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Thread: nursing making me feel HORRIBLE. I think its time. HELP.

  1. #1
    Join Date
    May 2006
    Posts
    8

    Default nursing making me feel HORRIBLE. I think its time. HELP.

    I cannot continue. I just can't. I have nursed my aby to sleep since birth. She is now almost two (on Mar 30) and for some reason, having her on my breast just feels horrible and makes me feel angry, enraged, trapped, tense.. etc... It is horrible. I dread every nap and bedtime and of coruse the (still) mulitple nightwakings.
    She is an extremely spirited child, very bright, to the point that many people have mistaken her for at least half a year or more older than she is--even her new pediatrician. This is making it impossible to move her on. She senses my tenseness and anger and stays awake... (or she decides she has to get up to poop about an hour after we have started nursing to sleep GRRRRR)

    I cannot explain how horrible and angry I feel after just a few minutes of nursing. I regret not weaning her younger, when it may have been easier. Now her strong will is preventing any attempts.

    I ask her if she wants to hug mommy instead tonight, she ALWAYS says "no, nigh night!!!" (her word for nursing) and I usually try to hug her for a minute anyway to see if she will buy it but she usually doesnt. On occasion she will nurse for a while and then ask to hug mommy to fall asleep, but if I unlatch her to early to see if she wants to hug, it takes like another 20 minutes to get her back to that point.....
    help.
    please.
    anyone?

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
    Location
    New Orleans, LA
    Posts
    5,036

    Default Re: nursing making me feel HORRIBLE. I think its time. HELP.

    Sorry you're having such a tough time. No advice, just hugs.

    She won't be nursing forever and one day this will be a distant memory. Might not feel like it right now, but it will be.
    Mother - Wife - Artist - Cook - Writer - EnvironMENTAList - Cloth Diaperer (but we are soooo done with diapers) - Organic Health Nut...I'm sure there's more.

    DD1 - 12/15/05 Breastfed for 16.5 months
    DD2 - 8/6/07 Breastfed for 3 whole years and 3 little, extra days.

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Apr 2007
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    1,601

    Default Re: nursing making me feel HORRIBLE. I think its time. HELP.

    Do you have someone you can help with nap time/bed time?? Even if Dad doesn't seem to want to and I know your LO isnt going to want to - this seems to be the cause of the stress.
    My DH started putting my LO to bed, he was NOT happy about it at first. He didn't leave him but he would lay in bed with him. It took about a week of some solid Daddy time, but now for me he will nurse, and then I stop him and he complains for a second until he realizes that we are done nursing. I say it's nighttime, we are going to sleep now. I just repeat that. No getting up, no more nursing. Just time for night night.
    This was a lot of work for my DH but worth it for everyone, I had reached my breaking point with putting him to sleep as well.

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Apr 2007
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    1,601

    Default Re: nursing making me feel HORRIBLE. I think its time. HELP.

    I just wanted to add that nap times are still harder, but WAY better.

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Feb 2008
    Posts
    110

    Default Re: nursing making me feel HORRIBLE. I think its time. HELP.

    i am so sorry you are having a hard time.
    there are days when i could have written that post.
    but there are other days where nursing doesn't bother me a bit.
    i wonder though if weaning is going happen when the bad days out number the good ones.
    i have read in several books about weaning that having daddy there to spend that little bit of extra time with the child while you seperate and wean is very good for ALL involved.
    up until this point, your baby has NEEDED you to go to sleep on almost every occasion. a need only your breast and soft touch could provide. it would not be asking too much of 'daddy' to put him in charge of going to sleep.
    if i was faced with your problem i would try to detach myself from going to sleep time as much as possible. grab a book and try to let daddy handle it.
    in time, in theory, your child will be able to go to sleep with mama or daddy and not need to nurse.
    i would expect the first week to be hard on all involved, but if you are ready to wean, you're ready to wean.
    if mama ain't happy, ain't no body happy. LOL.
    good luck.

