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Thread: New here and tandem nursing

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Feb 2008

    Default New here and tandem nursing


    I have a 2 year old and a 7 week old. My son weaned during my prenancy because my milk dried up. About 3 weeks after she was born he started to nurse again.

    The thing is he wants to nurse all the time. I have started to limit him to morning and before his nap. He is not too happy about this and will often hit his head (not hard) against a wall or the floor and then cry and ask for boobies.

    I am getting really frustrated with constantly telling him no but I also don't want to be nursing 24-7. He will nurse for really long periods too - not just a few minutes at a time.

    I am looking for any support / advice people have to offer.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Jul 2007

    Default Re: New here and tandem nursing

    Hi honeybear, and congrats on your new arrival.
    I'm also tandem nursing and I know how demanding it can be, especially in the early weeks.
    My older son was around 26 months when DS2 was born, and he'd been down to one or two nursing sessions a day throughout most of my pregnancy, but as soon as the new baby was born he reverted to feeding like a newborn too. It was very tiring! I figured that it was partly because he was so excited about the sudden plentiful milk supply, but that it was also a lot to do with his insecurities about the new baby. 2 is a difficult age at the best of times and with a new sibling in the family many toddlers do feel confused and insecure. Do you think this could be what's happening with your son?
    I found it really hard at first, but after 2 or 3 months, the novelty seemed to wear off and my elder son got used to the new situation and his nursings reduced a lot.
    In the early days, I found things that helped included nursing them simultaneously. This was a bit tricky at first, but once I'd mastered it, I found this reduced the overall time I was nursing a fair bit. I also ensured that I had at least one feed a day that was just for each child individually, so that DS2 got his one to one time as well. DH had to distract the baby for a little while if he was awake during that period!
    Aside from the actual nursing, I tried to keep DS1's life as much as it was before as I could - maintaining all his usual activities etc. I had to call on helpful friends and neighbours to manage this, but I think it helped reinforce to him that he was still important IYKWIM?
    Good luck, it's a difficult period of readjustment. Some people will be quick to blame any difficulties with your toddler on the fact that you are tandem nursing, but from what I have read, and from my personal experience, I would say that tandem nursing actually makes this transition easier for the older child. The fact that he's nursing gives you another logistical problem, and him another way to express his feelings, but I suspect that basically his behaviour at the moment is due to the fact that he's 2 and is just getting used to a new sibling. If he weren't nursing, this would probably come out in other ways.
    Well done for being so responsive to your child's needs. I hope things settle soon.

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