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Thread: Would this be mean?

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Mar 2007
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    Default Would this be mean?

    Okay, so I have been tossing around the idea of weaning, at least during the day. My son will be a year in a little over a week and still loves to nurse. He nurses about 5 times a day still and does not take a bottle. I have been wanting to daytime wean mainly so that I can get away with my husband for a day (it's been a looong time since we've had more than just a few hours together). So, until DS starts losing interest more on his own, maybe I could just nurse in the morning, leave for the day and be home for his bedtime feeding, so I could at least get one day to hold me over until he is weaned? I know it might sound selfish, but it is winter and we are huge snowmobilers and I didn't get to go last year at all and want to go so bad now! I feel kind of guilty, but at the same time I feel like I've put in my time and deserve a day of my own! I guess maybe I just want some support and has anyone else done this?

  2. #2
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    Jul 2006
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    Default Re: Would this be mean?

    Are you a SAHM? Are you wanting to wean just for this trip or permanently wean during the day?

    I'm a WOHM and weaned from pumping during the day when my DD was a year old. That being said, we still nurse whenever I'm with her and that means 3,4,5 times a day on the weekends.

    You can wean during the day if you like but what will happen when the trip is over? Are you planning on being away from your LO for 8 hours a day? I know that if I'm home during the week and nursing is accessible, that I will be nursing, kwim?

    LMK a few more details and I can give you better avice.

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  3. #3
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    Nov 2007
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    Default Re: Would this be mean?

    I think leaving for the day sounds like a better option (from LO's POV) than weaning for good. If you just need a day off - take it!! At one year I wouldn't be too worried about your supply, but you might be uncomfortable without at least one pumping session. Just make sure he's got access to solids and water, and he'll be fine!! (I think - I WOHM so I know my DD is fine for 8 hours but maybe you could go on a 4 or 5 hour outing first to make sure??)

    L e i l a, married to hubby, loving our "bock-ee" kinda girl, 6.23.06
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  4. #4
    Join Date
    Oct 2006
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    Default Re: Would this be mean?

    Now my lo was older than a year but this summer on a normal day he would definately nurse more than 5 times, but, if I just wasn't around and he was having fun, I would miss him more than he'd miss me.
    Laura, proud vbacing, ecological breastfeeding mommy to four ages 8, 6, 5, and 2. That's Kate nursing her doll, Adam.

    The Seven Standards of ecological breastfeeding: (1) exclusive breasfeeding for the first 6 months (2) pacify baby at your breast (3) don't use bottles and pacifiers (4) co-sleep for night feedings (5) take a nursing nap (6) nurse frequently day and night; avoiding schedules (7) avoid practices that restrict nursing or separates you from your baby. The average return of menstruation for ecological breastfeeding mothers is between 14 and 15 months.

  5. #5
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    Mar 2007
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    Default Re: Would this be mean?

    I guess that I have thought that I either have to do all or nothing in the weaning department-I hadn't even thought that I could just leave for a day every once in a while and he would be okay. I wouldn't stress at all about weaning if that was the case and would probably just let it happen naturally. I was just more thinking that I had to do it in order to get some time for me since he doesn't take a bottle. And, yes, I am a stay at home mom, so it would be sooo hard for me to try to force him to wean since I am around all the time. So, I think I'll take the advice to leave for half a day first, see how he does, and then try the full day in a week or two. Thanks so much and let me know any other thoughts, too. I am so open to advice!

  6. #6
    Join Date
    May 2006
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    Default Re: Would this be mean?

    Quote Originally Posted by tanner&hallie'smom View Post
    I guess that I have thought that I either have to do all or nothing in the weaning department-I hadn't even thought that I could just leave for a day every once in a while and he would be okay. I wouldn't stress at all about weaning if that was the case and would probably just let it happen naturally. I was just more thinking that I had to do it in order to get some time for me since he doesn't take a bottle. And, yes, I am a stay at home mom, so it would be sooo hard for me to try to force him to wean since I am around all the time. So, I think I'll take the advice to leave for half a day first, see how he does, and then try the full day in a week or two. Thanks so much and let me know any other thoughts, too. I am so open to advice!
    Since he's over a year, and I'm assuming that he eats at least 3 meals of solids, and probably a couple of snacks as well, then physically he'll be fine, as long as he's drinking other liquids from a cup well also.

    However, I do have to say that I think it would be particularly traumatic to just leave for a whole day when you've never ever done that before. It's not just about the breastmilk, its about MOM, and since he's never gone that long without you before, It's going to hurt his feelings even if it doesn't hurt him physically.

    I would suggest a gentler approach that will lead you to the same end, a day to yourself..

    Start out by getting some alone time for yourself during a few evenings when he's able to be home with daddy for at least a few hours. It would be better if you were gone during one of his normal nursing sessions so you'd have an idea from your DH of how your DS reacted when you weren't there for it. I suggest doing it in the evening or whenever your DH can be the caretaker first, because most kids are most attached to mom 1st, and then dad, so dad would be the next best thing.

    If all goes well, then move on to the next step. If things don't go so well, keep taking your alone time during a nursing session a few times a week until he gets used to it, and let daddy work out the best way to console him, whether that's a cup of EBM, or a cup of chocolate milk, or just playing together to distract him.

    Once he can handle a missed session with his daddy, get a sitter and try the same thing during the daytime. Share daddy's tips for consoling baby over the missed nursing session with the sitter, and go take a couple of hours to shop.

    Once he can do that, try lengthening the amount of time spent away from baby during the day slowly, until he can handle it without out too much anxiety. After that point, I'd say you'd be in a good position to know that he wouldn't be too upset even though he'd be missing nursing sessions when you weren't around.

    I would caution you though, that its best to wean slowly, for your physical benefit (avoiding clogged ducts and mastitis) and for baby's physical and mental health as well. In the beginning, just try to get him used to not nursing when he's away from you, and nurse him whenever you're actually with him. If you want to fully wean during the day, that's fine too, but do it gradually by eliminating just one session at a time and giving baby plenty of time to adjust to the lack of a nursing session before eliminating another one.

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