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Thread: Need some support

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Jul 2006
    Posts
    40

    Unhappy Need some support

    Hi- I am pretty new here and hopefully I can vent and get some support. It's 6am and I am crying because I am so frustrated.

    My dd is 12 weeks old and I swear it is not getting easier. She has always done 3-4 hour stretches and the occasional 5-6 hour ones. But for the past few weeks her sleeping is all over the map. Once I think it is getting longer one night, the next she is up every hour nursing. On top of that she decides she's wide awake at 5am playing. Her naps are terrible, usually 30 min cap naps. If I work at it, I can get her to sleep sometimes 2 hours - thats nursing when she wakes.

    She cosleeps in a co sleeper next to dh and I. Of course dh sleeps through the night and has no clue.He knows I am frustrated and tries to take up the household slack. I am at my wits end. Most of my friends don't understand cause their babies slept though the night almost immediately. Of course people say give her formula, your not making enough milk, or let her cry it out - which I am not doing either.

    I think I must have a high-needs/difficult baby. She doesn't want anyone holding her. Screams at family members/friends if they hold her or even look at her. I can barely have anyone watch her. She is so alert 24/7 she has to be contantly entertained - only likes the bouncy seat, swing or Baby Einstein gym for 10 minutes and then fusses. She has never been one of those babies sleeping so peacefully in the carrier in the store.

    Dh tries to help but I think he feels he can't do much cause he doesn't have the boobs. I pump sometimes so I can leave for a little while. She has gotten better with him.

    I guess I am just venting. It's overwheming with the household stuff, trying to start back working after she goes to bed (have my own business) and deal with her.I am starting to feel resentful towards her and I feel horrible about that.

    Anybody out there has gone through this or has a child like this? Any support and advice would be welcomed. Thanks for listening

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
    Posts
    18,063

    Default Re: Need some support

    do you have a sling? That works with some high need babies, and babies that cry, cry less when they are in the sling.
    dr sears has some good things about fussy babies heres a link
    http://www.askdrsears.com/html/5/T051200.asp

    my kids all hated their car seat.. I didn't find out about slings untill my 4th and that was a life saver. It made things so much beter. Much less crying and fussing.
    Some fresh air during the day helped me too, my younger 2 would go for a walk after my older ones got to school. I pushed my 2 year old in the stroller and used the sling for my newborn. Anyways after we had a walk we would all have lunch and then take a nap.
    Are you taking a nap during the day? That might help at least untill she starts sleeping beter at night. If you don't want to sleep use that time to watch a little tv or read a book, but just rest is best. Even if its just for an hour.

    have you tried lll meetings? you would meet some like minded moms, that helps to know that you are not alone!
    tell your hubby to what you need him to do, its hard sometimes but they realy have no clue whats bugging us unless we talk to them and tell them.
    your baby is still young and its a big adjustment bringing a new baby home, your still learning about each other!

  3. #3
    Join Date
    May 2006
    Posts
    1,073

    Default Re: Need some support

    Hang in there! My dd is 5 months old (today) Let me preface by saying she actually slept for two weeks from 8pm to about 5 or 6 a.m. and took two 1 -2 hour naps per day. Now let me give you a glimpse of this past week.... She has not napped for more than 20 minutes at a time and has been up around the clock every 2 hours to eat. I'm blaming a growth spurt - it makes me feel better. To say the least I'm walking around like a frustrated zombie. Same here w/ hubby - he thinks my boobies are the be all end all and therefore he can't do much to help.

    The sling is a great idea - since dd is so overtired I've been wearing her almost constantly this week. It's been the only way to get anything done. Luckily she's able to entertain herself any other time.

    We went thru the same thing with dd only allowing me to hold her when she was your lo's age. That didn't help w/ hubby's helpfulness - he thought she didn't like him. Thankfully she's outgrown that. I keep saying her 4th month she became a new baby - attitude, attention span, sleeping etc. Hang in there, it REALLY will get better.

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Jun 2006
    Posts
    48

    Default Re: Need some support

    Try co-sleeping with your baby nest to you that way baby can nurse and you don't have to do as much. My baby is almost 6 months and I literally just leave my shirt up for her and she finds my nipple...lol. I barely wake up!! Sleep with baby face-to-face and in the crook of your arm. I swear this was the only way I got any sleep and still get any sleep. Good luck!!!

  5. #5
    Join Date
    May 2006
    Posts
    361

    Default Re: Need some support

    I want to second (third) the sling suggestion. My dd is 12 weeks, 13 tmorrow, and rides in the sling almost constantly. She has been extra fussy today. I LOVE the basic fleece pouch from www.kangarookorner.com It is very helpful because it soothes her and leaves my hands free for other things. I actually did 35 min on the eliptical with her in there today. I hope it gets better soon!
    Last edited by Mommyto3; July 14th, 2006 at 10:01 PM.

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