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Thread: Spoiling Child?? Help!

  1. #11
    Join Date
    May 2007
    Posts
    589

    Default Re: Spoiling Child?? Help!

    defintely cannot spoil a 2 week old . . . your LO is NOT manipulating you, your lo is just used to being carried under your heart for 9 months! Trust me, hold them while you can, bc all too soon they are mobile and want nothing to do with you!!!

  2. #12
    Join Date
    Jan 2008
    Posts
    2,570

    Default Re: Spoiling Child?? Help!

    Quote Originally Posted by Aidens Mommy View Post
    You LO spent 9.5 months in the womb, and it is most natural for them to be the most comfortable when closest to Mom. Have faith in your decision momma, your doing great!
    Quote Originally Posted by LLLJessica View Post
    Trust your gut!

    I like to look at it this way. The place your LO JUST came from was warm, he had constant contact, constant touch, constant food, he heard your voice every time you spoke. If he reached out, you were there.
    It's natural for him to want you, to really NEED you.
    This is exactly what I was going to say. How can you (people in general, not you) expect a tiny baby who knows nothing about the world outside your womb to be comfortable anywhere but next to your warm body, feeling your movements and breath, and hearing your voice? I think it is the sweetest thing in the world that my DD will only nap for 45 min when alone in her crib, but if I'm lying next to her, she'll sleep for twice as long often opening her eyes and going back to sleep when she sees me there Sure there will be a day when she'll have to learn to sleep in her own bed, way after she knows I'm ALWAYS there...For all a two week old baby knows they are alone in the world if mommy isn't right there. You are doing the absolute right thing mama!


    Jeanne (my middle name IRL)


    Mommy to two girls (M & M), born Sept. '07 and Sept. '09

  3. #13
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
    Posts
    2,866

    Default Re: Spoiling Child?? Help!

    You can't spoil a baby by feeding, holding, even loving.

    I like these resources for good explanations:
    http://www.llli.org/FAQ/spoil.html
    http://www.kellymom.com/babyconcerns...aby.html#spoil
    http://www.wiessinger.baka.com/bfing...ks/hungry.html

    HTH!

  4. #14
    Join Date
    Dec 2007
    Posts
    185

    Default Re: Spoiling Child?? Help!

    Some of the doctors and researchers who study infant development refer to the first three months after birth as "the fourth trimester." They also say that compared to other species, human babies are born essentially premature. In the first few months of life outside the womb, babies NEED near constant with people. They need the warmth of another body, they need the reassurance of hearing heartbeat and breathing. In fact, babies who co sleep and/or ride around in slings/carriers have fewer problems with apnea and other breathing problems, presumably because of the interaction between your body and your baby's brain. I know for a fact my little one has never had a single apnea episode that I was aware of, probably because he has always been within an arm's reach of me and more usually is on me.

    You're doing all the right things! You really are. The best thing you can do is listen to your own instincts. We have instincts for a reason, they told us what to do before experts and mothers in law were around. Our instincts are usually right about most things, especially when it comes to our babies. As everyone else has said, a 2.5 week old baby has no concept of manipulation, much less the ability to be spoiled. They CAN develop habits and become used to things being a certain way but that's completely different. At this point you want your baby to be used to you being there to meet all of its needs. The most important lesson they learn during the first few months is trust. Babies learn to trust when you respond to their needs as quickly as possible. Hang in there! It sounds like you're on the right track.

    ~~ Meri
    Truth never dies but it leads a wretched life.

  5. #15
    Join Date
    Nov 2007
    Posts
    108

    Default Re: Spoiling Child?? Help!

    It's not really funny that your mom is bothering you with such, and I sympathize coz my mom says the same things at times and it irritates the bejeezus out of me. But if I may inject a bit of levity, I have to say . . . . THAT'S HILARIOUS If your 2.5-week-old baby is manipulating you then you have been blessed with a genius that makes Mozart look like an moron.

  6. #16
    Join Date
    Nov 2007
    Posts
    108

    Default Re: Spoiling Child?? Help!

    P.S. You just go on and "spoil" that baby if you want

  7. #17
    Join Date
    May 2007
    Posts
    589

    Default Re: Spoiling Child?? Help!

    you know moms are funny things . . . forever my mom was saying that my lo was going to be in the maya wrap til he was 16! I just and knew I was doing what was best for my lo . . . well the other day, I was on the phone with my mom and lo was crying. my mom asked why he was crying (I was cooking and just left him for a minute in the exersaucer) well, my mom says, awwww, just put him on your back! yeah, NOW who is a fan of AP!!!!

  8. #18
    Join Date
    Jan 2008
    Posts
    18

    Default Re: Spoiling Child?? Help!

    You are doing a great job!!!! Something that I have come up with....a quick response when everyone wants to give their two cents...."It works for us". Somehow, people tend to shut up. I have the same problem with my mother in law. My more aggressive approach is...." Everyone has their own opportunity to raise their own child....you had your chance, now it is mine and this is what we want to do.thanks...."

    So frustrating!!! Of course you are not spoiling your baby! Keep your own counsel and as far as your mother is concerned, your baby is already sleeping through the night in his/her own bassinet... That will shut her up!

  9. #19
    Join Date
    Jan 2008
    Posts
    90

    Default Re: Spoiling Child?? Help!

    In my opinion, you can not spoil a baby but you can certainly neglect them. Letting a baby cry for their mother's affection is neglect. It is cruel. A baby does not have the thought process to understand why it's mother will not come when he needs her so much. Read the Dr. Sears article that the PP linked for you. Print it and give it to your mother. Good luck, I know its hard. Everyone in your life will have an opinion. It is something you will get used to.

  10. #20
    Join Date
    Dec 2007
    Posts
    443

    Default Re: Spoiling Child?? Help!

    I agree...A 2 week old can't be spoiled and even if you did it is ok. Being spoiled is one thing, being a brat is another. But again your LO is too young for both. Now my son is different... he is 4 months and is very clingy mama's boy and I do spoil him and I am wrapped around his finger, but I it.
    Exclusively and every minute of it!!
    SAHM Magic Mama to Rowdy
    Born 10/13/07 ALL NATURAL
    9lbs 10 oz, 21" long


    Excited about becoming a LC!!!!!!

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