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Apr 2007
    Posts
    2,631

    Default Re: nursing making me feel HORRIBLE. I think its time. HELP.

    wow, great job nursing this far. I just wanted to tell you that. I have no advice, just that if you want to stop, then don't feel badly about it. I agree with pp to get daddy involved in bedtimes. Good luck.

  7. #7

    Default Re: nursing making me feel HORRIBLE. I think its time. HELP.

    I'm in a similiar boat, although the only time I don't mind nursing is putting him to sleep. It's the early morning nursing, the all day nursing that's starting to make me nuts. And it's so bad - the more I don't want to do it, the more Sam thinks he needs it. I've tried everything, distracting, offering more solids, more drinks, etc - but more often then not, nothing will work adn I'll either have to have him follow me around the house crying (and I can't handle that for more than a few minutes) or just grit my teeth and do it. When I'm nursing him to sleep, at least it ends - Sam's doing all day nursing and there's no real reason for him to stop - it's simply way more fun than anything else, to him.

    I know it's time to wean, but I'm absolutely clueless as to how to go about it. Not without really making it hard for him.
    Melissa
    Mom to Jessica (2/7/03) breastfed for 8 months
    Sam (7/6/06) breastfed for three years, five months, two weeks and three days (not that I was counting or anything :-)
    Julianna (4/29/10) struggled thru nursing strike, nipple confusion, thrush, multiple cracks and fissures, a staph infection and then another bout of thrush, but happily nursing away
    www.cohenfamily-melissa.blogspot.com

  8. #8
    Join Date
    May 2006
    Posts
    8

    Default Re: nursing making me feel HORRIBLE. I think its time. HELP.

    oops double post!

  9. #9
    Join Date
    May 2006
    Posts
    8

    Default Re: nursing making me feel HORRIBLE. I think its time. HELP.

    Thanks for the responses... In the end I think the GRRR feelings partly come from PMS apparently... (sigh!!)
    BUT.....in general, its still a long, frustrating process.
    Really the hardest is naptime. For the second time this week, she fought naptime SUPER hard. Kicking, screaming, pulling my hair, asking to get up and go potty (which we did, twice, once she went, the second time was a stall tactic, so no more after that)... I offered "nigh night" as well as just hugs and songs, even offered both on the couch (which is "special".) She kept sitting up and trying to go off and play. She was obviously tired, she shows her sleepiness in her eyes. I know she was ready to zonk!
    It took over an hour to get her to go to sleep.
    This also is the case at night, when its time to go to sleep sometimes, she does this same thing. I have started getting her to go to sleep with her head on my chest - after nursing for quite a while. Also when she wakes (usually at around 1030) the first time, she will fall back to sleep with just snuggles, no nursing. So, I know she CAN DO IT.
    As far as getting Daddy involved, he just started a new job (we recently moved for the second time in 7 mos, and will move again in April from a temp apartment to a house) that requires him to be gone at night now and then-- not every night or even once a week, but maybe once every two weeks or so? so, not sure how getting Daddy invovled would work out... plus he is also super exhausted when he gets home, not really feeling like wrestling a toddler to sleep....
    SIGH!!
    We could try the Daddy help to sleep bit like over the weekend and see how that goes...

  10. #10
    Join Date
    Nov 2007
    Posts
    213

    Default Re: nursing making me feel HORRIBLE. I think its time. HELP.

    You know what, she may be ready to give up her nap! Really!! My older daughter fought her nap like the dickens when she was the same age as yours! I really wanted her to have it (partially because I had a newborn). Anyway, life got much easier after we let her just stay up. She also started an earlier bedtime...7 instead of between 8-10!!
    If she's tired, try having a really relaxing afternoon session. Sit on the sofa and read some books, or sit with her while she watches a relaxing video.

    Just some ideas to help with the struggle!Sometimes just that relaxing time can help.

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