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Thread: Newborn question (was question about Babywise)

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Jul 2006
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    8

    Default Re: Question about Babywise

    Hi.. I'm a new member and I really need some support... Im in tears as we speak.

    I read Babywise and it seemed great. But I'm not sure if it is working for me. What the hell am I supposed to do? Do I wake up my baby to feed him? He so gassy!!!! And he wakes up suddenly screaming, in pain and can only be comforted with the breast or pacifier. But falls back asleep in just a few minutes, so I know he is not hungry.
    Actually I feel like I don't know anything and I'm a horrible mother that never should of had a baby in the first place. Im really at my wits end.
    Atticus nurses for what feels like an eternity (1-1&1/2 hrs.) Then sleeps for 30 mins. Then wakes up screaming, goes back to sleep in 5-10 mins. then wakes up in another 30 mins. crying, only to start all over again. There are hardly any awake times in which he is alert and not fussing.He also has a case of baby excema, and occasionally green stools. He is 4 weeks old and I love him fiercely but can't seem to bond with my baby.

    HELP ME PLEASE!

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
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    1,198

    Exclamation Re: Question about Babywise - NEWBORN CHALLENGES

    Atticus's Mommy:
    First..... deep breath!! You are NOT NOT NOT a bad mommy. Banish that thought from your head and heart right now. The fact that you question your abilities and care enough to seek support and guidance are just the tip of of the iceberg of proof that you are, in fact, a very caring and good mommy.

    Second.... having a newborn is HARD. Getting nursing going successfully is HARD. No one teaches us how to do all this - and it's the most emotionally charged and important responsibilty we've each likely ever had to this point in our lives! AND..... we have to do it when we are already exhausted and healing from the pretty big physical ordeal of pregnancy and childbirth!

    So.....right now.... start by cutting yourself some slack and not being so tough on yourself. You are among friends here now and trust me when I say you WILL indeed get lots of support.

    ((( NOTE TO MODERATOR:: should this get moved to a more visible thread area in the newborn section?? )))

    Gassy babies are not uncommon at 4 weeks of age. Neither are green stools. These things in of themselves may or may not be problems. But there are lots of things you can try to do to address both issues. Just quickly, since I want to get this posted so you know right away you aren't alone, often green stools indicate that your baby is getting mostly foremilk as opposed to hindmilk when nursing. Foremilk comes out first, hindmilk happens after baby has been suckling for a while. If your baby is not staying on one breast long enough for the hindmilk to come in, that's possibly why. Do you change breasts during a feeding session? If you can, keep baby one one breast as long as possible before changing to the other. That raises the chances of pulling hindmilk.

    What is YOUR diet like?? It *could* be impacting baby's gas, but often, babies are just like this at 4 weeks. Have you talked with baby's pediatrician? Brittan - any immediate thoughts re: what elimination diet steps to try first off??

    There's so much more I want to respond, but I have to get on the road to commute home. For now, just know that bonding is a process that is very very personal and very individual. Bonding with a baby who is very fussy and crying/collicy is HARD. You are frazzled because you are tired and worried and it's impossible to feel that warm-fuzzy relaxes love-fest we all want so much to have with our newborns. But give yourself a chance to get through it all - one day (or one hour!) at a time. NOTE: if you are feeling very very down or are having any worrisome thoughts about your well-being, please let someone close to you know asap. Post partum depression is common, all the more common when things are having a bumpy start -- and it's very treatable and you DON'T have to feel alone or like a bad mom.

    You can and will get through this. All of us here care and will help support you as best as we can.

    More soon........hang in there.
    -Linda

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Apr 2006
    Posts
    1,813

    Default Re: Question about Babywise

    Atticus's Momma:

    I don't think you're a horrible mommy at all, you're looking for help and that shows you care about your baby. Your a new mom and although we do have good instincts no one is born knowing how to take care of a baby, it's an art that you must learn and it takes time and a lot of trial and error moments.

    It looks like you are having a few problems with your baby that a lot of moms here already had experienced with theirs, therefore they can help. Make a new thread with the problems you're having because here your post is going to get lost and not many answers.

    Welcome to the forum!

  4. #4
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    Jan 2006
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    1,198

    Default Re: Question about Babywise

    Quote Originally Posted by Mami_Kathy

    It looks like you are having a few problems with your baby that a lot of moms here already had experienced with theirs, therefore they can help. Make a new thread with the problems you're having because here your post is going to get lost and not many answers.

    Welcome to the forum!
    Hi Kathy! I asked that the moderator move this to the newborn area - so keep an eye over there, too!

    See, we really are here and want to help!! hang in there!!

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Feb 2006
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    1,168

    Default Re: Question about Babywise

    Oh my, I'm sorry you're having such a rough time and feeling so overwhelmed. You're NOT a horrible mother. You're taking good care of your baby and trying to help him feel good and be happy.

