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Thread: I think She's jealous

  1. #1
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    Default I think She's jealous

    Not sure how to even word it. I began working at my current job in April (about 5 mos preggo). I quickly became friends with one of my coworkers who also happened to be about 5 mos preggo. We were both planning to bf. She stopped bf a couple months ago. I didn't. I am very proud of myself, but I don't know how to act around her. I hadn't worried about it until today. I just spoke of it when I wanted, pumped when I needed, acted like it was just another part of parenting, because to me, it is.
    Today, another girl who works with us came in and informed us that she is pregnant. Of course, I took this opportunity to ask her if she had considered how she would feed her baby. I made the comment, "breast is best". I honestly never meant it in a negative way toward my friend. I am glad my friend even bf for that long, I also wish she had longer, but I haven't told her that, nor have I tried to imply it. My friend told our boss, who is pretty close with all of us (as far as bosses go). So, the boss had to talk to me about it because he has a certain work atmosphere to maintain. He asked me to not mention anything bf or pumping related to her. I feel that it is all very stupid really. Bf is such a huge and important part of my life, how am I supposed to just leave it out of every single conversation between us and still remain good friends? I guess we weren't that great of friends.
    She made her decision. She should be satisfied in it, and if she isn't she should do something about it. I don't feel that it should be my problem. Seriously, if she regrets it, she knows that she can relactate, although it would be a lot of work. She even considered it before.
    Why can't people just grow up?

  2. #2
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    Default Re: I think She's jealous

    So, there's a little more to this. I guess there always is. If I'm going to pump, 9 times outta 10, I have to walk right past her with my pump bag. Now, It's just going to be really uncomfortable. I thought we were cool. I thought I could talk to her about this stuff, she never acted like it bothered her, and almost always had something positive to say. Seriously, if something offended her, it's her job to speak up. It's not my fault she hid how she really felt.
    This is just really affecting me. Last night I had trouble going to sleep. It's so hard having to avoid saying anything at all about something that is such a huge and important part of my life while at the place where I spend a large part of my waking hours. I feel like I shouldn't have to hide it. I shouldn't have to hide something I love so much. It should be celebrated, not put down. I wish I had people in my everyday life who cared about it half as much as I do. I could go on and on.

  3. #3
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    Default Re: I think She's jealous

    You could always just address the issue and tell her you didn't mean to make her feel like you were judging her. I might tell her that I thought she had done a terrific job bf for as long as she did, and that many mothers have difficulties and wean far earlier. Then change the subject to something light.
    Even if you don't feel this way, it will take some of the pressure off the situation and allow you to walk past her everyday without feeling haunted.

  4. #4
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    Default Re: I think She's jealous

    It would be better to get it out in the open and move on. I am sure you guys have many more things in common.

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    Default Re: I think She's jealous

    Quote Originally Posted by carpentergirl View Post
    You could always just address the issue and tell her you didn't mean to make her feel like you were judging her. I might tell her that I thought she had done a terrific job bf for as long as she did, and that many mothers have difficulties and wean far earlier. Then change the subject to something light.
    Even if you don't feel this way, it will take some of the pressure off the situation and allow you to walk past her everyday without feeling haunted.
    I already did that. I did that soon after I realized there was a problem. After i said "breast is best" She told me, "not everyone can breastfeed" I tried to make sure she knew that I am proud of her for bf as long as she did, that a lot of women never even try, that what she did give her lo was great and that her son is beautiful. Then she called our boss after she left work.
    She even went to her car and came back in to bring me some stuff that her lo cannot use anymore, but still called the boss

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    Default Re: I think She's jealous

    Quote Originally Posted by mcat View Post
    It would be better to get it out in the open and move on. I am sure you guys have many more things in common.
    we do talk about religion a lot, even though we are not the same religion, we share a lot of the same philosophies.

  7. #7
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    Default Re: I think She's jealous

    Ok,so to me that means she was worried that the other woman would have bf problems and was transferring her feelings onto the other woman.

  8. #8
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    Default Re: I think She's jealous

    no, that's not it. she didn;t say it while the other chic was around. I think lot of it has to do with this being her 3rd child she has "failed" at bfding, this is her last baby she plans on having, and her baby has been sick non-stop since she stopped bf. While mine hasn't been sick ONCE in his life and it seems so easy for me, in her eyes.

  9. #9
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    Default Re: I think She's jealous

    Just wanted to update. I have been avoiding saying anything about bf. She has pretended there is no problem. AND, I knew I shouldn't write that LO has NEVER been sick, because now, he has an ear infection.

  10. #10
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    Default Re: I think She's jealous

    I'm just wondering whether maybe this could have something to do with your boss? Perhaps your boss doesn't relish the idea of another employee taking pumping breaks and doesn't want you to "push" the idea on to your pregnant co-worker? I'm very cynical, me!

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