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Thread: I want to curl up in a ball.. why does she hate my breast?

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Feb 2008
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    3

    Default I want to curl up in a ball.. why does she hate my breast?

    My homebirth turned into an emergency C- section at 42 + 2 when her biophysical profile took a serious dive. Luckily baby was healthy, but covered in meconium and had to be deeply suctioned.

    Baby went skin to skin within 20 minutes of birth and my midwife helped me bring her to the breast. She said baby was latching, but I was pretty sure it didnt seem right. I have flat nipples and large breasts and it just didnt feel like she was getting enough of them in her mouth.

    24 hours later I knew something wasnt right, she was incredibly unhappy when I brought her to the breast, but she tried. Mostly biting. They sent a lactation educator whose only solution was breast sheilds. I said no thanks and expressed what little colostrum I could and kept working with the babe. 12 hours later I tried the sheild.. she still was super frustrated and didnt seem to get anything, she would only nurse for a few minutes, if that with little swallowing. 24 hours later she developed a fever, had only wet one diaper and uric acid crystals were present. She was becoming lethargic. She had also dropped 9% of her birthweight.

    I felt like I didnt really have any choice but to give her some formula. I syringe fed her 15 ml, crying the entire time. Thank God my milk came in a few hours later so I pumped and syringe or spoon fed.

    We were dischared with a syringe and tube to run into the nipple sheild. We tried it but she screamed at the breast. I mean, became downright frantic, flaling... and when we did get her on, she just went to sleep. I couldnt deal with it anymore and introduced a breastflow bottle.

    She gained a lb and 2 ounces in a week. Then we met with an LC who diagnosed her tongue tie. She was clipped at 16 days. At 18 days we went back to the LC (where she always seems to latch and feed without screaming, even though we always bring her in plenty hungry and at home we try at the first sign of hunger)- she moved 2 oz, so we know she can move milk now.. but she just doesnt seem to want to.

    LC said, okay, no more bottles.

    Easier said then done. Every time I bring her to my breast she screams. I dont force her on ( although I did in the beginning because that was what the stupid lactation educator said to do). We try to calm her and bring her back to the breast but she gets absolutely frantic, screaming, swiping at the breast sheild and the tube to the syringe. I literally drip out of the sheild with milk but she just doesnt want to suck. It breaks my heart. We had two feeds where she didnt do that and actually nursed for around 15 minutes. There was no rhyme to it.. she hadnt just woke up or whatnot.. she seems even more upset when we try to nurse as she is waking up, actually.

    After 10 hours we tried giving her some mm via a bottle then going to the breast. No dice

    After she screamed all day, I couldnt take it anymore and gave her the bottle. By then she was so upset, over tired and gassy it was just miserable.

    I dont know what to do Mamas. This is breaking my heart. I do not want to EP, Im so terrified of my supply going down. Right now I pump plenty enough to feed her and to freeze around 20-30 oz a day but who knows how long that will last.

    I desperately want her to eat at my breast, even if it has to be with the sheild. She has no interest in even trying without it. Ive tried every boob sandwich technique, ice, etc and she doesnt want anything to do with it.

    What would you do? Have I completely messed everything up? She will be 3 weeks tomorrow..

    How do I get her to stop screaming and atleast try? Im practically skin to skin 80% of the day, we cosleep.

    I dont know what else to do.

    Please help.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Aug 2007
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    796

    Default Re: I want to curl up in a ball.. why does she hate my breast?

    Don't give up! You could try latching her in the bathtub. Does she have reflux? I would keep trying. Does she latch better in her sleep?

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Jul 2007
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    307

    Default Re: I want to curl up in a ball.. why does she hate my breast?



    i'm sorry i can't say anything more meaningful but keep trying. you and your dear lo are already trying hard. its just htat i know that breastfeeding is such an ebb and flow. tomorrow everything may be dandy.

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
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    18,063

    Default Re: I want to curl up in a ball.. why does she hate my breast?

    http://www.llli.org/FAQ/back.html

    there are some ideas in this link that might help.
    You can do it, baby is very young yet.
    SOme babies it just takes a while to learn to breastfeed well.
    have you talked to your LocaL LLL leader?
    Shes around to help!

