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Thread: Can Only Fall Asleep Nursing - help!

  1. #1
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    Jan 2007
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    Default Can Only Fall Asleep Nursing - help!

    I am thinking about taking on some very light part-time work but I am worried about putting my 16 month old in any kind of daycare because she cannot fall asleep without nursing! Sometimes she can sleep from a car ride but after 40 minutes of a nap, she wakes up to be nursed back. She also nurses all night at least every two hours if I sleep with her and forty minutes if I don't.

    How can I break this nursing to sleep association? I don't want to CIO too much but I would really like to be able to take on this job.

    Thanks!

  2. #2
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    Jan 2008
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    Default Re: Can Only Fall Asleep Nursing - help!

    unfortunatly, the only thing i know, is to try to put her to sleep OTHER then nursing her, babies wake alot during their sleep, and at this point, she only knows nursing to put her back to sleep, she needs to learn to put her slef to sleep.

    Im sorry, i really dont have any other suggestions. Except maybe nurse untill she is drowsy and then put her down... so she is putting her self to sleep...

  3. #3
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    Smile Re: Can Only Fall Asleep Nursing - help!

    I had the same problem, but then i realised that when i was taking her to her grandmothers for babysitting through the day they had no problem making her sleep without nursing. Whenever i was there she wanted to nurse, when i was away she was forgetting it. My LO is now 18 months old. But still nurses for her night sleep and trhough the night, but during the day she'll find ways to sleep by herself, startign from watching what other children do.

  4. #4
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    Aug 2007
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    Default Re: Can Only Fall Asleep Nursing - help!

    We had the same issues, but I started really early with the "sleep training". I changed nap routine first and used the "feber" method to help with the getting him to learn to sleep. The ferber method does involve crying but you set the time limit that you are comfortable with. We went with 5 mins to start and went in every 5 after that. The book recommends starting when they are pretty sleepy so that the crying isn't as long.... for us it didn't take much crying at all, but you know how it is, every child is different and your DD is much older than my DS (who is 10 mos).

    After naps we changed our night time routine so that the nursing came first then the rest of the routine which involved a "wipe down", diaper change, PJs, then some humming and rocking in his room. He now goes down pretty easily for naps and night sleep unless he's teething or there is some other issue. I was having a problem with 30 min - 40 min naps all through January and part of the problem was that we "fell off track" with Christmas and a cold around that time and so we started soothing him to sleep with rocking or nursing... so I had to "retrain" him to go back to sleep on his own. Took no effort at all and hardly any crying.... he snapped right back. It was great.

    Anyway, that's my two-cent story. Try changing up the routines (nap and night time) and look into the various methods out there for helping with the learning to sleep - i.e., ferber, pantly, sears.

    HTH.

  5. #5
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    Apr 2007
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    Default Re: Can Only Fall Asleep Nursing - help!

    My dd won't nap without nursing when I am around. But she naps fine without it at the sitter.

  6. #6
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    Feb 2008
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    Default Re: Can Only Fall Asleep Nursing - help!

    I am personally encountering the same challenge. Only my little girl is nearly two and I am personally ready to wean her, but she doesn't seem to be. She only nurses when going down to sleep. And it has been a major issue when others watch her. Previously it had been my mother or a friend who has child care expereince who would watch my daughter for me. My mother has yet to get Heather asleep and Michelle struggles, but is able to as long as she is holding Heather. In fact today I put her in a day care that my friend works at part time for the first time today for 6 hours, and the owner struggled with Heather there today too.

    The sad reality is that I created this problem thinking it was easier, when she was smaller and now I don't know how to fix it. The Ferber method just seems cruel. Any practical advice and success stories as to how to do it.

  7. #7
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    Default Re: Can Only Fall Asleep Nursing - help!

    Quote Originally Posted by athena View Post
    I had the same problem, but then i realised that when i was taking her to her grandmothers for babysitting through the day they had no problem making her sleep without nursing. Whenever i was there she wanted to nurse, when i was away she was forgetting it. My LO is now 18 months old. But still nurses for her night sleep and trhough the night, but during the day she'll find ways to sleep by herself, startign from watching what other children do.
    This is the answer. My DS is 25months old and is just NOW learning to fall asleep not on the breast WHILE WITH ME. But he has been working it out every other way under the sun since I was brave enough to be away from him. Which started regularly at 14months. I was with him nonstop as a SAHM until then. And then I went back to work. Full time. How he falls asleep with my DH, my sister and daycare is ALL different. But he naps with all of them and no one but me breast feeds him! So just know that what your LO expects while with you and when you are not there are NOT the same thing. Your child will sleep when tired and eat when hungry. Regardless of whether or not you are there. If you ARE there than of course, no one else will do. But if you aren't your child will work it out with their DCP. Try not to worry. It's going to be fine. Take the job.

    Way too lazy for formula

  8. #8
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    Default Re: Can Only Fall Asleep Nursing - help!

    Quote Originally Posted by DJ's Mom View Post
    This is the answer. My DS is 25months old and is just NOW learning to fall asleep not on the breast WHILE WITH ME. But he has been working it out every other way under the sun since I was brave enough to be away from him. Which started regularly at 14months. I was with him nonstop as a SAHM until then. And then I went back to work. Full time. How he falls asleep with my DH, my sister and daycare is ALL different. But he naps with all of them and no one but me breast feeds him! So just know that what your LO expects while with you and when you are not there are NOT the same thing. Your child will sleep when tired and eat when hungry. Regardless of whether or not you are there. If you ARE there than of course, no one else will do. But if you aren't your child will work it out with their DCP. Try not to worry. It's going to be fine. Take the job.
    The stroller and the car are the most reliable for babysitter/grandma. But my friend also got DD to sleep in a baby swing and they even fell asleep together on the couch and in the bed!

    L e i l a, married to hubby, loving our "bock-ee" kinda girl, 6.23.06
    Learn about the prepuce before you have a boy.
    Dental issues? Find out how to Cure Tooth Decay.

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Jan 2007
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    119

    Default Re: Can Only Fall Asleep Nursing - help!

    Thank you everyone for the ideas and support. I have been holding out on CIO. I tried it when she was 10 months and it was a disaster. I designed a nice bedtime routine for her - bath, two stories, bed. After the first couple nights, she knew the pattern and would sob through her bath, sob through her stories and even refuse to look at the pages (even in the daytime she was afraid of the books). But now that she is 16 months and still nursing all night I am really looking to be able to go out and earn a little money so I can spend it on her


    Pantley method helps a little bit but not too much. I'm a huge follower of Sears but his methods aren't working that well either.. I may have to do some CIO, just tell her no nursing but keep her with me for naps and bedtime. Then, once she learns that she's not getting boobie to sleep, she will come up with other things, right?

    guidozgirl - I know EXACTLY what you mean. I created this method originally to get any sleep at all, and now I don't think it's fair to make her CIO just because Mommy can't cope anymore. I also feel like, if I let her CIO, what was it all for anyway?

    Anyway, thank you all again. It's so good to know I'm not alone!

  10. #10
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    Default Re: Can Only Fall Asleep Nursing - help!

    I think what some of us are trying to tell you is that you don't need to do anything to change the routine when you are WITH her if all you want is for her to fall asleep when you are NOT with her. She will get the message pretty quick that there's no booby when mom's not around, and she and her caregiver should not have a problem getting creative. In other words, there is really no sleep training needed, if you are okay with how things go when you are there, and just want a little time away. Does that make sense?

    L e i l a, married to hubby, loving our "bock-ee" kinda girl, 6.23.06
    Learn about the prepuce before you have a boy.
    Dental issues? Find out how to Cure Tooth Decay.

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