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Thread: Ist time BF w/ toddler at home

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Jan 2008
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    Default Ist time BF w/ toddler at home

    My second baby is due early April and I'm really committed to trying BF again. I had a horrible experience with my son and I'd like to try to avoid all of that again. I was in terrible pain. My breasts, which area normally a DD cup, swelled to mutant size. I had no support from family, had no LLL leader contact and pretty much gave up after two weeks because it was so painful...to the point where I would get dizzy and nauseated when my son latched on.
    Now, I have read all the books, and contacted and attended my local LLL group meetings and feel so much more confident and knowledgeable. However, I have new anxieties over BF successfully for the first time with my energetic toddler running around. How do I do on-demand feeding for my new daughter all day and all night and still be able to have the energy and attention to attend to my son? Any helpful suggestions?
    Also, if there are any other large-chested BF moms out there to lend me some tips, stories or support, could you please share some stories?

  2. #2
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    Dec 2006
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    Default Re: Ist time BF w/ toddler at home



    My Mom nursed all four of her kids, and we are all about 2-3 years apart. The advice she gives me and my sisters is to read books to the older children while you are nursing. Allow them to choose the books. It helps the older child feel like they aren't left out. Also, down the road, we all LOVE to read, and she credits that to the nursing/reading sessions

    Having a completely toddler-proof room will help aswell. Maybe get a futon to put in there so you can relax with the baby.

    It sounds like you have really worked hard to learn and surround yourself with support! Do you have family around that can help out with cooking and cleaning in the first few weeks?

    There are cultures where a new Mother does a 30 day lying in period after giving birth. The women of the community come and keep up with the new Mother's cooking, cleaning, and other responsibilities. I hope that one day our society can see the importance of this too!

    Lyn
    Lyn
    Nursing the girl with kaleidoscope eyes


    Mama to Daniel (12/3/06) and Lucy Jane (8/28/08)

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Jul 2007
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    Delaware
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    Default Re: Ist time BF w/ toddler at home

    First off, !! It's going to be ok! You are doing GREAT with what you have done thus far!! You are way ahead of the game and you deserve many, many kudos for all of the prep you have done!!

    Anyway! I have two kids. My oldest was 4 y.o. when my second was born 7 months ago. I, too, was very nervous about how I was going to divide my attention! I will be honest, it was kinda tough at first! He was so used to getting 100% of my attention 100% of the time! We read a lot of books and watched some movies about being a big brother and what it would be like with a new baby. He was so excited, but he thought his new baby brother should come out and be ready to play!!

    So, I am very thankful that I had so much support from my parents! I don't know what I would have done without them to be honest!! Someone suggested to me to get DS1 his own "baby" before the new baby was born. This way he could "wear," change and feed his baby while he saw me doing these things with the new baby. I even bought him his own little Moby wrap!

    He has never been jealous of DS2 much to my surprise, but he has been craving attention. I found myself snapping at him sometimes do to sheer exhaustion. But, then I had to remind myself, that this was not his fault and he does not understand. So, I would sit on the floor with him and play a board game while nursing the baby or have both of them on my lap and read him a story. When you do have help (SO, friends, other family) I would feed the baby, and then hand her off to someone so that you can have some time with your DS. Just you and him. It doesn't have to be that you are leaving the house, just even going back in his room and reading him stories or playing games or painting. I'm sorry! I hope this helps some! I feel like I have rambled on! There are some FABULOUS mamas on here that have BTDT that should be able to give you awesome advice!!!
    Betsy
    mama to:
    N 5/03
    J 6/07

  4. #4
    Join Date
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    Delaware
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    Default Re: Ist time BF w/ toddler at home

    I'm too slow!! See, Lyn already beat me to giving you some fab advice!!
    Betsy
    mama to:
    N 5/03
    J 6/07

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Aug 2006
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    185

    Default Re: Ist time BF w/ toddler at home

    What helped a lot of women in my LLL group was to have special box with special toys that the "big kid" only gets to play with when you're nursing. It helps if it's stuff you can do together. Books, puzzles, cards, etc.
    Erin
    Mom to Laura (3/1/06)

  6. #6
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    Oct 2006
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    Default Re: Ist time BF w/ toddler at home

    Before I had my DD, a friend told me that the first 2-3 weeks of BF are the most difficult, and she was absolutely right. It hurts like he!! every time they latch on those first few weeks, but the pain goes away and nursing gets better. Just think positively (You will make it to at least a year) and this, too, shall pass!
    Robin

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Jan 2008
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    118

    Default Re: Ist time BF w/ toddler at home

    I had the same situation in my house. I only bf my older 2 for a few weeks. When I had my last I also have a toddler and it was potty training time. Be prepared for your toddler to do things because they know when you are sitting bf you can't get up. It was challenging and still is but I would say potty training and BF is much much harder!! My DS would run to the bathroom I would set my LO right on the floor to help him so fast and pee would be flying all over my poor LO had to be cleaned a few times from being sprayed on. Just remember it does get easier as they get older they don't nurse as long.
    Everything is an adjustment in the beginning but everything gets easier!

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Dec 2006
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    Texas
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    Default Re: Ist time BF w/ toddler at home

    I also do what Lyn suggested. My 16 month old loves to get books and we usually read during nursing time. DD also loves to just watch DS. We'll play with his toes, or just talk about him. She just soaks it all up and enjoys the time, to my surprise.
    Another thing we do is the "special" toys if DD is being quite active. This works for now also.
    Our blessings from God!
    Kylee was born September, 2006 - 9 lbs. 12 1/2 oz, 21 inches long.
    Kiefer was born January, 2008 - 6 lbs. 14 oz, 19 1/2 inches long.
    He was diagnosed with a severe peanut allergy at 12 1/2 months old. Others later discovered.
    And I am even more blessed by being married to my best friend and the most honorable man I've ever known.

    "The hand that rocks the cradle rules the world." - Abraham Lincoln

  9. #9
    MoMmY316 is offline Shares Widely And Frequently
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    Default Re: Ist time BF w/ toddler at home

    im about ur size a DD and to tell u the truth my first 2 were so small it was hard for them to latch i tried and tried and them being in nicu for so long didnt help so i ended up having to stop, now with my last lo she was also a preemie but she hang in there and i was more determined to make it work...it gets easier being big i had a hard time doing the perfect football hold and cradle so i did what worked for us kwim...just dont give up u can do it and comming here for support will help you thru the rough spots!!!!

  10. #10
    Join Date
    Oct 2007
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    138

    Default Re: Ist time BF w/ toddler at home

    all the pps have done great with the divided attention answers so I will hit the big breasted question.
    I am usually a DD but when I nurse I am an F. Yes, the first 2-3 weeks are awful. When my milk first comes in, I feel like I have 2 melons hanging from my chest. I can't even wear any bra I own. So for the first couple weeks I try not to leave the house, don't wear a bra and wear a really loose Tee shirt with a bath towel under it. Same for sleeping-bath towel wrapped around my chest. I feel like i can hardly move without pain. If you keep at it you begin to anticipate the nursing, while painful also provides relief from engorgement . After supply and demand gets adjusted I am still rather large but no longer melon sized and rock hard. That intense let down feeling also gets tons better after the first few weeks. I don't know if it from being large breasted but I can feel so strongly the muscle contractions of the letdown at first. By 3-4 months, it is just an odd twinge.
    This time, maybe you should line up some support before hand so you know there are people waiting to encourage you.
    SAHM mom to 5 daughters-16,15,13,3,10 months Happy Wife to stressed out, overworked husband

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