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Thread: First day at daycare

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Jan 2008
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    102

    Default First day at daycare

    So today was our LO's first day at daycare. Since I'm a school teacher and have spring break right now I'm taking our LO this week to get adjusted (2 hours today and add an hour everyday). Man i've been crying and crying this morning. I feel so lost without him. I don't even know what to do with myself. Why is this so hard??? I haven't been away from him for more than 2 hours his entire life. Just needed a shoulder to cry on. I hope this gets better everyday or I'm going to really lose it.

    Me (25)
    DH (26)
    DS Born December 5, 2007


    Nursed 1 year and we are going on strong!

    I am:
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  2. #2
    Join Date
    Mar 2007
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    1,307

    Default Re: First day at daycare



    The first couple of weeks are hard. It does get easier.

    Mom to Lainey (11-8-06)

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Mar 2007
    Posts
    87

    Default Re: First day at daycare

    Kilamonster, I completely understand the feeling. I am going through the same thing. My LO just started daycare last week and this morning I had to walk away from him as he was crying in another person's arms. I don't know that I've ever felt worse. I have this awful feeling in the pit of my stomach and I can't concentrate at work knowing that he is missing me.

    My sister said something that really helped me. It's precisely because you have built up such a close relationship with your son that makes it difficult to leave him. So that feeling of loss right now only signifies the strength of your bond, and how much closer you will feel to him when you are together. And, in time, since your son will be secure in his attachment to you, he will be more independent.

    I hope that helps you, and everyone tells me it will get easier. So I'm sending you plenty of and today.
    Sarah
    mommy to Liam, born 2/15/07
    14 months of breastfeeding and counting!

    "The amount of time I spend attached to this machine..." - Officer Danni Sofer on her breast pump, on "The Shield"

    Another cloth convert

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Feb 2008
    Posts
    12

    Default Re: First day at daycare

    My LD started daycare last week and it was one of the worst days of my life. I was lucky because she was asleep when I left so it was a little easier on me slipping out but it still broke my heart. Especially when I came home and changed her diaper and saw the horrible rash on her behind. According to her daily log they had a 5 hour span without changing her diaper...boy was I ill. It just goes to show that no one can look after her as good as mom. Now I'm on a mission to find another provider which isn't easy because we are not familiar with this area...it's just terrible we can't all be SAHM

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Jan 2008
    Posts
    102

    Default Re: First day at daycare *update*

    So I picked him up yesterday and he was fussing by himself on the floor while the DC lady was sitting in the chair. She said he has just started to cry. (still makes me upset that she wasn't trying to comfort him but whatever). He wouldn't take a bottle from them but when I tried he played with it a little and took it.

    So I took him today for 3 hours. I walked into the building and heard him screaming from the door. I walked in and they were trying to feed him a bottle (it had been 4 hours since he had eaten anything). They said "he just won't take a bottle". He was sooo upset and I could tell he had been crying a lot cause his clothes were all wet from him sweating and crying. I tried and he wouldn't take the bottle from me either. I would just put the bottle close to his mouth he would screaming and throw his body back. The DC lady said he is to traumatized to try anymore. So I took him home and he nursed A LONG TIME. I don't know what to do!!!!! It seems like he needs more one on one attention and someone who has the time to work with him on a bottle. I don't know if they can give that to him with the other babies they have to take care of. I don't know of anyone who could watch him in our house and don't know of someone i could trust

    Anyone have any advice?

    Me (25)
    DH (26)
    DS Born December 5, 2007


    Nursed 1 year and we are going on strong!

    I am:
    , , , and

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
    Location
    New Orleans, LA
    Posts
    5,036

    Default Re: First day at daycare

    Mother - Wife - Artist - Cook - Writer - EnvironMENTAList - Cloth Diaperer (but we are soooo done with diapers) - Organic Health Nut...I'm sure there's more.

    DD1 - 12/15/05 Breastfed for 16.5 months
    DD2 - 8/6/07 Breastfed for 3 whole years and 3 little, extra days.

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Mar 2007
    Posts
    1,421

    Default Re: First day at daycare

    I'm sorry this has been hard on you, although I think its hard on most of us. It will get easier, I found that after I got to know the DCP people it was easier. there really isn't much I can do but offer a
    Danielle

    Mom to Gage 12/28/06

    Wife to Trinity 6/21/03 my best friend

    ed for year, finally done!!!!
    for more than a year now!

  8. #8

    Default Re: First day at daycare

    Awww that makes me sad, too. I'm sorry, mama.

    How do you feel about talking to the provider(s) about comforting him when he's crying, instead of leaving him sitting on the floor?

    And how do you feel about trying alternate feeding methods? There are other ways to get milk into a baby. Things like sippy cups with the valve removed, medicine cups, medicine droppers, shot glasses, measuring spoons, periodontal syringes.

    Perhaps you could ask the providers to feed baby at a set time, say 90min or 2hrs, after you've dropped him off, something that's similar to when he'd normally nurse if you were there? That way, they'd be offering the bottle before he got really really upset and hungry.
    Shannon
    LLL Leader

    Protect your privacy online; don't use your full name. Click My Alias at the top left corner.

    I'm horrible at html and encoding links, so I apologize in advance for all the long links!

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Oct 2006
    Posts
    8,272

    Default Re: First day at daycare



    My DS would never take a bottle from me (or if I was around).

    When my DS started at day care he was 3 mo old. For the first couple of weeks he would barely take any EBM from the bottle at day care. We knew that he knew how to take a bottle because DH had been practicing with DS since DS was 1 mo old.

    From what I understand it is VERY common for LO to take a week or more to adjust to a new situation (new place, new routines, new care providers) and that during that time they may take very little to nothing from a bottle but reverse cycle by cluster nursing in the evening and all night long.

    In our case - one day DS seemed to suddenly seem to decide one day that the day care providers were ok and started happily sucking down his bottles. As long as DS was having plenty of wet & poopie diapers I didn't worry if he didn't take a bottle during the day.

    Info on bottle feeding a breastfed baby that may help - there may be things that you can print out and give to your care provider.

    Hang in there!
    Last edited by lsksam; March 18th, 2008 at 01:18 PM. Reason: typos
    Lynn
    DS1: bf 7/2006 -> 4/2009; multiple food allergies
    DS2: bf 9/2009 -> ???
    ; multiple food allergies
    Breastmilk Donor - http://hmbana.org/index/donatemilk
    Click HERE to learn about baby led solids (BLS) / baby led weaning (BLW)

  10. #10
    Join Date
    Jun 2007
    Posts
    105

    Default Re: First day at daycare

    Can they try feeding him before he gets so hungry?? Maybe he'd be more willing to take the bottle then.
    When I first went back to work after having dd, she was almost 11 weeks old and it was really hard. Now I've been back at work for a little over a year and it's still hard, but not like it was at first. (I have to confess I have it easier though since MIL cares for dd and she's with my niece too)
    DD loves playing with her cousin and they are great buddies so that makes me happy. If your son grows up with other children at DC they may be close too and have similar interests. For some of us, working is something we have to do and we're doing the best we can- it doesn't make us bad parents though. And for the record- the last two days when I've gone to leave dd at my IL's she's cried and wanted to me to keep holding her. I've felt pretty bad about that too, but she's really happy to see me at night when I pick her up! Good luck- you're a great mom!

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