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Thread: Spoiling Child?? Help!

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Feb 2008
    Posts
    53

    Default Spoiling Child?? Help!

    So it finally happened. My mom tells me I'm spoiling my 2.5 week old baby, and that he is "manipulating me" because he now prefers to be next to a warm body when sleeping. I recently started taking him to bed with me at night, so that I could get some much needed sleep and feed him; and mom blames this new "pattern" on that. Please know that I am going to trust my instinct, but I need to know that what I'm doing isn't "spoiling him" and that he will one day sleep comfortably and securely on his own. I want to do what is 100% best for him, in all manners. Also, how do you answer this whole "let them cry" debate. He is such a sweet little thing, I think I"m doing okay, but then I hear all this other and question myself! Any thoughts would be appreciated!!!

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Jul 2006
    Posts
    2,453

    Default Re: Spoiling Child?? Help!

    Argh! That is so frustrating. A two week old cannot be spoiled!!! So sorry your mom is giving you hassle. You're doing what works for you and your baby and don't let anyone talk you out of it.

    Here's an article from Dr. Sears that you may find helpful http://www.askdrsears.com/html/10/t100200.asp.

    You're doing a great job, mama. Keep it up!
    Katie
    Just one more fanatical cloth diaper convert...
    Mom to Morgan (01/10/04) and Zachary (07/12/06)
    What are M & Z up to now?

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Dec 2006
    Location
    Fort Wayne, IN
    Posts
    384

    Default Re: Spoiling Child?? Help!

    You cannot spoil your 2.5 week old baby. He is not manipulating you. Period. It's just not possible. Tune everyone else out and keep listening to your instinct. My answer to the "let them cry" debate is absolutely no. Especially at that age. There's a reason mothers find it so hard to do that because they aren't supposed to! Babies are supposed to want to be with their mothers. It's their survival instinct and it's perfectly normal.

    I know it can be stressful when people are giving you all this crazy advice and you can begin to doubt yourself because of it, but please don't. The best advice I can give you is just to listen to your baby and politely ask everyone else to shut up. HTH ***HUGS***
    ~Proud AP Mama To Natalie Ann *7/9/06* & Isabella Faith *7/6/09*~

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Jan 2007
    Location
    SoFL
    Posts
    6,237

    Default Re: Spoiling Child?? Help!

    you are not spoiling your child, you are meeting his needs! you seem to be reading his cues well and are doing what's best for the both of you, those are mommy instincts! and, sleeping in the same bed is co-sleeping/family bed, it works well for many families!
    Lisa
    Married to my Sugar Daddy
    Mom to Matt (5/14/97)
    James (11/8/06)
    Kelly Anne (3/14/08)
    Paul (3/11/10)

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Dec 2007
    Posts
    159

    Default Re: Spoiling Child?? Help!

    IMHO, I really do not think that a child can even begin to grasp the concept of true manipulation until they have hit school. Like 5 or 6 years old. So, you can kindly and respectfully tell your mother that you are not worried about spoiling your LO, as you do not plan on co-sleeping until they are school age (and if you are, at that point, she should be used to it).

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Aug 2006
    Posts
    866

    Default Re: Spoiling Child?? Help!

    Aww, momma-sometimes our parents say things that can hurt us the most when it comes to our children. My Mom thought that she had all of the answers, but over time I have shown her that I have the capability of raising one hell of a child. In no way can you spoil your child at a couple weeks old, much less a couple months old. You LO spent 9.5 months in the womb, and it is most natural for them to be the most comfortable when closest to Mom. Have faith in your decision momma, your doing great!
    Leslie- Momma to Aiden 02/28/06 AND Owen 2/28/08...What timing

    Older and wiser voices can always help you find the right path, if you are only willing to listen.--Jimmy Buffet


  7. #7
    Join Date
    Dec 2007
    Posts
    235

    Default Re: Spoiling Child?? Help!

    I doubt you can spoil a 2.5 week old baby, both of my girls were around me 24/7 at that age and you can never give a baby of that age enough love or comfort .


    While I'm sure your mother will have great advice for you in raising your child, but some times you have to follow your gut. You mothering instinct is telling you to do this and that's all matters. Your doing fine, just ignore your mother on this on and keep doing what your doing .

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Jan 2008
    Location
    NoVA
    Posts
    1,535

    Default Re: Spoiling Child?? Help!

    Trust your gut!

    I like to look at it this way. The place your LO JUST came from was warm, he had constant contact, constant touch, constant food, he heard your voice every time you spoke. If he reached out, you were there.
    It's natural for him to want you, to really NEED you.
    Jessica
    LLL Leader

    Breastfeeding is an instinctual and natural act, but it is also an art that is learned day by day.

    Visit LLL of Ashburn PM's Blog!

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Apr 2007
    Posts
    443

    Default Re: Spoiling Child?? Help!

    you can't spoil a two and a half week old and there is NO WAY he is manipulating you. Sorry your moms on your case. For some reason Grandmothers think they know everything but they don't.

    My DD did not like her bassenet so she was in her crib day three. But some nights she slept with me because I needed to sleep. We didn't want to do the co-sleep thing but for the first month or so we did so we could both sleep. Sleeping together did not SPOIL or ruin my child. She started sleeping through at 3 weeks (with a period of waking from 3 months -6 months) and from 6 months until now (17 months) I can probably cound on one hand how many times she has woken. Shes a great sleeper. She goes down at 8:30 and wakes up at 8:30... so I guess my SPOILING her by letting her sleep with me worked in my favour

    If you decide to co-sleep that is your choice... if you decided to sleep together once in a while that is fine also. your baby will be just fine.
    Kim

    Claire 08/27/06 7lbs 11 onces 21 in.
    Addison (Addi) 10/17/08 8lbs 11 ounces 21 in.


  10. #10
    Join Date
    Jan 2008
    Posts
    71

    Default Re: Spoiling Child?? Help!

    Are we related?? That sounds just like my MIL

    I agree with the posts above - trust your motherly instinct! Our babies need us so much, and they grow up so quickly, bond with your little man now

    He has no concept of manipulation/spoiled. His life focus is eating, sleeping & pooping!

    You are doing great, and congratulations!!

    Log on often, you will get so much suppport on this forum!

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