it. However, when you think you got it she will change her mind on something.

    Please hang in there. The best advise I ever got was stop watching the clock watch the baby. She will tell you when she is hungry. Of course there are days I can not read dd2 but we are working better together.

    Try 1.5 hrs between feedings and at 8wks she may be going to a growth spurt and needs more food. I have learned you can not overfeed a bf baby not like a ff baby.

    I am very new at bf and 7months later doing 100x's better than 4 months ago.

    you are doing fine just watch her sucking that was my dd2 biggest clue when she was young now it is her fingers in her mouth and she will stare are me...LOL
    Becky ~ 33 Dh ~ 37 (my little geek of geeks)
    Dd1 ~ Brittney 5yrs aka Bunny
    Ds ~ Xander 3yrs aka Xaxu
    Dd2 ~ Bailie 1yr aka Dede

    Still going 14months later.

    1yr goal and save $2200 average.

  4. #14
    Join Date
    Feb 2008

    Default Re: Very close to giving in!!

    Just wanted to offer some support...the advice given is all right on! I would venture to guess that no woman started breastfeeding with 0 problems. So just know that this too, shall pass, I promise!

    My LO and I had so many issues in the beginning. Every day I would want to quit! But I didn't and I'm so glad! It may seem like its never going to get better but there's a light @ the end of the tunnel!

    You never said how much your LO weighed at birth and what she?'s at right now. Is the pediatrician concerned about her weight? My LO was very slow to gain back her birth weight. I think its supposed to be 2 weeks but mine took longer. At one point my ped said she might need formula but I made it a mission to BF her more, and by squeezing just 1-2 more feedings in a day I was able to get her back up to speed.

    Like the others said, put her to the breast sooner. Even if you're not sure if she's hungry, try it anyway. If you have a slow letdown and she gets ticked, try pumping until your letdown so your LO gets instant gratification for sucking at the breast. I would also ditch the bottles. Its only going to confuse your LO.

    Best of luck and ask lots of questions! I also agree if you have access to a LC, or a local LLL, see if someone can come to your home to watch you BF.

  5. #15
    Join Date
    Mar 2008

    Default Re: Very close to giving in!!

    The latching issues are typically that she bobs her head all around and screams so much that she just won't close her mouth. I try to calm her but I think I said once earlier, the more I try to press her head towards me to guide her or sometimes even putting her in a feeding position she goes ballistic. I dont think it is that I don't have enough milk because I am able to express some out of the nipple even to try to entice her...but when she gets pumping wow is she upset. last night it was the nighttime feedings that went worse, around the 7-9pm range, is it possible you run out of milk by the end of the day? Between feeding her and pumping immediately after every 2 hours all day it seems like maybe my body can't catch up? With feedings every two hours and pumping afterwards i was able to pump about 3 oz. for the 12 hour period; I think that is enough but am unsure

  6. #16
    Join Date
    Feb 2007
    Sunny Arizona

    Default Re: Very close to giving in!!

    Your supply does decrease a little towards the end of the day but you will still be able to feed her. Honestly unless there is a specific reason on why you're pumping I would just stop. It's a lot of extra work for you, and could be leading to nipple confusion. It sounds like your supply is well established and unless you're trying to build a milk stash for your return to work, pumping isn't necessary. Even if you are trying to build a stash you could take a couple weeks off just to help get things settled with her, then start back up again.

    Did you notice any new hunger cues from that list a previous poster gave? It does sound like she's just getting over-hungry and getting worked up. Do you have any friends or family that have sucessfully BFed that could come and observe the situation? Sometimes a fresh set of eyes will see something that we would never think to mention to you. A LLL leader or a lactation consultant would be a good options too.

    You'll figure it out mama, just keep fighting the good fight

    ETA: It might help to stop watching the clock and just feed her when you notice her hunger cues. Usually putting anything in the mouth is a hunger cue at that age.

    Amy married to my bestfriend since 10/30/04

    Proud SAHM to DS born 2/17/07 and DD born 9/11/08 Both weaned together 11/2011
    Currently milk, peach, peanut and tree nut free. DD has outgrown her wheat, cheese, egg, garlic, and citrus allergies

  7. #17
    Join Date
    Jan 2006

    Default Re: Very close to giving in!!

    what are her wets like?
    that the way to know if baby is getting the milk they need.



  8. #18
    Join Date
    Dec 2006

    Default Re: Very close to giving in!!

    Are you saying that once she is nursing, she gets more upset? Could it be that she wants more milk, faster? The bottle offers a continous amount of milk with very little effort on the baby's part. The baby needs to work harder to get milk from the breast, and naturally, the flow is stronger and slower depending on how long she has been nursing in one session, and during letdown it is faster. You could try breast compressions to see if that helps. It will give her milk at a faster flow.

    Pulling her head towards the breast is probably making her angry. I would try a different position, perhaps football hold to try to get her to latch that way. I would also try to have her nurse more often than every 2 hours to ensure she is not getting overhungry and worked up. Lots of skin to skin can help calm a baby. Take your entire shirt off, including your bra. Some babies like that skin to skin during nursing. I remember for the first month I was topless all the time Some Mothers have found that taking a bath with baby also helps with calming the baby and getting baby to latch.

    Those evening hours are commonly referred to as the witching hours. Yes your milk supply is at its lowest, but its still there! Another issue is that after a long day, baby can be overstimulated or overtired. Some people dim the lights, quiet the house, and just sit and nurse the baby. Having a good support team can help this.

    Here is an article from Dr Jack Newman regarding fussiness at the breast:

    And an article on Breast Compression:

    It sounds like you have been pumping, and tried that method and its not helping. If you don't have to, I would stop pumping. It is way too much work when right now you eed to be resting and nursing and taking care of you and baby.

    Nursing the girl with kaleidoscope eyes

    Mama to Daniel (12/3/06) and Lucy Jane (8/28/08)

  9. #19
    Join Date
    Jun 2006
    COUGARTOWN Baby! From here on in!

    Default Re: Very close to giving in!!

    I would say that catching her ques earlier like google said would probably fet you best results. Also, have you tried swaddling her before bringing her to the breast? You talk about her getting all worked up. And possible issue with confinement. But honestly, the baby just came from a place of confinement 24/7. Swaddling, has a calming effect in that it's mimicing the womb. Try getting her swaddled before bring her to the breast and then simply getting her to the breast 10-15minutes sooner than you are now.

    Way too lazy for formula

  10. #20
    Join Date
    Mar 2008

    Default maybe a silly question

    Okay I know new babies (Grace is 9 days old) sleep a lot, and maybe I just have a good baby but she does sleep ALOT . How do I know that she is not "failing to thrive" because of malnourishment? If she was malnourished wouldn't she be crying all of the time?
    She does have wet diapers and bowel movements throughout the day, I have not counted the wets but we havn't ever had a dry diaper even if she doesn't cry to complain of being wet.
    Maybe I am being neurotic!

    Also, does breast milk production vary by day? Yesterday by the end of the day I had pumped 3 oz today I barely have over an ounce (still just a few more pumping sessions left in the day)

    And how do know if I am having trouble with my milk coming in? I never have felt engorged...the closest I feel is some hardness of my breasts and some mild tingling in my nipples around the time of feeding....I have yet to feel what a "let down" feels like too....

    Am I analyzing this too much or what?

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