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Thread: Very close to giving in!!

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Mar 2008
    Posts
    6

    Default Very close to giving in!!

    It seems that my frustration is common from reading everyone else's posts. But nonetheless I dont know if I can do this! My daughter is 8 days old and I have been breastfeeding from her birth. In recent days we supplemented a tiny bit with a bottle until my milk came in because she had lost too much weight but she pretty much exclusively feeds by breast and now I think I am able to pump enough during a day that I can supplement her with breast milk via a bottle if needed (I can't pump much more than a half ounce though at a time- is that normal?). The problem is is that she gets so worked up prior to feedings sometimes that I cannot get her to latch on. She bobs her head all around and if I try to firmly push her into the breast it makes it that much worse, I think because she feels restrained and that makes her more angry. So some feedings go LOUSY and take forever especially since I am trying to put her to the breast every 2 hours. I get frustrated and she is screaming her lungs out because she just won't close her mouth. I try EVERY position in those instances and that is when I want to throw my hands in the air. She also started favoring one side, although today I have exclusively tried to feed her initally on her "difficult" side. Any pointers for getting her to close her mouth and to get her past that writhing stage? We even try to take breaks to calm her but the minute I put her back in any breastfeeding position she screams again. Please offer any tips, sometimes I feel like I just can't do this and then I read posts where people have 3 weeks of frustration and I feel like I just want to ENJOY my time with her not stress about every feed!

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Feb 2007
    Location
    Sunny Arizona
    Posts
    3,171

    Default Re: Very close to giving in!!

    Hi, congrats on the birth of your daughter! Everyone gets frustrated, while nursing is the natural way to feed your baby, we're not born with the knowledge. Give both of you some time to learn how to do it, it takes practice.

    That being said, is she fussy before you try to nurse her or just during nursing? If it's before, maybe watch a little closer to see if there are cues you haven't picked up on yet that she's getting hungry. My son sucked his fist, would turn his head to the side looking for a nipple, stuff like that. She just might be needing to nurse more often, some kids are super eaters.

    If she gets fussy when you put her on the breast this is a great website that might be able to help you pinpoint the problem without me asking you a million questions.

    Hang in there mama, everyone has rough patches during this crazy journey. Once you figure it out, it'll get easier. If that website doesn't seem to help with your problem then maybe call your local LLL leader. She should be happy to help you over the phone http://www.llli.org/WebUS.html

    Keep coming to this site as you have questions, there are a ton of women who would love to help you anyway they can. Good luck!!

    Amy married to my bestfriend since 10/30/04

    Proud SAHM to DS born 2/17/07 and DD born 9/11/08 Both weaned together 11/2011
    Currently milk, peach, peanut and tree nut free. DD has outgrown her wheat, cheese, egg, garlic, and citrus allergies

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Feb 2007
    Posts
    713

    Default Re: Very close to giving in!!

    Hi there!

    Don't give up, it's still very early in your bf relationship. Your pumping amount is superb for her only being 8 days old. To be honest with you I never pumped more than 1 oz when my DS was 2 months old. Sometimes it depends on the pump, but the more the baby nurses the more milk you will make. She's not eating very much because she isn't very old.

    The screaming fit may be because she's too hungry when you finally realize she wants to eat. Try reading her early feeding cues. If she sucks on her fingers, plays with her tongue, or if her blanket rubs against her cheek and she goes right for it, those are early hungar signs. Crying is a late hunger sign. so if you feed her before she gets herself in a fuss she should be ok. Just remain calm and cool (I know easier said than done). If you become stressed the baby will become stressed as well and that will hinder the breastfeeding as well.

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Aug 2007
    Posts
    1,721

    Default Re: Very close to giving in!!

    and congrats on your LO!
    You may want to ditch the bottles completely. That could be the very reason she's not latching on and getting mad. Nipple confusion is very real and a big problem for many who start with bottles (or any artificial nipple) too soon.

    Many babies lose weight before they gain, up to something like 10%. How much did your LO lose?

    ~*Allee*~

    Damon 8/5/99 Heaven 7/24/01 Jasmine 7/20/07

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Mar 2007
    Posts
    1,421

    Default Re: Very close to giving in!!

