breastfeeding moms of small babies--how not to worry?

[@llli*clb.1812]

DD is EBF. She is 2 months old and has always been a small baby. She was 6 lb. 1.5 oz. at birth (I was 4 days overdue even, and I'm 100% sure my dates were right). She was up to 6 lb. 9 oz. at her 2 week appt. At her 2 month appt., she was 23" (56th percentile) and 8 lb. 14.5 oz. (3rd percentile). Still, the doc didn't seem overly concerned, said DD had always been on the small side and had gained appropriately since her 2 week checkup and has met all her developmental milestones. The pediatrician did not suggest I supplement.

Still, it's hard as a mother not to be questioning myself. When I breastfeed DD, she seems content afterwards, but I worry I'm not giving her enough to eat. When we offer her bottles of EBM (usually 3-4 oz.), sometimes she finishes them, sometimes not, depending on how hungry she is at the time, it seems like.

I know it's likely DD is just destined to be small. I'm on the small side (5'4" & 118 lb.) and DH while 6'4" was extremely thin up to a few years ago (he maybe weighed all of 165 lb. and only lately has gotten his weight up closer to where it should be for his height).

How do you not worry about having a small child? People see my baby and say maybe I should be giving her formula or rice cereal to get her weight up, but I'm thinking maybe DD is just petite. She seems like a happy enough baby and only gets fussy when she's wet, hungry, or gassy. When she eats and I pump, I don't get much afterwards (sometimes not even half an ounce to an ounce), but when she's not eating as much (today for example, she's been sleeping a lot after having vaccines yesterday), and then I pump in place of a feed, I get about 4 oz., so I guess I should assume she's eating plenty.

Any ideas on what to tell people pushing me to supplement? It starts to make me feel I'm failing as a mother .

[@llli*leila]

What's wrong with 3rd percentile??? She's bigger than 3% of normal, healthy babies!! It sounds to me like you are doing great and she is too!

As far as what to tell people, I wouldn't say much. When I get well-intentioned, bad advice, I usually stare off into space and get a blank look on my face. Then I smile, nod, and change the subject. It's none of their dang business!! I think the more you talk to them about it, the more they will think that you want their input.

"My Child Won't Eat!" is a great book that will help reassure you that your LO is normal and you are doing a wonderful job following her cues. Hang in there!

[@llli*clb.1812]

Her height is at 56%, but her weight is at 3%.

[@llli*leila]

Her height is at 56%, but her weight is at 3%.

Oh, sorry! Well, let me edit my post...

The rest of my comments still stand.

[Newmommy_07]

I know how you're feeling and it's really hard sometimes when your LO is smaller than average to not worry about whether or not they are getting enough to eat. I constantly worried for about the first 4 months, but ultimately I had to just decide to be confident and trust my mommy instincts that were telling me that he was doing great, despite his small size. He was happy, alert, strong, and having plenty of wet/soiled diapers. I also would remind myself that in order for there to be any kind of "growth curve" someone has to be smaller than average, not everyone can be in the 50th percentile, KWIM? Also, it helped to have people that were close to me who knew me and my LO, and were supportive of breastfeeding, to help reassure me that he was doing fine.

[Newmommy_07]

Oh, and I forgot to mention that 1 lb. a month was usually what my LO gained, too, until he started solids at 5.5 months.

[Piparue]

Any ideas on what to tell people pushing me to supplement? It starts to make me feel I'm failing as a mother .

Tell them your doctor was fine with your baby's weight and that it is none of their business. Tell them that your doctor went to school for years to learn this stuff and that if you needed to suppliment and if your daughter was underweight then your doctor would have informed you. My daughter is like yours. She was full term but only 18 inches long and just a little over 6 lbs. She's 4 years old and only weighs 5 lbs more than my 2 year old. BUt the doctor says she's normal for her weight/height ratio. I am very small. My normal weight is around 90 lbs (even after 4 babies) so I just take it she's going to be a small gal as well. Unless your doctor is concerned all these other people that are trying to butt in where they aren't wanted (or needed) need to stuff it to you and your precious little babe.

[@llli*alyssa.mommy]

I, too, have a small baby...I appreciate all the support as well. It is hard not to be concerned.

[@llli*rumer]

Sounds like she's simply going to be a tall, slender little girl.

My LO is a whole two weeks younger than yours, and when he was born, everyone, including us, thought he was going to be at least an 8lb baby (I was 6lb, 10 and DH was 10lb, 3). Instead we had this wee little 6lb, 12oz tyke. Nobody has told us that he should be eating more or be supplemented (the ped. is thrilled with his growth). Plus, those that know us know that both DH and I (but especially DH) can put away remarkable quantities of food for our weight/ height. My hubby is the same height as yours, and is around 160.

They also know that I have absolutely no problem telling them where to get off when it comes to any unsolicited advice, regardless if it's about child care or buying a new car!

[sweetpeppers]

If you have been told that weight gain is not acceptable, look hard at this list of questions:

* Is your baby eager to nurse?
* Is your baby peeing and pooping well?
* Is your baby's urine either clear or very pale yellow?
* Are your baby's eyes bright and alert?
* Is your baby's skin a healthy color and texture?
* Is your baby moving its arms and legs vigorously?
* Are baby's nails growing?
* Is your baby meeting developmental milestones?
* Is your baby's overall disposition happy and playful?
* Yes, your baby sleeps a lot, but when your baby is awake does he have periods of being very alert?

This is from an article called "Look at the Baby, Not the Scale." And please NOT THE CHARTS. My friend was just saying to me the other day that her first son's doctor was making noises about how small her son was, and she looked at the French charts (she's from France originally), and he was a perfectly average French baby. If your baby is happy and healthy, it doesn't matter how much he or she weighs.