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Thread: We're night weaning...need support

  1. #1
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    Jul 2006
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    Unhappy We're night weaning...need support

    I'm a little conflicted, but I think night weaning is the right thing to do right now. I was gone for 4 nights in the hospital so Z couldn't nurse to sleep or overnight. He usually nurses 3-6 times overnight. I feel awful about having cut him off cold-turkey like that. DH says the first night was bad. Z slept 2 hrs then cried while DH held him/rocked him/slung him/drove him in the car/etc. for 3 hours, then slept with DH for 4 hours. But the next 3 nights he slept through the night - 8 to 6 - with barely a fuss.
    I am torn between guilt for premature night-weaning and need for rest. I feel like some of my recent illness has been brought on by exhaustion and if I get more sleep it will be better for the whole family in the long run. DH is very adamant about this. He claims that he has seem me "slipping away" for several months and that Z is capable of sleeping all night and that I need to let him do so.
    So last night I was home and instead of nursing Z to sleep I nursed him for about 15 minutes and then passed him off to DH who walked him around in the sling like they'd been doing. It was rougher than before because Z knew I was there and protested. But he fell asleep in less than 30 minutes with some fussing and just a little screaming. And he slept until 4am. DH just patted his back and tucked him in and he went back to sleep intil 5:45 when I declared it morning and nursed him until I was ready to get up.
    I guess I just want to be reassured that I am not being a terrible mama. The only other solution I think would be going back to co-sleeping which we tried last week, but the problem is that my joints and muscles get very stiff and painful overnight and Z is an acrobatic nurser and I don't have the ability to pull him off when he decides to straddle my neck or to catch him when he randomly body-slams me.
    Sorry for rambling. I'm just struggling with things not going the way I planned/expected them to. Thanks for reading if you've gotten this far.
    Katie
    Just one more fanatical cloth diaper convert...
    Mom to Morgan (01/10/04) and Zachary (07/12/06)
    What are M & Z up to now?

  2. #2
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    Default Re: We're night weaning...need support

    Have you read/heard of Dr Jay Gordons method??? it worked nicely for us. and your LO is now, about the age mine was when I did it - maybe a little older... Ill BRB with a link

    not a horrible mama

    okay - here it is. See if it sounds like something you can do.
    Last edited by Number3; January 28th, 2008 at 02:09 PM.
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  3. #3
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    Default Re: We're night weaning...need support

    hey you have to do what you have to do to feal beter.
    maybe more sleep is just the ticket!
    Do not feal bad!
    andrea

  4. #4
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    Default Re: We're night weaning...need support

    I am so sorry to hear about your health problems. I think that as moms we often forget to take care of ourselves. I know how hard it is to night wean when it is not planned. It sounds like Zach is doing O.K. with it so far. Maybe just continue what you are doing and see how it goes for both of you. I tried a whole new bedtime routine when my lo weaned and that has helped lots. The first few nights were the worst, but now he sleeps mostly through the night and if he wakes up he usually goes right back to sleep. I used the Jay Gordon method too. Good luck to you and take care of yourself!

  5. #5
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    Default Re: We're night weaning...need support

    don't feel bad! it sounds as though he is going to be fine with it! and, believe me, be able to sleep at night will make you all feel better the next day
    Lisa
    Married to my Sugar Daddy
    Mom to Matt (5/14/97)
    James (11/8/06)
    Kelly Anne (3/14/08)
    Paul (3/11/10)

  6. #6
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    Default Re: We're night weaning...need support

    I support night weaning. I did it when Kate was 12 or 13 mos. and have been sleeping through the night ever since. She continued to nurse after that with no problems. I know it doesn't work for everyone, but it worked for me and sounds like it could work for you!
    Mother - Wife - Artist - Cook - Writer - EnvironMENTAList - Cloth Diaperer (but we are soooo done with diapers) - Organic Health Nut...I'm sure there's more.

    DD1 - 12/15/05 Breastfed for 16.5 months
    DD2 - 8/6/07 Breastfed for 3 whole years and 3 little, extra days.

  7. #7
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    Default Re: We're night weaning...need support

    Sounds like the battle is already mostly won where nightweaning is concerned, so I say stick with it and enjoy the much needed rest! I am already considering nightweaning around that age if DD doesn't STTN by then, as I feel that she'll be old enough to understand by then. You're a great mom, don't feel guilty!

  8. #8
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    Default Re: We're night weaning...need support

    You are NOT being a terrible mama!

    That said, don't feel like you have to stick with the new status quo if you don't feel right about it at any time. I know how hard it is when you have a DH putting the pressure on.

    Is Z handling it okay? Do you notice any change in him in the waking hours?

    Molly

    Loving mama to JP (DS, 1/03 ~ nursed 6 mos), EL (DD1, 9/05 ~ nursed 4 yrs), EJ (DD2, 3/08 ~ nursed 3 yrs 9 mos), and
    JM (DD3, 6/12 ~ currently nursing), all born naturally
    Devoted wife to SAHD P, my hero
    A few of my favorite things that I've discovered on the forum: co-sleeping, baby-wearing, tandem nursing, baby-led solids, cloth diapering, APing, selective vaccination...the list goes on

  9. #9
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    Default Re: We're night weaning...need support

    Thanks everyone!
    Quote Originally Posted by Number3 View Post
    Have you read/heard of Dr Jay Gordons method??? .
    I've always had the Gordon method in the back of my head as a last resort if I got fed up with the lack of sleep. I think we will use it if Zachary returns to waking frequently at night. It doesn't apply exactly since we do not do family bed, but I think the basics will still work.

    Quote Originally Posted by mama_p View Post
    Sounds like the battle is already mostly won where nightweaning is concerned, so I say stick with it and enjoy the much needed rest!
    I hope so. I feel like its too good to be true that he is sleeping 8-10 hours on his own.

    Quote Originally Posted by mollyb View Post
    Is Z handling it okay? Do you notice any change in him in the waking hours?
    DH said that when I was gone Zach was fine during the day. Better than usual actually with fewer tantrums and clinginess. But of course now that I am back, he is super needy and clingy. Maybe it is the new sleep routine, maybe it is just insecurity because I left so suddenly? I suppose only time will tell.

    Thanks again for the support, ladies.
    Katie
    Just one more fanatical cloth diaper convert...
    Mom to Morgan (01/10/04) and Zachary (07/12/06)
    What are M & Z up to now?

  10. #10
    Join Date
    Feb 2006
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    Default Re: We're night weaning...need support

    I'm going to hijack for a second... I just read the Jay Gordon link ad am thinking about it. I can't keep going the way we have been (she'll sleep til somewhere between 2 and 4 am and then it's just plain h*ll), and we've never done anything but nurse to sleep. I've basically been trying this method off and on, without knowing it was a method, but I keep getting hung up on how angry she gets.

    He says the baby will be angry, but Abigail gets violently angry. Throws herself off the bed/against the wall, bites, screams until she's purple... nothing I do helps, and it continues to escalate until I give her the boob to save my eardrums (and her head). Is anyone else's little darling like this? DH is very reluctant to help out at night, which makes it more difficult. I've tried to get him to try to soothe her, but all he does is get her riled up to play . Any thoughts?
    Rachel

    Mama to my precious girls, Abigail and Naomi


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