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Thread: Am I a bad mommy?

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Jan 2008
    Posts
    187

    Default Am I a bad mommy?

    I wanted to somehow get my DS to stick to a time frame when it comes to eating. Since he started to sleep at night and maybe only feed once if at all, during the day if he is asleep I will wake him to feed. To keep him on the same cycle. So he eats 7, 10, 1, 4 7, 10 etc. is it bad that I wake him from his naps during the day to feed? He seem's to keep to the 10pm 4am 7am cycle at night.

    Jake: Born 11/15/07
    6lbs 5oz ~ 19inch and 3/4's long

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Feb 2007
    Posts
    1,285

    Default Re: Am I a bad mommy?

    No, you are not a bad mommy ! If it were me, I would not wake my LO from naptime to eat. Is there a specific reason for waking him, besides wanting to keep him on a schedule? As babies grow older, their nursing habits do change and I always just fed my son on demand (I would nurse when he showed signs of hunger), as opposed to keeping him on a schedule.

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Jan 2008
    Posts
    187

    Default Re: Am I a bad mommy?

    Well, I want to keep him on the schedule AND I'm just not type to nurse in public and selfishly I don't want to pump if I don't have to anymore. So if I keep him on his schedule then I know when I can go out and how much time we have to be out etc.

    I know that this could change at any point in time and if he were to show signs of hunger before the 3hr time mark then of course I would feed him but if he's not then I just rather keep to it. IF it's not a bad thing that is. His naps go anywhere from 30mins - 3hrs that's why I tend to wake him. He will be 4 months old on Saturday.

    Jake: Born 11/15/07
    6lbs 5oz ~ 19inch and 3/4's long

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Oct 2006
    Posts
    8,272

    Default Re: Am I a bad mommy?

    I personally wouldn't wake my baby from a nap to nurse. I'd wait and nurse him when he woke up and whenever he was ready to nurse.

    My personal experience is that with a baby flexibility is key - as baby grows his sleep and eating needs will change, especially when going through growth spurts.

    And once you think you've got your baby figured out, it's likely that he'll "change the rules" on you.

    You say you're not the type to nurse in public. Would you be interested in tips for being able to nurse in public totally discretely?
    Lynn
    DS1: bf 7/2006 -> 4/2009; multiple food allergies
    DS2: bf 9/2009 -> ???
    ; multiple food allergies
    Breastmilk Donor - http://hmbana.org/index/donatemilk
    Click HERE to learn about baby led solids (BLS) / baby led weaning (BLW)

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Jan 2008
    Posts
    187

    Default Re: Am I a bad mommy?

    Sure, I'll be more then happy to hear what tips ya have : )

    Jake: Born 11/15/07
    6lbs 5oz ~ 19inch and 3/4's long

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Oct 2006
    Posts
    8,272

    Default Re: Am I a bad mommy?

    - wear a nursing tank top (or any tank top with a stretchy neckline) under another shirt to keep your tummy and back covered

    - find places to sit where you can have privacy - like a big chair with a tall back and sides, or in the corner of a restaurant

    - use a nursing cover (one brand - http://www.bebeaulait.com/index.php)

    - use a pouch (like this http://www.hotslings.com/) or a ring sling (like this http://www.mayawrap.com/index.php) to nurse

    - practice at home in front of a mirror so you can see what might be showing and adjust as needed

    - practice somewhere that feels safe to you - a park, a familiar coffee house, the library
    Lynn
    DS1: bf 7/2006 -> 4/2009; multiple food allergies
    DS2: bf 9/2009 -> ???
    ; multiple food allergies
    Breastmilk Donor - http://hmbana.org/index/donatemilk
    Click HERE to learn about baby led solids (BLS) / baby led weaning (BLW)

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Nov 2006
    Posts
    6,959

    Default Re: Am I a bad mommy?

    I found that if I lay Will down on our bed for naps I just had to scoot close to him and offer a breast and he would latch while totally asleep. Looks like you have some useful tips from other people about nip. I found it really freeing to be able to nip.

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Jan 2008
    Posts
    187

    Default Re: Am I a bad mommy?

    Thanks for all the tips... but I do want to know if it's bad to do what I'm doing or if it's ok. I know some might not agree with it but if it's not bad to do it I might keep at it. If it is bad then I will stop.

    Jake: Born 11/15/07
    6lbs 5oz ~ 19inch and 3/4's long

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Jan 2008
    Posts
    547

    Default Re: Am I a bad mommy?

    If he's gaining weight ok, number of wet diapers ok, & he's not getting fussy from being woken up, then I don't think it's "bad", just a matter of preference. Pay attention to his cues though especially on the waking him up part, I know my dd is often much happier if I don't wake her up from her naps. If he doesn't seem to be affected, go with what works. Just my opinion...Either way, you're not a bad mommy- if you care enough to ask what's best for him, that should show what a good mommy you are.

  10. #10
    Join Date
    May 2006
    Posts
    19,888

    Default Re: Am I a bad mommy?

    Quote Originally Posted by jadesmama View Post
    If he's gaining weight ok, number of wet diapers ok, & he's not getting fussy from being woken up, then I don't think it's "bad", just a matter of preference. Pay attention to his cues though especially on the waking him up part, I know my dd is often much happier if I don't wake her up from her naps. If he doesn't seem to be affected, go with what works. Just my opinion...Either way, you're not a bad mommy- if you care enough to ask what's best for him, that should show what a good mommy you are.


    I second the "pay attention to his cues" advice- the only thing constant about babies is that they change all the time, and what works well this week may not work at all next week. Routine is great- especially if it's what works for you and your child- but do your best to stay flexible just in case your routine needs to be adjusted.

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