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Thread: Tons of criticism

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Sep 2007
    Posts
    8

    Angry Tons of criticism

    Hello,
    My little Benny just turned one and I am still happily nursing him, but I am about to face a lot of criticism from my husband's family and from some people in my family as well because most of them assume that I will wean Benny after one. I haven't told anyone my plans to wean my son when he is ready, and I know that a lot of people are going to start to ask me. My mother in law expects me to wean soon because in the past she has commented that people that nurse babies beyond one are "just crazy". I seriously want to tell her to mind her own business but unfortunately we depend on her because she has a day care and takes care of Benny while I go to school. I want to keep harmony in the family without being too passive. I read the criticism article and got some great ideas for responses, but has anyone had the same experience? What do you do in those cases?
    Thank you

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Jun 2006
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    Not around here as much :(
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    12,132

    Default Re: Tons of criticism

    I give them the info found here and ask them, kindly, to stuff it

    My baby's health and well being is more important to me than if someone finds me to be a fruit-loop

    Good luck
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  3. #3
    Join Date
    May 2006
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    2,178

    Default Re: Tons of criticism

    Personally, I just kind of sit back and don't hide that I'm nursing past one, but I don't broadcast it either.

    If I get any backlash, I just mention that historically, (for thousands of years before the mainstream use of formula, so up until the last 50-60 years), people generally breastfed their babies for 2-4 years.

    I'll also mention that weaning at age one might be best for formula fed babies, due to baby bottle tooth decay and such (which is why docs suggest it), but that breastfeeding doesn't carry those risks. There aren't risks of baby having crooked, rotten teeth from breastfeeding.

    At that point, I can also point out that scientific studies have proven that antibody levels in breastmilk can actually be higher in the 2nd year of life than in the first, and go on about how great a thing that is, since they're so much more mobile after age 1 and getting into things, its good to have that kind of insurance policy...

    Honestly though, the best way to keep people off your back about that, is to not hide breastfeeding after one, to never ever act like it bothers you to breastfeed after one, to never act like its inconvient to breastfeed after one, and to be so confident in your decision to continue that if somebody does say something, they will know from your answer that you don't agree with their opinion, and that you won't quit just because they think you should. Usually, they'll back off then, LOL...they know they won't win that battle.

  4. #4
    Join Date
    May 2006
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    2,178

    Default Re: Tons of criticism

    Quote Originally Posted by Number3 View Post
    My baby's health and well being is more important to me than if someone finds me to be a fruit-loop

    I AM a crunchy, hippy, fruit loop, and I'M PROUD OF IT! My parents were hippies, so maybe its in my blood, LOL.

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
    Posts
    18,063

    Default Re: Tons of criticism

    yeah that was always how I did it too.
    the older toddler gets the more people assume that they have weaned
    and for your mil.. thats all she needs to know
    once you are adding soild foods you have started to wean.
    My dd weaned herself at 4 with just a litte push from me and no tears from her, my mil would have fliped out but she raised her kids.
    Don't fight!

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Dec 2006
    Posts
    882

    Default Re: Tons of criticism

    You could always wink and say, "Well, what can I say? I'm crazy about my kid." And change the subject.

    I don't offer the info, either. I'm not going to wean my kids because someone thinks they're too old to nurse.

  7. #7
    Join Date
    May 2007
    Posts
    285

    Default Re: Tons of criticism

    When Mohamed was around a year, I got the same reactions. Now, I just don't make a big deal about it. I try to keep him fed and happy when we are out so he won't ask for it. I figure, if they don't ask, I won't tell and it saves me a lot of criticism.

    When anyone does ask, I say, we have a great nursing relationship and when it becomes a problem for either of us, we will re-evaluate. But for now, if it isn't broken, why try to fix it.

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Jul 2006
    Posts
    107

    Default Re: Tons of criticism

    If "we'll wean when we're both ready" doesn't work, I use teething as a good reason/excuse to continue to nurse my 20 month old DD. I politely tell them there's no other way to soothe her so quickly, or relieve her pain. Also, she ended up with an ear infection on Christmas and had no pain, the only symptom was a fever (and then the junk that drained out of her ear). I attribute the lack of pain to breastfeeding!

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Mar 2007
    Posts
    45

    Default Re: Tons of criticism

    People really questioned me a lot with my first child. I would agree that you should not express any doubts/frustrations to those who do not support your extended breastfeeding 100%.

    With my second child (who weaned very late) I finally adopted the "don't ask/don't tell" policy. Even some of my "best" friends and virtually all of my family did not know I was still nursing my 4 year old. He only nursed at night by then, so it was not too hard to keep it private.

    Follow your heart! You know what is best for you and your baby. Don't try to convince anyone with words. Your actions will speak for themselves.

    Eby

  10. #10
    Join Date
    Dec 2006
    Posts
    1,197

    Default Re: Tons of criticism

    I say: "Nursing is a relationship between a mother and a child, no one has the right to comment on it since we are not asking for anyone else's boob." That usually shuts them up.

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