    When I hit rough patches like this with my son, I tried to remember that my baby hadn't read all the books that said he "should" do XYZ. Every parent and every baby are sort of in it together, and together is how they figure things out. Especially in that first month or so, a baby's behavior can be awfully mysterious, and it's easy for a new mom to feel like she's in over her head. You're NOT alone in feeling this way!!

    A few questions:

    1) Your baby is 4 weeks old -- what was his birth weight and how much did he weigh at his most recent weight check?

    2) You mentioned excema -- can you describe it? It's normal for a 4wo to have what looks like acne, so let's make sure this isn't that.

    Occasional green stools might be caused by a number of things, and in and of themselves they aren't necessarily a problem. But with lots of gas, waking up screaming as if in pain, and always unhappy when he's awake, that suggests to me that there's something going on with his digestion. So let's try to figure out if this is oversupply, a food sensitivity, or what. Is he getting anything but breastmilk? How many times in the last 24 hours has he nursed (even briefly)? How many wet and dirty diapers has he had in the last 24 hours?

    I don't want to overwhelm you with questions and advice in one post, so I'll leave it at that for now -- but I do want to add that you needn't worry about bonding with your baby. That "fierce" love is your bond. Everything else will follow in time, including confidence in your own abilities as a mother.

    --Rebecca

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Feb 2006
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    1,168

    Default Re: Question about Babywise

    Quote Originally Posted by jsmom
    Hi Kathy! I asked that the moderator move this to the newborn area - so keep an eye over there, too!

    I'm not sure they can split a thread to make a new one.

    This does need a thread of its own, though -- most readers aren't going to see it buried at the bottom of a long thread that looks a bit debate-like.

    Atticus's Momma -- for more responses, it's okay to go ahead and start a new thread, either in this forum or in the Newborn Challenges forum. If you want some help doing that, just respond here and let us know.

    --Rebecca

  7. #7
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    Jan 2006
    Location
    Charleston SC
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    2,601

    Default Re: Question about Babywise

    You are a wonderful mommy. I remember when I had Thomas that I thought that I was so prepared for anything. What I was not prepared for was the EMOTIONAL roller coaster that followed my check in to the hospital. We were a wreck! Wanting to do everything just right was hard! Please take a deep breath and remember that these babies did not read the books and that next time this week everything will look a lot better, I promise.
    Please tell me more about the eczema, what does it look like and where is it? Do you have any history of food allergy's or eczema in yours or dh's family? All the best! Brittan

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Jul 2006
    Posts
    8

    Default Re: Newborn question (was question about Babywise)

    Okay... wow, thanks for all the responses... Im unsure of how to post a new thread. But to address the questions-Atticus's eczema was diagnosed at the doctors. Its on his neck,back shoulders and ears. It is lots of red dry bumps, that is worse when he is to warm. He was born at 7 lbs. 11 oz. and now weighs 9 lbs. 4 oz. We had a rough time in labor and delivery- They kept in in the newborn ICU to rule out sepsis. He was fed formula and breast milk. And i have continued to put some formula in his evening bottle. I pump/bottle feed at night. The lactation consultant at WIC thought he might be cows milk intolerent and asked me to eliminate dairy from my diet, but it has only been 2 days. He has around 10-14 feedings in 24 hours. He poops everytime I feed him, and has wet diapers more often than that. He also hiccoughs after every feeding and it sounds like he is snoring in his sleep....
    Thanks for the responses again..It feels good to have somewhere to go...

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Jun 2006
    Posts
    105

    Default Re: Newborn question (was question about Babywise)

    Atticus's Momma -
    I'm sorry for all you're going through. It is so hard to be a first-time mom in general and then you throw in the hormones and, well, it's just a mess Don't worry - you're a great mom! I don't have a lot of specific advice for you. The others are much more informed than I am, but I can tell you, as someone who read every book out there... Forget the books and go with your gut. If the baby seems hungry, feed him, even if it hasn't been the right length of time. If he's fussy, pick him up and comfort him, no matter what time of night it is. You cannot spoil a baby with love and proper care - no matter what a book (or a "friend") tells you. Good luck and keep us posted.
    Sarah

  10. #10
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
    Posts
    18,063

    Default Re: Newborn question (was question about Babywise)

    are you still giving the formula?
    that might be what is causing his skin to flare up.
    The 1st few weeks of mother hood are always the hardest. Your still in that adjustment period. Have you thought about lll meetings? You could get to know some other mommies with babies that are about your age. IT does help to know that there are other families that are at the same point in their life as you are.
    and a good nursing friend can help with things aren't going well.
    Call your local leader and talk to her!
    are you sleeping when the baby sleeps? Its hard to let things go but, if you nap when the baby naps that will help you be more relaxed.

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