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Thread: Need Support!!!

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Apr 2006
    Posts
    139

    Unhappy Need Support!!!

    I am a new mother of a 5 month old and I need support.
    My mom BF me for four months because she basically didn't want to be tied down. My family believes that each generation should follow the next and she said yesterday "she only gets breastmilk thats why she gets so excited to see other drinks." SHe said this to my cousin with me standing an ear shot away. It really hurts my feelings and puts me down when she says these things, I dont knw why its her business anyway. Last night I even thought maybe she should go on the bottle maybe it's a sign, that's all my mom talks about with poeple though, is the fact that I still BF!!!
    I do'nt know what to do. I enjoy BF. Infact I was sick with the stomach flu and becasue my baby is on breastmilk she didn't get sick and I told my family this. I am just down about the whole thing.

  2. #2

    Default Re: Need Support!!!

    Glad you fund this forum! You'll get all the support you need and then some!! It helps to have a like-minded ear. You are making the right decision for you and your family. Maybe you could tell your mom that you are following in her foot steps, you're doing what you think is right for your family, just like she did.

    Or, because I am bratty, I might say "Gee, hopefully by the time the kid is 2 or 3 you'll be over talking about bf with everyone you see" just to see her face! regardless of how long you actually plan to bf.

    Hang in there, it sounds like you are enjoying your relationship with your babe and that is what matters most. Your mom will come around, or she won't. It won't be the only thing you don't agree with her about. I am tight with my mom and it has been hard for us to disagree about parenting styles an dwe had to have a little chit chat about it. Once you actually said out loud that she was proud of me and the choices I am making even if she doesn't agree with me it made it easier to tolerate teh snarky comments from time to time. Who knows? Maybe talking to your mom you might find out she talks about it all the time because deep down she is proud of you, or envious that you've stuck it out this long?? Who knows?

    Again, glad you found us. Enjoy your babe!
    Mother to Emily June, b. Sept 18, 2005 and Lucy Quinn, b. 1/20/2012

    “Buy the ticket, take the ride."
    Hunter S. Thompson

    Excitement on the Side: Who doesn't love a confident woman with long boobs...

  3. #3
    Join Date
    May 2006
    Posts
    1,073

    Default Re: Need Support!!!

    Stick with it. I'm the first in my family to bf. I get the comments from everyone too, especially my mother. I found it easy to ignore her while I was growing up, I just ignore these comments now. You do what you feel is best for you and your family. You sound like you know what you want, hang in there.

  4. #4
    Join Date
    May 2006
    Posts
    929

    Default Re: Need Support!!!

    I hear your distress. I haven't had much support from family about BF,especially the MIL. The little passive aggressive comments are infuriating and I keep telling myself that if I hear one more I will blow up at her/them and tell them it's our turn to raise OUR DS OUR way! (with a few more explitives, of course ) I don't know why it's SO common for family and friends not to support the decision to BF when it's clearly the best choice for your baby! I get the feeling sometimes that they feel threatened sometimes, like we're trying to say we're better than them and care more about our babies than they did. I keep wondering if they were given a hard time by family when they had babies...Do they not remember what it was like to get unsolicited advice??!!

    Hang in there! You're doing what's best for you and your baby.

    Jennifer
    Amazed and Proud mom of Luke (Lucas) - 4/5/2006; 9 lbs 12 oz , 22in
    Wife to best friend Carl - 11/4/2001

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Apr 2006
    Posts
    139

    Default Re: Need Support!!!

    Thank you so much, I needed that!!!
    I feel ALOT better now, just needed some support.
    Ya, I will try not to take it personally and realize this IS the best decision right now. My grandmas were out this weekend so my mom shouldve remembered the comments and unwanted advise.
    I need to log onto this site more often.

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
    Posts
    15

    Default Re: Need Support!!!

    I hear ya; my mother is convinced that she couldn't bf me & my brother. She has explained it to me and I think that she had a bad peditrican and poor latching w/o any support from friends/family. She has questioned me a lot over the last 7 months and she now supports me fully. Her fav comment is that my milk is "high octane" for ds. I made her go with me to a breast feeding class before ds was born; she has really learned a lot as the other family, too. My grandmother is 77 and was absolutely amazed with me bf ds and my Medla PIS. She had 4 boys and only managed to bf a little with each.

  7. #7
    Join Date
    May 2006
    Posts
    447

    Default Re: Need Support!!!

    It sounds like you're handling the negative comments very well. I probably would've exploded on my mother by now if she said anything to me. I'm sure your mom probably doesn't realize how much it hurts you. Maybe you should tell her how it makes you feel. If it were me, I would say something like, "This whole breastfeeding thing is pretty difficult sometimes, but I really want to continue doing it, so it would really help me out a lot if you were a little more supportive." Most people have good intentions and don't realize how their actions affect people. I made this mistake the other day when my best friend told me one of the names she was considering for her daughter that's due in October. My reaction was, "That's a porn star's name." And it is. It's a very famous porn star's name that was on some VH1 show. I should've known better, because I remember someone saying, "That's my dog's name..." when I told them what we were naming our baby and how much it bothered me. And that was only a dog, not a porn star!! So, I screwed up. But my friend knew that I didn't mean to hurt her feelings. Anyway, that really has nothing to do with your problem...

    I agree that coming to this website helps a lot, and I'm glad you found it.

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