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Feb 2008
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    23

    Default Re: I want to curl up in a ball.. why does she hate my breast?

    hi hypnomama
    I have gone thru the same experience of baby not latching on as even i had flat nipples. It was very hard believe me i know seeing ur little one hungry and the frustration thinking its ur fault...but dont get worried...things will work out..keep tryin as the others are saying

    As for me, i had a c section as well..so they lo formula for the first two days..then i had flat nipples so tey told me to use a nipple shield and lo still wasnt latchin on..so my hd forced me to give formula. But i still kept tryin with the nipple shield. Lo would take it in his mouth and go crazy..but little by little...he started to suck..so dont worry..it is a very slow and tiring process..Try to get some milk in the shield before u put it in lo's mouth. This seemed to work to encourage him to suck. So dont give up..keep working at it..Now, i m bf..dont worry abt ur milk supply cause it will adjust once lo starts bf...

    Remember to make sure ur nipples dont get chapped cause tat makes things worse for those with flat nipples..dont worry..u r doing a good job. Keep up the good work.

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Jun 2006
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    Default Re: I want to curl up in a ball.. why does she hate my breast?



    Such a tough road you've been down already! Glad you found us

    You've received some great suggestions and a great link so far - all I can offer more is this page... it might have something there to help you

    You can do this
    Click here to find an LLL leader near you...or call 1 877 4 LA LECHE for help now.

    "No one can make you feel inferior without your consent."
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    "Do not go where the path may lead, go instead where there is no path and leave a trail."
    Emerson


    Ban the bags. ......... Watch your language. ....... Help keep Dr Newman's clinic open!

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    I lost 22 lbs in 8 months... with a bit of determination and common sense information from this book.

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Dec 2007
    Posts
    443

    Default Re: I want to curl up in a ball.. why does she hate my breast?

    Sorry things have been tough, but it sounds like you are doing great. Keep up the good work. Glad you found the forum. Everyone here is SOOOOOOOOO helpful
    Exclusively and every minute of it!!
    SAHM Magic Mama to Rowdy
    Born 10/13/07 ALL NATURAL
    9lbs 10 oz, 21" long


    Excited about becoming a LC!!!!!!

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Feb 2008
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    3

    Default Re: I want to curl up in a ball.. why does she hate my breast?

    Quote Originally Posted by mcat View Post
    Don't give up! You could try latching her in the bathtub. Does she have reflux? I would keep trying. Does she latch better in her sleep?
    Because of the section Im supposed to wait to take a bath till the 6 week checkup. She doesnt seem to have reflux.. and she never spits up.

    She doesnt latch in her sleep, she wakes up and gets really upset that Im trying to feed her and does one of two things, passes back out or starts screaming and flailing.

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Jan 2008
    Posts
    707

    Default Re: I want to curl up in a ball.. why does she hate my breast?

    I had a similar experience, c-section, which i had to be knocked out for so no real birth experience, NICU for 8 days b/c she was a premie and a shield to nurse... so i feel your pain... my dd also yells and hits when i bring her to the breast, but i just try to sooth her with rocking or singing and keep the nipple in her mouth, usually it fills with milk and is dripping all over. Sometimes she will hit it off and milk goes everywhere, fun!!! when it gets really bad dh will try to help sooth her while i try to get her to latch on, but sometimes it will take 5 or 6 minutes of pure hell, but she will learn!!! we are at 9 wks and still have some fights but as they get older it does get easier!!! don't give up, just keep trying, you have lots of support here!!!


    Tina - mom of Addison Belle
    12/11/07
    5lbs 13oz - 18in



    and my VBAC ~ Olivia Grace
    9/12/09
    6lbs 8z - 18.5in

  10. #10
    Join Date
    Dec 2005
    Posts
    3,900

    Default Re: I want to curl up in a ball.. why does she hate my breast?



    Quote Originally Posted by hypnomama View Post
    My homebirth turned into an emergency C- section at 42 + 2 when her biophysical profile took a serious dive. Luckily baby was healthy, but covered in meconium and had to be deeply suctioned.


    Quote Originally Posted by hypnomama View Post
    Baby went skin to skin within 20 minutes of birth and my midwife helped me bring her to the breast. She said baby was latching, but I was pretty sure it didnt seem right. I have flat nipples and large breasts and it just didnt feel like she was getting enough of them in her mouth.

