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Thread: can't go to sleep on his own

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Jun 2006
    Posts
    38

    Exclamation can't go to sleep on his own

    hello. i have searching for a thread that talks about this and haven't been able to find anything. so if i over looked i'm sorry. i am very new to this message board stuff. well to start i have 5 boys. i should be a pro right? WRONG. it amazes me every time how differetn each one is. anyway, my younges is 9 mths(almost 10 mths). we co sleep since day one. i nursed all the kids and the last three we co sleeped. well the problem i am having now is that the baby will not and can not go to sleep without me laying with him while he nurses. i can't rock him, walk him, pet him, anything but lay down and nurse. i personally don't have a problem if it were just him and me, but i have a full house and it is starting to cause some conflict and jealousy. i can't let him cry, tried it. no one in the house can let him cry as far as that goes. my question is this.. will he eventually learn to go to sleep by his self? or will i being laying down next to him and nursing him when he leaves for college? thank you for any advice and help.
    candy

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Feb 2006
    Posts
    1,168

    Default Re: can't go to sleep on his own

    Welcome, Candy -- I'm glad you jumped in and asked your question. I always love to hear from mothers of several children, as they all say how wonderfully different each of their children is. It's a wonderful reminder to me (mother of one and stepmom of another) that each child is an individual and any problems we're having aren't ALL about me and my parenting skills (or lack thereof!)

    I think a lot of parents find that 9-10 months or so is a time when sleep gets trickier instead of easier. I know that was a hard time for us -- my son just had a really hard time unwinding from an active day, and it really took a lot of work to get him to sleep, especially at night when the house might be noisier than in the daytime.

    No, it won't last forever; yes, he will eventually learn to go to sleep by himself. Or, in your case, it may be more likely that he will learn to sleep with an older brother or two!

    Could you try making the half-hour around his bedtime a family quiet time, so that everyone needs to be in their bedroom doing something quiet (no TV, no loud games)? If you have little ones, maybe an older boy or your partner (if you have one) could read them stories. That way everyone has something quiet to do that does not require Mom's supervision, just for the little while that you are nursing the baby down.

    Good luck with this! I admire you! I hope you will come back here as your busy schedule allows to share your vast mothering experience with us newbies!

    --Rebecca

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Mar 2006
    Posts
    30

    Default Re: can't go to sleep on his own

    Hi Candy,
    I've gotten myself in this same situation with both of my girls. I have a 2 year old and an eight month old. I nursed my first for one year. For that entire year, that is how I always got her down to sleep....laying down and nursing her. I do the same for my second daughter. I only work two days per week, but when they are at daycare for those two days my daycare provider lays my baby down in a pack and play and she says my baby fusses for about 5 minutes and then falls asleep. I'm amazed, but I think she just knows that I'm not around at that point. When I weaned my first DD at a year, I started offering a cup at nap/bedtime and initially she was upset but within about a week realized we weren't going to nurse and acclimated to the new situation fine.

    Like you, I do feel bad at times with the time I spend away from my 2 year old while I'm laying in bed with my infant getting her to sleep. But, I really love that special time and I know that it's not going to last forever. I try to coordinate the time I spend nursing my infant to sleep during times when my toddler is occupied with something of interest. We're considering having a third baby and I do wonder about making this the routine again with 3 kids in the mix. I think it would be a challenge, but you know what??? I love co-sleeping with my babies so much, so I would imagine we would get back into the same pattern again.

    Best wishes and take care!

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Jun 2006
    Posts
    38

    Default Re: can't go to sleep on his own

    Thank you for your replies. Just the "not alone" idea helps more than people realize sometimes. I do love co sleeping and laying there nursing also. Wouldn't trade it for nothing. I think maybe the sounds of the house may be part of it. The other kids are really good, for the most part, about not making a lot of noise. Maybe there is not enough noise, because he is use to that. I do also have to tell myself he is still a little baby, so he is learning at a crazy rate. Not to mention he just started crawling so that is a new adventure that he is really busy with too. He is a busy little bee. Thank you so much again. I really love this place.
    Candy

  5. #5
    Join Date
    May 2006
    Posts
    54

    Default Re: can't go to sleep on his own

    Five boys?? Wow, you have my husband's "dream" family He envisioned his very own baseball team...Our first child was a girl, so that vision went out the window! But, who says she can't play baseball

    Anyhoo, I am in the same boat as you. DS is 5.5month old and can not put himself back to self during the night. Last night, he woke up 3x and the other night 4 or 5x (I lose count from the sleep deprivation). Last night, I tried to "trick" him by slipping in a binky while he was nursing. Ooooo, he got sooo mad Anyway, I'm going to research the No Cry Sleep solution and see if that will help any. I have been playing lullabye music while I nurse him at bedtime. I'm hoping the music will provide him with another bedtime cue and eventually phase out the nursing part. Could you try doing that? The music might drown out the other household noises (kind of like how white noise is used).

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Jun 2006
    Posts
    48

    Default Re: can't go to sleep on his own

    My baby does the same thing..she only goes to sleep if I nurse. We cosleep but my husband doesnt seem to get enough room in the bed...lol...time for a bigger bed.
    people keep telling me to put her on a schedule and not to put her to sleep on the breast...which is the only way she falls asleep. I have a routine at night and everything...o well!

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