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Thread: help with weaning due to psychological issues

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
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    Default help with weaning due to psychological issues

    My son turned 19 months old yesterday. For the last few months I have been having flashbacks from childhood sexual abuse when my little guy nurses. I am thinking this is do to the fact he is no longer a baby and is now a toddler. I need to wean him for my own health, so I can be a happy, healthy mama for him. Has anyone else ever faced these issues? How did you wean your child respectfully, but quickly?

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
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    10

    Default Re: help with weaning due to psychological issues

    I cannot offer advice based on a similar personal experience but wanted to say that I can only imagine the situation is very difficult for you. I hope you can find comfort in knowing that 19 months of nursing is a wonderful thing. You and your son are lucky to have shared that experience. Certainly it is reasonable for you to look into weaning if continued nursing is causing you distress. There is lots of general weaning info available on this site. Best of luck to you and your family.

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Dec 2005
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    3,900

    Default Re: help with weaning due to psychological issues

    Solmama,

    I hope that someone who has had a similar experience will come along and share wtih you what helped them. Until then, I'm posting some information that you might find helpful:

    Breastfeeding After Sexual Abuse
    www.lalecheleague.org/NB/NBabuse.html
    http://www.lalecheleague.org/llleade...rMay97p27.html
    The following are NOT LLL resources, but you might find the information helpful:
    http://www.kellymom.com/bf/concerns/...her.html#abuse
    http://breastfeed.com/resources/arti...eyondabuse.htm (commercial site)

    Weaning
    http://www.lalecheleague.org/FAQ/weanhowto.html
    http://www.lalecheleague.org/NB/NBweaning.html
    The link below is NOT a LLL resource:
    http://www.kellymom.com/bf/weaning/h...g_happens.html

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
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    2,866

    Default Re: help with weaning due to psychological issues

    ((((hugs))))

    You might want to call your local LLL Leader or an IBCLC for local support. It's just nice to have someone closeby who can listen.

    Take care!

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
    Posts
    9

    Default Re: help with weaning due to psychological issues

    Thanks so much for your responses It is nice to hear praise for the 19 months we have nursed already, to receive hugs, and many helpful links. It is a challenge every day for us to nurse and to not nurse. I have felt alone for a long time because my sexual perpetrator was a female family member. Even though this abuse happens, it is ignored by the media, etc... I recently joined a support group of other females abused by females, which is helping a lot, but I know for my own emotional health that I cannot continue to breastfeed my little monkey. Thanks for helping me along this challenging, heart wrenching path of weaning and healing.

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
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    1,368

    Default Re: help with weaning due to psychological issues

    I can't really add to anything anyone else has said. But I just wanted to commend you for the 19 months of nursing you gave to your son. You should be very proud of that!

    Best wishes,

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
    Posts
    9

    Default Re: help with weaning due to psychological issues

    Just a little update here. We are now only nursing at nap time and maybe a few short times during waking hours. My little monkey is doing well when I tell him he can hug the "boobas", but not nurse them The links and book resources have been so helpful for us to find a respectful, loving way to help our little guy on this weaning journey. I still feel alone in the world to a certain degree because I have not connected to any other mamas who are both childhood sexual abuse survivors and breastfeeding mamas. If anyone out there could connect with me on these issues, I would love to chat. Feel free to e-mail me personally, and hopefully we could help one another

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
    Location
    Charleston SC
    Posts
    2,601

    Default Re: help with weaning due to psychological issues

    I can not help you here but I did want to say congrats on 19 months of nursing. I will pray for you and your family ((HUGS))

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Dec 2005
    Posts
    3,900

    Default Re: help with weaning due to psychological issues

    I appreciate the update, solmama. Sounds like the weaning process is going smoothly.

    Please do keep us updated. It's nice to hear how you're doing! I wish you the best, and I hope that your experiences today will lead to healing tommorrow. Take care! You'll be in my thoughts.



    P.S. Feel free to keep this thread bumped up. Hoping others find you, and you can support one another!

  10. #10
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
    Posts
    9

    Default Re: help with weaning due to psychological issues

    Thank you everyone and LLL Jolie for the love, encouragement and support to keep this thread going I have not had any contact with a mama in a similar circumstance, but I am holding on to the hope that it will eventually happen. Not that I would wish this situation or past experience on anyone, but I feel like it would help to hear from someone who could relate.

    On the weaning front, it is going pretty well I feel less like my son wants to be with me because of my boobs, and more like he wants me for me. We hug a lot more, and he wants to hold my hand while he falls asleep, which is just too cute!

    I think he can feel my energy is more positive when I am around him because my flashbacks are subsiding a little.

    I feel so blessed to have this outlet!

    Thanks

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