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Thread: Need Advice!!

  1. #11
    Join Date
    Jul 2006
    Posts
    4,029

    Default Re: Need Advice!!

    You've already gotten some good advice about weaning.

    I wanted to address your feelings of needing to get out. What about some sort of parents' group? Some churches have them (Mom's morning out, etc.), but also there's LLL meetings. I know you feel that you're nearing the end of your nursing relationship, but at the LLL meetings, you can bring your child with you. At least it would give you an opportunity to meet other adults, and not have to worry about finding care for your child, or being separated from your child. I'm sure there are other similar groups out there...


  2. #12
    Join Date
    Mar 2006
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    8,591

    Default Re: Need Advice!!

    Yep--really tough age. Weaning may only exacerbate the problem. But, if you want some really good techniques for weaning gently (which is a good idea for both you and baby) try not offering it, but also not refusing when she asks. Another method that works well is distraction--when your lo wants to nurse, you can try to distract with other fun things or other food/drink, or both. The book "How WEaning Occurs" is good too!

    Erin
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  3. #13
    Join Date
    Mar 2007
    Posts
    68

    Smile Re: Need Advice!!

    Thank you all for all the wonderful advice and support provided. You all have helped open my eyes and helped me think more clearly about breastfeeding and sahm situation. Yes, I do attend church and pretty soon they will be having a mom's morning group which also provides some childcare...and I know that will be really good for both of us. And yes, she is walking now and that makes complete sense as to why she may be super attached lately. I also believe she is teething because she continually bites me during nursing. With that in mind, how do I get her to stop biting? I remove her from the best (well, because it feels as though she is going to bite it off) but she arches her back and wails as if I have hurt her...then she wants right back on. I put her back on anxiously anticipating another bite and after a few minutes or seconds another harder bite. What can I do to make her stop and is kit because of biting? Also, I have begun to wean very gradually....like before when I tried to wean her she has developed a cold. Why does this happen every time I try to wean her off the breast? Is it related or just a mere coincidence? Again, thank you all for being such great supporters and giving me the advice I need. Thanks!!

  4. #14
    Join Date
    Jun 2006
    Location
    COUGARTOWN Baby! From here on in!
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    17,439

    Default Re: Need Advice!!

    Biting is tough. Because this is an intimate relationship and biting causes trust issues. You want to remove her and say "NO BITING" very firmly. Perhaps put her in the middle of the floor and walk away and then come back. However you handle it, handle it the same every time. So that as SOON as their is biting she learns she will be removed from the breast.

    Also it could very well be linked whenever you try to not breastfeed she gets a cold. At the year point the breast milk composition begins to change. The level of antibodies increases dramatically as it is the natural progression that around this time, the colostrum, begins to wear off, children are eating more solids and drinking less milk and children are in contact with MANY MANY other children as this is the point where they become mobile. So it think that this is the age where natural weaning does begin, just in that this is when meals should be really be increasing to 3 a day plus snacks...and there could be more if you get a job...but for us when I went back to work at 14months, we went from 8-12x a day to 6-8 and now at 2yrs I am down to 4-5. So it is cutting back but I am really glad I didn't wean compeltely because since he has been in day care(a year next month) he has only been sick 3x which really is pretty amazing when you consider the fact that he is one of 8children and 3 of them are school age.
    Just some things to consider during this time. Congratulations on making it this far!

    Way too lazy for formula

  5. #15
    Join Date
    Nov 2006
    Posts
    6,959

    Default Re: Need Advice!!

    I understand biting. I was going through that at around age one. I second being consistent. Say "no bite mama' Keep it short and easy to understand. place them down, walk away. No one wants to play alone right. William cried every time, because i think it hurt his feelings, the bites were because he was teething, not because he wanted to hurt me. At this age hopefully they have never been hurt badly, and just don't understand. So leaving can let them know its undesirable behavior. i had to move to time outs in a room, with the door shut for around 30 seconds, because the "walking away" thing wasn't working. What i do totally agree on is being consistent. Don't start time outs until you have the moral stamina to do it every time, no matter how tired you are. I had to do it 5 times, and he quit biting, but he sobbed and wailed, and it was hard on my heart. What was harder was having him break my trust and ruin my ability to relax while nursing. It is more important than I ever realized.

  6. #16
    Join Date
    Mar 2007
    Posts
    68

    Smile Re: Need Advice!!

    Thanks for the advice. She finally quit biting and so far the weaning process is going really well. Pretty much for the first time in her life she is falling to sleep at night without the breast in her mouth. I breastfeed her till she gets tired and then unlatch her. She roams around on the bed for awhile but then passes out right next to me. She even reduced the number of times she nurses at night from almost every hour to only three times a night (that includes nurse before bed and nurse in the morning before getting up). I think I'm having more trouble with the daytime feedings. I try to give her babyfood (she won't have it) so then I try table foods which she just throws on the floor to the dog. She screams and screams and pulls at my shirt for the breast. She's throwing temper tantrums left and right during the day...about everything. About trying to feed her regular food, taking away things she should have, and when I try to do other things that don't include her (like chores or something). Is this normal behavior for a 13 mo. old or should I be concerned? Also, she still hasn't said any words....she doesn't even call me mama or mommy. I've said it to her a million times and I still don't think she relates the word with me yet. The closest thing she says is dog and it comes out doc. Should I be concerned? She definitely has the screaming and crying thing down though...definitely wears on my nerves all day long. Thanks again everyone for continuing to post new advice and support to me!!

  7. #17
    Join Date
    Nov 2006
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    miles from nowhere
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    11,108

    Default Re: Need Advice!!

    As far as offering solid food goes, you might try offering it to her after she's nursed that way she doesn't see it as an either/or option. She might be more willing to try different foods if she doesn't think eating them means she doesn't get the breast.

    Sounds like you're doing great with the night weaning, though! That's a big step for both of you and you should be proud of yourself and your baby.
    “We are not put on earth for ourselves, but are placed here for each other. If you are there always for others, then in time of need, someone will be there for you.”
    --Anonymous

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