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Thread: Baby cries constantly while I'm away

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Nov 2007

    Unhappy Baby cries constantly while I'm away

    I need some help...before DH goes off the deep end. First, I work 12 hr overnight shifts. Add in my commute and I'm gone for about 14 hrs at a time (but only 2 days a week). I thought this work schedule would be a great idea - my LO would mainly sleep while I'm away just waking up a few times for a bottle. Sounds like it would be easy for DH, right? NO!

    I've been back at work for a week - my LO is 3 months old today. He has been exclusively BF - with a "cheater" bottle (a 2oz bottle of formula) here and there if we were out. He cries for me constantly while I'm away. DH can't console him at all. He cries and cries and DH gets very frustrated. I've given him shirts I've worn all week (so that DH smells like me), he swaddles him, swings him...he's about to throw LO out the window (not literally, but I think the constant crying is starting to get to him). Any ideas on how to handle a baby who won't calm down and is looking for his mommy? My DD (who wasn't breastfed) was not like this at all...staying home is not an option for me (trust me, I've ran numbers, begged, cried, pleaded...I gotta work). I think my bond with LO is impacting DH's relationship with him. DH even told me after my last shift that I need to stop breastfeeding because he can't deal with the crying. HELP! Any suggestions? I can't imagine what mamas are supposed to do?

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Jan 2006

    Default Re: Baby cries constantly while I'm away

    That sounds like it's hard on all of you. A crying baby all night is just hard to deal with.

    There are things that other mothers have found that can help in these kind of situations. Many have found that it takes around two weeks for everyone to settle into the new routines, learn each others' cues, and generally get used to the new schedule.

    Perhaps having DH hold and comfort him even when you're there during the rest of week will allow Daddy and baby to learn how to comfort each other?

    Is your baby eating at all while you're gone? Is he terribly hungry, and crying from hunger? Offering a feeding before baby gets totally upset often works better than waiting til he's wailing.

    He can also vary where and how he feeds baby - laying in bed together, so baby drifts off to sleep at the end of a feeding, or walking around, or rocking in a chair, curled up on the couch together, whatever works.

    You mentioned that DH has asked you to consider weaning. Please remember that each child is different, with their own personality, needs, and wants, and that you two as parents are doing many things different with this child than you did with your older child. The reasons for this current upset are many, and only baby knows what's really wrong. Weaning in the middle of another transition may just make the whole thing more difficult.

    With patience and time, mothers have found that babies can and do adjust to their new schedule eventually. Some babies are just more stubborn than others when it comes to change.
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  3. #3
    Join Date
    Sep 2007
    Southern Maryland

    Default Re: Baby cries constantly while I'm away

    Have you guys tried a pacifier yet? That worked wonders for my LO who just wanted to suck!

    MY LO was like yours when she was a bit younger. (She's now 4 1/2 months old) My DH would call me while I was out shopping because my DD wouldn't stop crying. But with time and the help of her NUK pacifier, that seemed to help a lot.

    Good luck!!!
    Mommy to Allison Rae

    Born 9-18-07 @ 1:18am

    BF for 18 months! Finally weaned!

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Jan 2008

    Default Re: Baby cries constantly while I'm away

    I am going to be doing the same thing starting in another week or so. I will be working 6 overnights in 2 weeks. I too have to work and if we put him in daycare I will have to work even more. My DS cries the entire time I leave when I go to the store or leave for short periods of time. I do find that when he is already sleeping and when I leave he is better. He will than wake up and take a bottle from my DH. We co-sleep and he nurses at night so that is why I am worried. Do you co-sleep? Maybe you could try getting him to sleep before you go. It might take a little time to adjust. I hope it goes better for you this week.

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