    Hi there! and

    I just wanted to add some advice about the timing of feeding. I found it worked best for me if I knew to anticipate when my DS would be hungry. I started writing down the times he was eating...after a while I saw a pattern. It wasn't specific times of the day, it was more length between feedings...maybe if you did that you could get started before she is so hungry shes screaming. It all takes practice, none of us were experts when we started, and after a year I still hardly one at all. You can do this
    Danielle

    Mom to Gage 12/28/06

    Wife to Trinity 6/21/03 my best friend

    ed for year, finally done!!!!
    for more than a year now!

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Jan 2008
    Posts
    707

    Default Re: Very close to giving in!!

    I just wanted to give you a (and remember that in the middle of the night when dd is ) i can't speak for everyone, but there are times when lo's just scream, at least mine does and it is very hard, but she will eventually calm down and i can get her to nurse, but it does take time. and that is when you should enjoy bfing the most


    Tina - mom of Addison Belle
    12/11/07
    5lbs 13oz - 18in



    and my VBAC ~ Olivia Grace
    9/12/09
    6lbs 8z - 18.5in

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Mar 2008
    Posts
    6

    Default Re: Very close to giving in!!

    I've been told to try to feed every 2 hours, so I am attempting that in hopes of anticipating the hunger cues. But, how can you tell the difference between just fidgeting with fingers and actual hunger? Is latching on something that just comes with time or if you can't get them to latch you might have to stop breastfeeding?
    I guess that's my question for the whole breastfeeding journey...is it just that it takes a while for the two of us to "match up" so to speak and all of these latching, preferential feeding sides will likely improve?

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Dec 2006
    Posts
    9,280

    Default Re: Very close to giving in!!

    First of all, here is a cheer for you: You CAN do this!

    Those early days and weeks are hard and challenging. Breastfeeding is new to both you and your daughter. So is this whole Mother/Daughter relationship. I'm guessing you're pretty tired, and thats making this all even more frustrating.

    Can you be more specific about the latch issues that you are experiencing? I remember those days when my son would scream at the breast and just not latch on. I would cry, he would cry and I would feel like a failure! Breastfeeding is a natural act, but it does NOT come naturally to a lot of us. There is a learning curve. But do you know what? You will master it,and you will be so proud of yourself and so happy with what you are giving to your daughter.

    When my son would scream, I would hand him to DH. DH would offer his clean pinky finger for DS to suck on. It would calm him down enough that DH could hand him back and he would latch on. That usually happened when he slept too long and woke up overtired.

    It could also be that your DD is experiencing a bit of nipple confusion going back and forth between breast and bottle. If you are confident in your supply, I would keep getting her to the breast and avoid using bottles and any other artificial nipples (pacifiers).

    You CAN do this, Mama. We're all here for you.

    Lyn
    Lyn
    Nursing the girl with kaleidoscope eyes


    Mama to Daniel (12/3/06) and Lucy Jane (8/28/08)

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Mar 2008
    Posts
    1

    Default Re: Very close to giving in!!

    First, congratulations on your decision to breastfeed your child. I remember how hard it was for Charlie and me in the beginning. I remember so well because the beginning was only in January. I wanted to give up several times. However, I met with a lactation counselor several times. Sometimes we just talked. She would watch me feed my lo. She would then give me tips and advice. Do you have a lactation counselor you can talk to? If you do take advantage. They are a wealth of knowledge. Patience is key. Don't give up on yourself. The fact that you haven't given up yet is a testament to how strong you are. There is truth in what they say. It gets easier.
    Hang in there!

  10. #10
    Join Date
    Feb 2008
    Location
    Houston Texas
    Posts
    584

    Default Re: Very close to giving in!!

    Nursing is a struggle for different reasons at different times. Hang in there and know that it will all pass and you will be BF like a pro. We have encountered every challenge known to woman and still have our issues off and on. The reward is so worth the callenge and I can't imagine it any other way. I had trouble with my first and couldn't ever get the hang of it and didn't have LLL to guide me. I gave up and that hurt me worse than any struggle we had trying to get BF going. I regreted it from the moment I gave in and made sure I was sucessful the next two times. I know it gets difficult but you can do it! I think the best thing is trying to get ahead of the hunger cues and that will make it easier to get the LO latched on. YOU CAN DO THIS! COngrats on the new LO!
    wife , mom, maid , cook , taxi. All in a days work

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