    24 hours later I knew something wasnt right, she was incredibly unhappy when I brought her to the breast, but she tried. Mostly biting. They sent a lactation educator whose only solution was breast sheilds. I said no thanks and expressed what little colostrum I could and kept working with the babe. 12 hours later I tried the sheild.. she still was super frustrated and didnt seem to get anything, she would only nurse for a few minutes, if that with little swallowing. 24 hours later she developed a fever, had only wet one diaper and uric acid crystals were present. She was becoming lethargic. She had also dropped 9% of her birthweight.
    When you say she was biting, was this a time when she was being pushed towards the breast?

    Quote Originally Posted by hypnomama View Post
    I felt like I didnt really have any choice but to give her some formula. I syringe fed her 15 ml, crying the entire time. Thank God my milk came in a few hours later so I pumped and syringe or spoon fed.
    Rule #1 is feed the baby.

    How did she do with spoon feeding or syringe feeding? Did she willingly accept the milk?

    Quote Originally Posted by hypnomama View Post
    We were dischared with a syringe and tube to run into the nipple sheild. We tried it but she screamed at the breast. I mean, became downright frantic, flaling... and when we did get her on, she just went to sleep. I couldnt deal with it anymore and introduced a breastflow bottle.
    Does she become frantic with the sheild, the syringe, or both?

    Quote Originally Posted by hypnomama View Post
    She gained a lb and 2 ounces in a week. Then we met with an LC who diagnosed her tongue tie. She was clipped at 16 days. At 18 days we went back to the LC (where she always seems to latch and feed without screaming, even though we always bring her in plenty hungry and at home we try at the first sign of hunger)- she moved 2 oz, so we know she can move milk now.. but she just doesnt seem to want to.
    Can you think of anything that is different at the LC's office? Baby's position, the hold, how you were sitting?

    Quote Originally Posted by hypnomama View Post
    LC said, okay, no more bottles. Easier said then done. Every time I bring her to my breast she screams. I dont force her on ( although I did in the beginning because that was what the stupid lactation educator said to do). We try to calm her and bring her back to the breast but she gets absolutely frantic, screaming, swiping at the breast sheild and the tube to the syringe. I literally drip out of the sheild with milk but she just doesnt want to suck. It breaks my heart. We had two feeds where she didnt do that and actually nursed for around 15 minutes. There was no rhyme to it.. she hadnt just woke up or whatnot.. she seems even more upset when we try to nurse as she is waking up, actually.
    Many mothers have been where you are now. Don't lose hope!

    Quote Originally Posted by hypnomama View Post
    After 10 hours we tried giving her some mm via a bottle then going to the breast. No dice. After she screamed all day, I couldnt take it anymore and gave her the bottle. By then she was so upset, over tired and gassy it was just miserable.
    You sound frustrated.

    Quote Originally Posted by hypnomama View Post
    I dont know what to do Mamas. This is breaking my heart. I do not want to EP, Im so terrified of my supply going down. Right now I pump plenty enough to feed her and to freeze around 20-30 oz a day but who knows how long that will last.
    Let me be sure I'm understanding you, hypnomama. Are you saying that you are currently pumping 20-30 ounces above and beyond your baby's daily needs?

    Quote Originally Posted by hypnomama View Post
    I desperately want her to eat at my breast, even if it has to be with the sheild. She has no interest in even trying without it. Ive tried every boob sandwich technique, ice, etc and she doesnt want anything to do with it. What would you do? Have I completely messed everything up? She will be 3 weeks tomorrow.. How do I get her to stop screaming and atleast try? Im practically skin to skin 80% of the day, we cosleep.
    You have not messed up! Not at all. In fact, it sounds like there could be several issues that you are struggling to overcome such as tongue tie, difficult labor/birth, deep suction, flat nipples, and perhaps an overabundance of milk. All of these issues can make breastfeeding difficult, but all of these issues can be overcome. I have some information and suggestions to offer, but first I would like to ask a few questions to clarify your situation.

    Could you describe what happens when you attempt to nurse (step by step)?

    Are your breasts engorged? Is your baby able to extend her tongue beyond her gumline now? Does your baby fight the bottle or any other object that is put into her mouth? When she does latch on and nurse comfortably, is there anything that stands out about that scenerio (time of day, position, hunger level, who initiated feed, ect)?

    When your baby is skin to skin, does she ever attempt to self attach?

    Are you still seeing your IBCLC? Do you have local support (such as LLL)? Do you have any help at home...anyone taking care of YOU?

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