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Thread: driven near insanity via twiddling

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Feb 2008
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    110

    Default driven near insanity via twiddling

    my 21 month old has gotten progressively worse about shoving his hands in my armpit while he nurses and uses the other hand to pull my hair, push my head around and mess with my clothes.
    it has been so gradual that i hadn't noticed it bothering me until recently with all the nursing i'm doing b/c of teething.
    he seems to need this twiddling just as much as the nursing right now.
    when he does these things, he moves his hands so fast and brings so much nervous energy to something that should be relaxing for both of us.
    when i try to tell him not to do it, distract him or restrain his arms, he gets very upset.

    i am posting this because i reached my breaking point last night.
    i had been messed with for far too long and refused to nurse him,
    that of course did not go over well with him and finally my husband helped restrain his hands so that he could nurse himself to sleep.
    the whole ordeal reminded me of when i was first learning to nurse and needed so much help to accomplish it.
    i feel as if i've come full circle.
    i know that he's not ready to wean,
    and even though i feel as if i am now,
    i see that changing as his need for nursing subsides as his teething ends.

    how have you dealt with annoying twiddling?
    any suggestions would be so appreciated.
    i am running short on patience!!

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Jun 2006
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    12,132

    Default Re: driven near insanity via twiddling

    I hear ya I have been on the defensive end of a twiddler for some time now
    First it was my armpits, when he couldnt really see what was there, then it was picking at my moles (OW ) he's managed to remove 3 of them ( DH says it saved us a big Dermatology bill ) Then alfter that it was the other nipple... oh good lord I hated that!!!!!!! I'd just push his hand off, over and over and over and over... then again.. the whole time would be him nursing and trying to gain access and me pushing his hand away. I tried diverting his attention with necklaces, books, other things you name it - nothing was as interesting as the nipple. well that was months ago - and since then he's migrated to my belly button. The inside of my belly button is so scared up - it's sad - and it hurst, but it's better than the nipple.

    SO my point is, I guess, see how long you can stand to just push his hand away over and again? Have you tried a nursing necklace??

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  3. #3
    Join Date
    Oct 2006
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    Default Re: driven near insanity via twiddling

    I give DS something else to play with / hold. It can be a teddy bear, a book, pretty much anything. And when I'm tired of DS putting his fingers in my mouth, nose & ears I try to distract him by making a game out of him trying to "catch" one of my fingers and grab it. I have more problems with DS wanting to shove a foot in my face so I can kiss his toes. When he does the foot in the face thing I try to divert to "this little piggy" and I make up different things for each time.
    Lynn
    DS1: bf 7/2006 -> 4/2009; multiple food allergies
    DS2: bf 9/2009 -> ???
    ; multiple food allergies
    Breastmilk Donor - http://hmbana.org/index/donatemilk
    Click HERE to learn about baby led solids (BLS) / baby led weaning (BLW)

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Jul 2007
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    1,780

    Default Re: driven near insanity via twiddling

    Oh No! I think this is where we are headed. Right now it's minor but progressing. It's hands in the mouth, ears, hair, bra, shirt....good to know I'm not alone but not looking forward to it progressing!
    Kelly

    Mommy to Gabriel born 12/25/06 Breastfed 12/25/06 - 12/09 and possibly here and there still
    Madelyn born 9/24/09 delivered at home and caught by my husband

    "To put the world right in order, we must first put the nation in order; to put the nation in order, we must first put the family in order; to put the family in order, we must first cultivate our personal life; we must first set our hearts right."

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Oct 2006
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    8,272

    Default Re: driven near insanity via twiddling

    Kelly - if you can set limits now that might be a good idea. After reading posts from other moms I've never let DS get anywhere near the other breast so at least I haven't had to deal with nipple twiddling. Now when DS wants to change sides he sits up and pushes at my breast to help "put it away".

    Kellymom has some info on nursing manners that may be helpful.
    Lynn
    DS1: bf 7/2006 -> 4/2009; multiple food allergies
    DS2: bf 9/2009 -> ???
    ; multiple food allergies
    Breastmilk Donor - http://hmbana.org/index/donatemilk
    Click HERE to learn about baby led solids (BLS) / baby led weaning (BLW)

  6. #6
    Join Date
    May 2006
    Posts
    252

    Default Re: driven near insanity via twiddling

    My 23mo DS is a hair puller. Some nights, I'll pull it back or braid it to keep it away from him. Most days, I just give in and let him grab a clump-- it's easier. I've tried dolls with hair or stuffed animals with extra thick fur but he isn't fooled. For the grabby grabbing aimed at stuff that isn't hair, I've tried books, spoons, straws, stuffed animals, etc. Not much works. I'll let him grab my hands but NOT the other boob while he's nursing. I have limits! Sometimes at night, I'll give him a pacifier instead when he's really grabby because I think grabby equates to not wanting to drink as much as to play/suck/nibble. I have no idea how I'll break him from boob or binky in the long run......

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Jul 2007
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    321

    Default Re: driven near insanity via twiddling

    Can you make yourself a fun necklace for you to wear while you breastfeed, so he can have something else to play with?

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Jun 2006
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    470

    Default Re: driven near insanity via twiddling

    My son is an acrobatic nurser. I just try to be consistent in telling him to be still, or else, no more nursing. Sometimes it works.
    Caylen Koen Chew (25/05/06)
    Lost No.2 in Aug 2008 ... Lost No. 3 in May 2009 Hoping for another ... Enjoying No.1



  9. #9
    Join Date
    Feb 2006
    Posts
    953

    Default Re: driven near insanity via twiddling

    We had this problem a while back. It was always the other nipple and she was merciless. The pain was horrible and I put my foot down. I started making sure that I always wore a bra- for you, try to find clothes that cover up the tempting targets. When I saw her hands going in for the kill, I'd take them gently and say "One mouth for one bubbie. The other bubbie is resting" or "Don't touch mommy like that, it gives her an owie." After a while she seemed to get the idea and now it's pretty rare for us to have a problem. I still have to keep covered up, but as long as I can get a shirt on before she sees me after my shower, we seem to have smooth sailing.
    Rachel

    Mama to my precious girls, Abigail and Naomi


    "When we consider that women are treated as property, it is degrading to women that we should treat our children as property to be disposed of as we see fit." - Elizabeth Cady Stanton in a letter to Julia Ward Howe, October 16, 1873. Recorded in Howe's diary at Harvard University Library.

  10. #10
    Join Date
    Dec 2006
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    2,393

    Default Re: driven near insanity via twiddling

    to you. I feel your pain. I too have a big time twiddler. We are currently dealing with the same thing, he twiddles the other nipple, and sometimes pinches hard. He is trying to speed up the let down. I have to keep his nails clipped and filed, because he also scratches me.
    He also picks my skin tags...Eme...I would have never admitted that, if you hadn't first
    At times it gets so frustrating. No matter how many times I grab his hand, hold it down...cover my other breast, it still goes on. I have tried distractions as well.
    He seems to be migrating to the belly button too. So far he just pokes it. At least that would give the nipple a rest.

    Dorothy, ds is an acrobat nurser as well. He smiles, pauses, and then dives on like he's attacking his prey. He goes from side to side until I let down, and lately turns his whole head upside down. The acrobats do not bother me if we are at home, but when we're out and about I am more firm with him about it.

    I wish I had some advice to offer, but you are not alone with this.

    Kathryn,
    Mama to my sweet blueberry eyed boy Joshua
    born on 11/2/2006

    and my blueberry eyed baby Jonah Henry...my water birth baby!
    born on 6/15/09



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