Okay, I have a question. I'm not sure if it should be here or in "relactation", but anyway:
My dd was nursed on demand till 2 years 7 months.
a lot of that time I struggled with it on an emotional level, some of the time I even hated nursing but I would never give it up, and aggressively defended my right to nurse and my dd's right to have bm until she was ready to stop
I never pumped and my dd never laid lips on a bottle, she still sleeps with me.
the circumstances of us weaning were a little extreme;
My dd was eating a salad, and crunching a piece of raw cauliflower, decided to wash it down with a little booby. she bit off a little piece of my nipple
It bled, I cried, she cried, I couldnt even consider letting her nurse more, on either side, so she cried herself to sleep
by that night, I was nursing just on the uninjured side, the bitten one still too tender to touch. I was being pressured by dd's father to stop nursing (he always supported me, but only under duress - he actually felt that I should stop) though there was no chance that I would. I wanted my dd to stop when SHE was ready for it.
So, almost exactly 24 hours after the bite, sitting in almost the exact same spot, nursing dd on the good side, I was stung by a hornet on the nipple!!! just a few milimetres (1/4 inch) from dd's mouth!!
At first I thought she was biting me again, and pulled her off, but the pain went on, I looked and there was this massive insect with its stinger stuck in my nipple, struggling to get out! The pain was unbelieveable.
a bunch of people came over to help me, my baby cried herself to sleep again and my breast swelled up to more than double its size. by the next day, it was purple and infected...
My initial thought was, "oh, I'm gonna have to wean now for sure... but I dont want to wean "
I was on the verge of crying at the thought.
I was preparing myself for the dramas that would surely follow, with my dd fighting for her right to the booby (as usually happens when i try to restrict her), but... to my surprise, she didn't even ask for it.
she went to sleep that night without nursing (!!!) and just once, the next day asked to nurse, to which I replied that my boobies were "broken" with "big ouwas", to which she said, "okay, I want a hug".
and for the next 2 weeks, she simply never asked to nurse again.
I let go of my own reluctance to stop and saw that she was, indeed ready.
only, after a while, (after my milk had dried up), she started asking for it again.
to be honest, sometimes I feel bad that I dont still nurse her, i even feel guilty at times, but I dont really want to do it anymore.
so : now i get to the question.
I've started letting my dd have comfort boobie again. she's 3 years and 2 months, and I have a little colostrum, but just a drop. I'm happy to let her have a little comfort booby when she needs it, but it seems that the more I let her have it, the more she wants it (of course! ) and its starting to get too much for me.
Should I just go back to letting her nurse on demand? am I setting myself up for another trip of having to wean again?
dh wont talk to me about it, I know he's afraid of getting into a debate with me about it, but I'm just not sure what I should do.
sorry, this ended up a little longer than I planned
anyway, I'd love to hear any suggestions.