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Thread: Need some encouragement

  1. #11
    Join Date
    Feb 2008
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    20

    Talking Update!! :-)

    Thank you everyone for your amazing advice, messages, encouragement!!!! :-) I went to see the LC on Thursday and she suggested that I try to solely breastfeed during the day as often as he wants, and only supplement for the last feed of the day. It's been a total leap of faith (as relactatingmomforthelord said!!). My parents have been staying with me and encouraging me that he IS getting enough to eat, but for the past three days he has had NOTHING but breastmilk except for 3 oz the first night, 4 oz the 2nd night and 2 oz last night of formula!! ALL DAY!!! I am nearly in tears I am so happy! We are SO close to being there!!

    It IS possible!! Everyone who is working at this now and is feeling down, it CAN happen! Just when I was feeling at my lowest, like I was never going to get there, I found this place, some amazing advice, and all of my prayers (and the prayers of others!) pulled through for me and I noticed a huge increase in my supply.

    THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU everyone for your amazing advice and encouragement!

  2. #12
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
    Posts
    1,437

    Default Re: Need some encouragement

    Woo Hoo!! So Happy for you!!

    Keep up the great work, mama! You're almost there!!!

    Tiana

  3. #13
    Join Date
    Jul 2007
    Posts
    180

    Default Re: Need some encouragement

    That is such incredible news. I'm really proud of you for sticking with it!

  4. #14
    Join Date
    Oct 2007
    Posts
    246

    Default Re: Need some encouragement

    Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!

  5. #15
    Join Date
    Feb 2008
    Posts
    20

    Default Re: Need some encouragement

    So my excitement was short lived.... We're back to formula supplements at each feed after going to the LC yesterday... My little one only gained 5 1/2 oz in 12 days and she said that is the MINIMUM that they like to see.. And he hasn't had a #2 in nearly 2 weeks.... *sigh*..... It's like I've recessed as well because last week I felt FULL in the mornings and between feedings. LIke hard full (which I have never felt before because my milk never really "came in" after he was born despite FREQUENT nursing...) but this week I don't feel full really ever.

    Sometimes I wonder if this is going to give me PPD. If I can't breastfeed him and not have to worry about the supplement anymore or whether he's hungry am I just going to give up. The fact that he gained so little these past two weeks proves to me that he is happy to starve. He slept just fine, he never seemed fussy, and I can't do that to him. I don't want him to be going hungry. The thought of that breaks my heart as much as the thought me never being able to fully breastfeed, because I know if I don't get there soon my husband is going to say ENOUGH is enough because this is totally consuming my life. I'm in tears just writing this because it is so devastating for me. My body let me down the first time when my milk never came in and now it's letting me down again. My husband thinks there is something "wrong" with me that I just can't make enough milk and that all this is in vain. (Not in a bad way, he's just worried that there's something wrong with my hormones or something that I'm struggling with this). I can't think of what I did differently last week that I am not doing this week. Is it possible that I will never be able to develop a full milk supply???

    Back to the drawing board.........

  6. #16
    Join Date
    Mar 2008
    Posts
    9

    Default Re: Need some encouragement

    No advice, but (((Hugs))). I totally know how you feel because my DD is another one who won't fuss when she's not getting enough. It's so hard to know when they're truly full. Hang in there, things are sure to look better tomorrow!

  7. #17
    Join Date
    Jul 2007
    Posts
    180

    Default Re: Need some encouragement

    I honestly don't know what your body is going through because I'm not there and I'm not an LC, but I think you should have a long talk with yourself about your goals and what you feel in your heart is the right thing to do. If you want support, we are here for you. If you need answers, there are people who can do that for you also. But only you can know what is best for your body and your baby. I can tell you that there is nothing "wrong" with you though. And there is nothing to feel guilty about. Nature works the way it does for a reason, and sometimes those reasons never make themselves known.

    I think the main thing I would ask myself in your position is how many wet diapers he's having in a day. The 'dirty' ones are not as important. Some babies don't poop all that much and once a week or so falls under the range of normal for a breastfed baby. Forgive me if I am asking you to repeat yourself because I have a TERRIBLE memory, but are you using an SNS? Will he latch onto your breast? If that is the case then I do think you can have a successful breastfeeding relationship, just maybe with a supplementer and a not so full milk supply. Even that in itself is wonderful and there is no reason to use bottles if he will latch.

    I feel so sad reading your post. I know how bad you must feel. I wish I could give you a .
    Last edited by a_hex; April 3rd, 2008 at 09:37 AM.

  8. #18
    Join Date
    Jun 2006
    Location
    Not around here as much :(
    Posts
    12,132

    Default Re: Need some encouragement

    But you are making milk mama it can be a long process but he IS gaining. So beit at the minimum, but he is gaining. I am sorry you feel defeated but you can do this
    Click here to find an LLL leader near you...or call 1 877 4 LA LECHE for help now.

    "No one can make you feel inferior without your consent."
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    Emerson


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    I lost 22 lbs in 8 months... with a bit of determination and common sense information from this book.

  9. #19
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
    Posts
    1,437

    Default Re: Need some encouragement

    Hang in there, mama! You are really doing quite well. Keep up the good work...you can do this!

    Tiana

  10. #20
    Join Date
    Oct 2007
    Posts
    246

    Default Re: Need some encouragement

    I feel so personally your fear and disappointment. These are our babies -- who we want to take the BEST care of. We don't want to harm them in any way. It hurts so much to find out that they are not gaining like we thought and especially when they seem content.

    But I want to come from a different angle. First of all, you have not caused any damage to your lo. They are much tougher than they look. God designed babies to withstand all kinds of difficulties. Babies get sick and maintain weight (instead of gaining) and then catch right up when they feel better. They are designed to do "make up" growth. So you can rest assured that you have not hurt your son. I promise. One of my sons came to us through foster care and was severely malnurished. He caught up in a matter of weeks and just flurished. They are very adaptable and strong. Your son was in his mommy's loving arms being nurtured. He will do any catching up he needs with the supplements you are providing. (And because you are a caring, loving mommy you have caught this early and are fixing it).

    That said, why is it that if he is gaining the minimum you need to supplement at each feeding? Could you try supplementing 2 oz at bedtime and see what his weight does? Why supplement so much when he IS gaining? I would think that supplementing at every feeding would suppress your supply.

    I NEVER feel full anymore (even when I wind up pumping off six ounces of milk -- I would have never known if I hadn't pumped). If you are nursing on a regular basis, you are not loosing milk. Waiting until you feel full is actually a good way to loose milk.

    Quote Originally Posted by Angie0110 View Post
    Sometimes I wonder if this is going to give me PPD. If I can't breastfeed him and not have to worry about the supplement anymore or whether he's hungry am I just going to give up.
    I have felt this way too. I truly had to grieve the loss of exclusive breastfeeding. Then when I really considered giving up, I realized that the loss of the nursing relationship was an additional loss. And that the loss of any amount of breastmilk was a big loss. There are countless women that breastfeed that do not exclusively breastfeed. Any amount of breastmilk is very beneficial. It is not an all of nothing situation. If you have to supplement to meet his needs, that does not make you any less of a breastfeeding mother or him any less of a breastfeed baby. You are simply meeting his needs.

    You said that your husband has about had it; I am reading between the lines and hearing that you are feeling tired, too. There is nothing wrong with taking a "relactating break" where you just nurse and supplement and don't pump to increase. (I think that the increasing the milk stage is the terribly time consuming, draining part). Then after you have rested up a bit, you can re-evaluate what you want to do. There are no rules.

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