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Thread: Is he weaning himself?

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Jun 2006
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    Default Is he weaning himself?

    i am nursing my 13 month old son and 3 year old daughter. while my daughter is still happily nursing, my son had a 5-day nursing strike at 11 month and has refused to nurse 2nd time in a week. is he weaning? compared with my daughter, he doesn't seem to enjoy nursing that much since he was born. he just drinks what he wants and unlactch. not like my daughter, he never stays on my breasts for comfort and rarely fall asleep on my breasts. since he started solid at 6 months, he gradually shows decreased interested in milk. before he turn 1, he only nurse 3 times a day. sometimes, i have to try a few times to get him nurse. i feel rejected when he blows bubble and pushes my breast away. is he not too young to wean himself? if he is, what should i do? it hurts.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Feb 2006
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    Default Re: Is he weaning himself?

    I've always heard that a baby won't self-wean before his first birthday. Some babies do outgrow the need to nurse soon after that milestone. A LLL friend of mine has two daughters who both self-weaned at around 15 months -- that had not been her plan, but you can't force a baby to nurse!

    However, if he is still nursing three times a day, he may keep that up for a long time. Or he may all but stop, and the pick it up more frequently again during an illness or some other disruption. My son kept me guessing from the age of 21 months on -- I often felt weaning was just around the corner based on his behavior, but he continued to nurse until after his fourth birthday.

    --Rebecca

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Jun 2006
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    Default Re: Is he weaning himself?

    thank you for your reply. i will keep offering and let him decide. i will remind myself to enjoy whatever we have left and not feel upset. it's the "let go" part i need to learn. sometimes, i look at my daugher and wonder why my son doesn't enjoy this much. but, i guess that kind of thought just makes me sad.

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
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    447

    Default Re: Is he weaning himself?

    If you pump or hand express at all, you could offer the ebm in a cup for him. That way, he'd still get the nutrioional and imunity benifits. Just a thought.

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
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    Default Re: Is he weaning himself?

    Hi mom_of_2b,
    Nursing strikes can be so stressful! While he is back to the breast, he still refuses sometimes. You are worried about your son and how long he'll keep nursing. It's normal for each baby/child to be different in their nursing habits. Some are comfort nursers -- nursing for long stretches and falling asleep at the breast. Others are more "business-like" -- keeping it short and to the point and un-latching when they are done. It sounds like you are doing a great job following his cues, as difficult as that may be since you wish he would nurse more often/longer. Anecdotally, I've heard many mothers talk about their babies nursing less at about a year -- they can be so busy at that age! These mothers sometimes feel their babies must be about to wean. But as Rebecca said above, they can keep it up like that for a while and some pick up the frequency during the next developmental milestone or illness.
    HTH,
    Mary

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Feb 2006
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    Default Re: Is he weaning himself?

    Quote Originally Posted by mom_of_2b
    sometimes, i look at my daugher and wonder why my son doesn't enjoy this much. but, i guess that kind of thought just makes me sad.

    Maybe it's not that he doesn't enjoy nursing as much as your daughter does. Maybe, instead, it's that the two of them have different temperaments and thus different types of needs in their nursing relationships. Perhaps your son just enjoys things a little faster!

    It's normal to feel sad about the prospect of your baby weaning. It is a kind of letting go and moving on. But remember -- it will be a long, long, long time before either of your children don't need YOU. As they outgrow the need to nurse, then you will have an opportunity to find new ways to meet their need for your love and nurture.

    --Rebecca

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Jun 2006
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    3

    Default Re: Is he weaning himself?

    thank you all for the encouragement and suggestion.

    Besides me not able to let go, another thing is that he won't take milk from cup or bottle either (may be couple sips the most - either bm or cow milk or water). when he refuses to nurse, i did pump but had to mix with cereal to make him take the milk. i am afraid if he wean, he won't have nutrition from milk or even enough liquid.

    he seems to nurse consistantly when he is sleepy or asleep. this morning before he woke up, i nursed him and he did not push me away (he was still sleeping). I put him back in the crib to let him finish his sleep. tonight, i put him in his crib after he turned his head away from me. i went back in an hour and he nursed. i hope i did not go too extreme to prolong our nursing relationship (did i?).

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