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Thread: husband getting iffy

  1. #11
    Join Date
    Oct 2006
    Posts
    152

    Default Re: husband getting iffy

    maybe your husband isn't actually iffy about you nursing for a long time. maybe he just sees how frustrating it is for you sometimes and he he doesn't like seeing you that frustrated. maybe suggesting weaning (because he sees it as the easiest solution to your frustration) is just his way of showing that? i'm sure once you talk with him and reiterate how important it is to you, and that you just need some encouragement along the way, he'll be on board.

  2. #12
    Join Date
    Nov 2007
    Location
    Where the Wind Comes Sweepin' Down the Plain
    Posts
    724

    Default Re: husband getting iffy

    Quote Originally Posted by carpentergirl View Post
    When I hear such "weaning" comments from my husband I usually try and read into it a little. Have I been ignoring him lately? Has our relationship been strained, is this really over his desire to have a mate and partner? Is he feeling left our by his inability to sooth and comfort the baby? Does it seem like the breastfeeding is interferring with his time with the child? These are all things I might go over.

    Some of my most effective fixes may make you laugh. More frequent "adult" time, more physical contact; back rub ect. Cook some favorite foods. Nurse on the bed with dh and baby, so baby can flirt with daddy with the eyes. When baby starts to cry when dh is holding him, I stress that he is teething and ask baby if he is ouchy. I try and explain indirectly some of the causes for mama-prefferance. I send them packing off to the park during the weekend during a no-tears time of day. All good for reinforcing the daddy connection, which is where I think much of the weaning pressure comes from.
    Quote Originally Posted by Globemistress View Post
    maybe your husband isn't actually iffy about you nursing for a long time. maybe he just sees how frustrating it is for you sometimes and he he doesn't like seeing you that frustrated. maybe suggesting weaning (because he sees it as the easiest solution to your frustration) is just his way of showing that? i'm sure once you talk with him and reiterate how important it is to you, and that you just need some encouragement along the way, he'll be on board.
    These are amazing, terrific insights. Y'all are awesome.
    **Margaret**(the artist formerly known as mommamags) Mom to red- and curly-headed, blue-eyed, chunky-thighed Michael Thomas, 24 May 2007, 9 lb/22 in. As an infant, he was my little suckling pig. Now he's a total ham!!!

  3. #13
    Join Date
    Feb 2008
    Posts
    110

    Default Re: husband getting iffy

    agreed with the last post.
    i had not even stopped to think that my husband was trying to tell me that he was needing some extra attention.
    i asked him if that was a big part of his idea and he said yes.
    wow! selfish thinking on my part, eh?
    well, now i have two high needs boys in my life! lol

    and yes, he said that the other part of his idea had to do with him just wanting to make things easier on me. i had no idea of that either.
    my interpretation of what he was saying was way off.
    another point for the speaker listener technique.
    -one person talks at a time
    -don't go on and on
    -paraphrase what the other person said
    -you have the right to refuse to talk about an issue,
    but have to commit to a time to talk about it within the next 24 hours.
    works like a charm.

    well,
    i am feeling so much better about the whole thing and am looking forward to the end of teething.
    thank you so much ladies.

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